Not up to Me, Not up to You

Everyone pilled into the small room and began to take it in turns to hold the sleeping baby. Brian moved around so that he was sat on the bed next to Kelly, his arm around her shoulder as she rested her head on his chest, struggling to keep her eyes open.

“So does this beautiful little boy have a name yet?” Gena asked as she gazed down at him in her arms.

Kelly’s eyes fluttered opened and she looked up at Matt who nodded with a proud smile.

“He’s called Cody James.” Kelly said looking up in his direction as everyone cooed.

“James?” Jimmy yelled excitedly. Kelly looked over at him and nodded with a smile as she turned her gaze to her mother.

“After your dad?” Jimmy said seeing the look Kelly and her mom were sharing and again Kelly nodded.

“He’ll be so proud of you, and of your son.” Hayley whispered quietly with tears filling her eyes.

“Jimmy, you mean the world to me as well, you’ve been there for me through everything since we were four. That’s why he’s James and not Thomas.” She said quietly and Jimmy’s eyes widened before running over to the bed and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her out of Brian’s arms.

“I love you.” he whispered quietly as he kissed her forehead and gently allowed her to fall back into Brian’s arms. There was another quiet knock at the door and Leanne came in to tell everyone to say their goodbyes as Kelly needed to rest.

Everyone left, leaving Kelly, Brian and Cody alone again. Brian gently placed Cody into the plastic crib and pulled it over to the side of the bed before lying down on the hospital bed next to Kelly who was soon fast asleep better than if she’d been heavily sedated.

Kelly woke suddenly a few hours later, realising that the crying baby she could hear was her own. She opened her eyes to find Brian pacing the room trying to comfort Cody.

“I’m guessing he’s hungry” she said groggily as she pushed herself up in the bed, making Brian jump.

“I didn’t want to wake you.” he replied walking over to the bed and placing Cody in her arms.

“Come on then little man, let’s get you some milk.” Kelly said adjusting her nightgown so that she was able to breastfeed her son. He latched on immediately and began to drink the milk.

“Now that looks like fun.” Brian whispered with a smile, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“Behave yourself you, these are his toys now, you’ve had your fun with them.” She teased quietly.

Brian pouted. “That’s not fair, he’ll have to learn to share.” He said in a whiny voice. Kelly giggled and smiled at him.

“Not while they’re this sore.” She replied and Brian smiled back at her.

“So how are you feeling anyway?” he asked as Cody finished feeding.

“Sore, tired and empty.” She said simply.

“Empty?” Brian questioned.

“Yeah, like there’s something missing from inside me.” Kelly said, knowing that what she was saying was strange.

“Baby, that’s what happens when you give birth.” Brian said quietly and slowly.

“I know that, it’s just, it’s weird, I mean I’ve carried him around inside me for nine months, feeling him moving around, kicking me, and now I can’t feel that anymore. It’s strange, and I’m not expecting you to understand.” She said with a smile as she looked between Brian and Cody, who had his baby blue eyes open looking up at her. Her gaze was only disturbed when she looked up at the sound of the door opening.

“Good morning, how are we all doing?” the midwife asked cheerfully.

“I’m Katherine, Leanne’s finished her shift and told me all about you, so I’ll be looking after you until you go home.” She added as she came over to stand next to the bed.

“Aww, he’s beautiful, have you tried feeding yet?” she asked and Kelly began to nod.

“Yeah, he’s just had some.”

“Breast? Did he take well?” she replied with a cheerful smile across her face.

“Yeah, he took straight away, he was pretty hungry, I think he’ll have his dad’s appetite.” She smiled.

She glanced up at Brian and smiled with a nod. “Good, good, now, I’m going to check you both over, and hopefully I’ll be able to tell the doctor that you’re both fit to leave the hospital this afternoon. I’m sure you don’t want to spend another night here do you?” she said reaching out to take Cody.

