Watermelon Smiles

Well, today was an odd one, I learned something. Pete, Pat, and I all went out to eat. You know, just for the heck of it. And, well, Patrick asked me why I was so jittery. At first I was confused and asked him what he meant. And, he pointed out how I was constantly in some sort of motion and just wouldn't sit still. Pete stood up for me, said that I wanted to tell the boys about "us" but, wasn't sure if I could go through with it. Patrick told me that I should, that, if I don't, things might get pretty ugly. I gave him my thanks and dinner went on when the waitress came over.

But, that got me thinking. What if both Pete and the rest of my band (not counting Brendon, he knows) find out? that would be nothing but disaster. Grade A disaster.

But, unlike some idiots out there, I know I have to make up my mind. It's just that I think I'm going crazy in the process. See, Pete and I talked on the way back from dinner, after we dropped Pat off, he said I had been like this for not just tonight, but for days. He asked what was bugging me, I said nothing. He didn't really try pry after that, but, he did tell me that he was there when I was ready to talk.

I asked him if he thought I needed a shrink, and he said...this is a quote by they way....

"Maybe not a shrink, but someone to talk to. Ryan, I of all people knows what it's like to fell paranoid and alone. And, you know about the extreme I went to. I don't want to see you end up like that. I don't want to see you put into a nut-house. Your mind is better then that and whatever is melting it, you obviously need to talk about. Just don't end up like me, promise?"

So, I did.