Not up to Me, Not up to You

Kelly stood in front of her mirror holding her bouquet. She couldn’t believe this day was finally her. She’d been with Matt since 9th grade and today she would finally be marrying him. She smiled broadly as that thought entered her thoughts. She was finally marrying the man she loved. She was taken from her thoughts by the sound of her chief bridesmaid calling her from the other side of her bedroom door.

“Come in Leana.” Kelly called back and was immediately joined by her best friend.

“Wow, you look so beautiful, Matt’s going to freak out when he sees you walk into that room.” Leana said as Kelly smiled back at her.

“The cars are here, are you ready?” she added.

“Yeah” Kelly said simply, taking a step forward towards the door.

Kelly was met by a wave of “Ooh’s” and “Ahhs” as she walked slowly down the stairs, still continuing to smile broadly. Nothing could wipe that smile off her face today. She was the happiest woman in the world.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe my little girl is getting married!” Kelly’s mom managed to say through tears.

“Mom, don’t be stupid! I’ve been with Matt since I was like 14; you’ve been expecting this wedding since we graduated!” Kelly said hugging her mom carefully, making sure not to crease her dress or squash her flowers.

“I know. I just wish your dad could have been here to see this. He would have been so proud of you.” Her mom replied carefully wiping her eyes trying to avoid smudging her make-up.

“Mom, please don’t get me started, I don’t want to scare Matt off by walking into the wedding chapel with panda eyes.” Kelly said forcing out a small laugh as she tried not to dwell on the fact that her dad wasn’t there on her wedding day.

“Guys, we’ve really got to get moving.” Jimmy said stepping towards Kelly.

“Shall we?” he said holding his arm out for Kelly to link hers with his, a large smile on his face.

Jimmy was giving Kelly away. He’d been her best friend since kindergarten and came as a natural choice for the job with the absence of her father. Kelly linked her arm to Jimmy and began the walk out to the car. They were met by various camera flashes from her family and friends who’d come to her house to see her before she left for the ceremony.

“We’ve got a small problem!” Gena said quietly as she opened the car door as it pulled up outside the chapel.

“What kind of a problem?” Kelly yelled, jumping out of the car with a panicked look on her face.

“No! Nothing serious!” Gena yelled back realising that she’d miss-led the bride-to-be. “There’s a bit of a hold up, they’re running a little late. The wedding party before us hasn’t gone in yet.” Gena explained and both Kelly and Jimmy took a deep, audible breath.

“Thank fuck for that! I thought for a moment I’d have to kill Matt or something!” Jimmy yelled as he stepped out of the car behind Kelly.

“So what’s happening now? Do I just sit out here in the car or what?” Kelly asked.
Gena shook her head. “No, there’s a room where we can all go wait. Well actually two rooms, one for the bridal party and another for all the other guests and Matt.” She explained as she began to lead them into the building.

“Ok, so us guys are in here, don’t worry Matt’s on the other side of the building, but there is another wedding party in the next room, but hopefully they’ll be going into the chapel soon.”

Gena said leading them into a small room where the other bridesmaids and her mom were waiting.

The added time waiting was doing nothing for her nerves and the water that she was drinking soon meant that Kelly had no choice but to go to the bathroom.

“I’m not going to hold on much longer, I’ve got to go to the bathroom!” Kelly announced to the room as she got up, handing Jimmy her bouquet.

“Do you want help?” Leana asked raising up slightly from her seat on the other side of Jimmy.

“Lea, I’ve been going to the toilet by myself now for almost 25 years, I think I can manage!” Kelly said giggling as Leana blushed slightly.

Kelly muttered obscenities under her breath as she tried to find her way back to the waiting room. Maybe she should have allowed Leana to come with?

“Stupid fucking hallways, all looking the fucking same, if they’ve called me into the chapel-“ her rant was cut off as she hit something solid that she was pretty sure wasn’t a wall or door.

“Shit sorry.” The solid object muttered. Definitely wasn’t a wall or door. Kelly quickly recovered and began to look up at the tall, muscular man that stood in front of her.
Before Kelly could get a look at the man’s face he spoke.

“Are you ok?” he asked in a deep voice that Kelly immediately recognised. It was a voice she hadn’t heard properly in over four years. When I say properly I mean she hadn’t heard it when she was awake. In her dreams however she heard it often. Haunting her as did the face it belonged to. Ever since the last time she saw him, stood in front of her, shackled, in an orange jumpsuit, she’d had frequent dreams where she would see his face, hear his voice, feel his lips on hers. She’d tried hard to forget about him. To push the images of him out of her head, to concentrate fully on her relationship with Matt. But he just wouldn’t let her go. And now here he was stood in front of her on her wedding day, staring at her as she was staring up at him, aware by the look on his face that he too had recognised her.

“Kelly?” Brian questioned as she nodded.

“Hi Brian. When did you get released?” she asked feeling herself blush as she stared at him, taking in every detail of his body.

“Six months ago.” He replied staring sullenly at her wedding dress.

“So is Matt the lucky guy?” he asked pointing at her dress. Kelly couldn’t help but smile. At first she thought it was at the mention of Matt’s name but then she realised that it was because he remembered Matt’s name, even after four years. She looked up at Brian and nodded to answer his question.

“What are you doing here?” Kelly asked unsure at what else to say, and wanting to try and block out the little voice in her head yelling at her – “He’s so fucking hot! Forget about Matt!”

“My sister’s getting married. I guess after you.” He replied taking a step forward towards Kelly, who hadn’t noticed that she’d subconsciously taken a step closer to him.

“I’ve thought about you every day for the last four years, part of me praying that you’d come and visit me.” Brian whispered.

“Part of me wanted to.” Kelly whispered back honestly. “I even turned up at the prison one day but turned around.” She said as they took another step towards each other.

“I don’t know what it is about you but-“ he whispered as she reached up and placed her lips against his.

“But I can’t get you out of my head.” she whispered finishing his sentence as she pulled away. He nodded and crashed his lips against hers in a forceful kiss, their tongues colliding in their mouths, fighting for dominance.

“KELLY!” Leana’s voice bellowed from somewhere down the corridor causing Brian and Kelly to pull apart quickly. Looking into his eyes Kelly took a deep breath before calling back to her chief bridesmaid.

“I’m down here!” she called back just as Leana appeared through the double doors at the end of the corridor.

“Here you are! We were starting to think you’d done a runner, we’ve just been called. Who’s he?” she said in one long rant as she walked up to them.

“Oh I was just asking him directions back to the waiting room, these corridors all look the same.” She said quickly smiling up at Brian briefly before turning back to Leana.

“Did you say we’d been called?” she asked.

“Oh shit yeah! Come on we’ve got to get you to the ceremony, everyone’s waiting.” Leana squealed grabbing hold of her hand.

Kelly giggled as she got dragged back down the corridor, looking back briefly to see Brian still stood where she’d left him, watching her being dragged away from him, a saddened look on his face. As she went through the double doors she turned around briefly again to see him sullenly turn away and walk in the opposite direction his head in his chest.