Kelly shook her head. She hated hospitals. “I just want to be home with him.” She replied.

True to her word Katherine advised the doctor that both mother and baby were fit enough to go home that afternoon and both were on their way home a little after three o’clock.

As they neared the house they couldn’t help but notice the large banners that were hung outside along side the masses of blue balloons. Kelly’s heart sunk. All she wanted to do was curl up on the sofa with Brian and Cody. She really wasn’t in the mood to deal with people now. Sighing deeply she got out of the car and read the banners as Brian got Cody out.

One of the banners read “IT’S A BOY” while the other read “CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BIRTH OF CODY JAMES"

“Did you know about this?” Kelly asked as they walked towards the front door. Brian shook his head. As they got to the door Kelly noticed a piece of paper taped to it. She took the note off the door and began to read it as Brian opened the door.

“Don’t worry, we’re not here, we know you will only want to rest and spend time with your beautiful son today. But we still wanted to give you a warm welcome home so we hope you liked our banners. We would like to call round to see you sometime soon though. Speak to you soon love “The Gang”. Xxx”

Kelly smiled at the note, thankful that they were all thoughtful enough not to be there and give her some time with Brian and Cody.

“Come on Mama, go put your feet up on the sofa with our son.” Brian said closing the door behind them. Kelly looked up at him with a tired smile. He leant down and kissed her lips with a smile.

She made herself comfortable and Brian passed her Cody so she could place him on her chest. She smiled as she sleepily played with the small wisps of black hair on his head.
Before Brian had returned from sorting everything out Kelly had drifted off to sleep.
Kelly woke up to the sound of Brian’s hushed voice. She listed with her eyes still shut to figure out who he was talking to.

“I never thought I’d see her again after I was put in prison, but that didn’t stop me thinking about her everyday for four years.” He said quietly. Kelly frowned. Who was he talking to?

“I love your mom so much you wouldn’t believe.” He said quietly.

‘Your mom?’ he was talking to Cody. Kelly smiled without opening her eyes and listened to Brian continue.

“I didn’t mean to break up your mom and dad. I didn’t mean to spoil their wedding. But after I saw her that day and after she told me that she’d felt the same as I did and after we kissed, I knew I had to take a chance.” He continued.

“She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I know that you’re not my son, but that’s not going to stop me loving you any less. I’ll do anything for you and your mom. I’ll always be here for you.”

“And you know what else? I know that she’s awake and listening to every word I’ve said, and I want her to know that I’ve meant every word.” He added as Kelly allowed her eyes to flutter open with a smile. She looked up to see him gazing down at Cody in his arms.

“I love you Kelly Stone.” He said lifting his gaze to her.

“I love you too Brian Haner.” She replied sleepily with a broad smile.

“And you’re going to be a brilliant father to Cody. He’s going to be such a lucky little boy with two doting fathers to look out for him.” She added as she pushed herself into a sitting position.

“I meant what I said.” Brian said simply and Kelly nodded.

“I know.” She whispered her reply.

“Brian?” Kelly said quietly, breaking his gaze with Cody again.

“I want us to have a baby.” She said slowly. Brian gave her a quizzical look.

“Baby, we’ve got a baby.” He said.

“No, I want us to have a baby.” She replied. Brian’s eyes widened.

“Baby, you know I’d love to have a baby with you, but don’t you think we should wait a while. Cody is less than a day old.” He replied. Kelly sighed deeply and nodded.

“I guess you’re right.” she replied as he got up and walked over to her, placing Cody in her arms as he began to stir.

“Besides, I was kind of hoping you’d marry me before we got a little brother or sister for this little one.” He said as a wide, shocked smile spread across her face.

“Married?” she whispered.

“Well yeah, I was planning the big proposal when I had the ring, but Kelly Stone will you marry me?” he asked, bending down on one knee.

“Oh my god yes!” she screamed causing Cody to start crying and Brian to smash his lips onto hers.