Watermelon Smiles

I am still alive, or has so much time passed within two days? I refuse to leave my room, answer my phone, and I stole Brendon and Spencer's keys back, so they can't get me either. Huddled up under my sheets, somehow I'm able to see to write this one down. It's amazing the paper hasn't turned to absolute mush from tears and sobs. Just try and follow me here.

There was a fork in the road that I was stuck at, I was unable to choose. So, I chose the tree in between the two paths, hoping I might find a happy little nest there. Then, a storm came whilst I was still searching and the tree was struck down by a stray bolt of lightening. It didn't burst into flames, no, but it cut off one of the paths and destroyed the nest I was dreaming of. I'm available only one path now, unless I can somehow move the tree, but, it's impossible, I'm no bigger then a bird, and both of my wings have been broken.

Everyone keeps calling, so, I just shut my phone off. I don't need reassurance right now, I need time alone. Just to cuddle up under a sheet in a dark room with no dialog, no music, just the loudness of the quiet (which I think is only making my head-ache worse). Oh, and, just so you know, I left Donald at Brendon's house a day ago, this way he wouldn't be neglected. It's not fair for him to suffer because of me.

Every minute is an hour, every hour a year, every day a millennium. Perhaps all my karma is just now catching up with me, or, is this something I brought onto myself. On purpose? Maybe...I don't know.

It was a stray lightening bolt that crashed into the tree, and brought me down. It was the one thing that wanted the path more then I could apparently imagine. His vibes has threatened me before, but, I ignored it, never wrote it down into your pages. It was just a silly little play of my imagination, right? Wrong, horribly, horribly, dead wrong. This lightening bolt had built up his jealousy until he could no longer control himself and struck down into my little tree. He claims it was an accident, but, I know the truth. Though, he way a stray bolt of lightening, the only one with enough power to strike though. There were several, none of them could even think of knocking me down though. Only him.

I can't say I hate him for hitting me. I have to thank the little (big) lightening bolt that has officially chosen for me, I wasn't planning on doing so myself. I just can't believe he'd do it, is all. I'm not mad, just shocked...depresed...i wish I had Pete's Ativan right about now....