Worry Rock

I pushed the door to the Oakland house open and stepped inside before closing it quietly. I flicked on the small lamp in the hallway as I placed my jacket on the hanger. Travis’s hat still sat on top of my head, covering my eyes somewhat. I pulled the hat up so I could see through the dark house; the dim glow of the TV from the other room and the lamp that I had just turned on being my only source of light.

I slowly entered the lounge, half expecting Sydney to be up even though she should have been in bed. I bit my tongue when I saw the figure of my husband lounged out on one of the couches, his eyes barely open with the remote dangling from his hand that hung off the couch. His eyes slowly crawled away from the television to where I stood. He arched an eyebrow slowly and licked his bottom lip. “You’re alive,” he said in a quiet voice.

“Yeah, I would say so.”

Billie Joe propped himself up somewhat while putting the television on mute. “Joe, where the hell have you been?”

I sighed as I crossed the lounge and plopped myself down on the love seat that sat next to the couch. “I told you. Travis needed help.”

“And it took.” He paused briefly as he craned his neck to look at the digital clock that sat on the table. “Twelve hours to do so?”

“We went back to his house.”

Billie Joe chuckled in a sarcastic way. “And what did you do at his house that lasted twelve hours?”

I rolled my eyes at the older man. “You sound like my fucking brother when I had my first boyfriend.”

I heard him huff angrily as he sat back down on the couch. “It’s becoming-“

“What are you watching?” I asked him, signaling that I wanted the subject dropped, and I wouldn’t speak anymore about it.

“Law and Order.”

I smiled to myself. “I used to love that show. I haven’t watched it lately.”

Billie Joe shrugged. “Nothing else was on.”

“So why’d you stay up?” I asked.

“Because I’m me,” he stated simply, “Because I wanted to wait up for you.”

“Why? You were pissed off at me this morning. I’d imagine that you’d go to bed.”

Billie Joe shrugged once again. “Maybe…” He sighed loudly and placed his hand on his forehead. “I’m sorry. That’s why I stayed up. I was nervous you wouldn’t come home because I was a jerk before. So I was going to see if you did show if; if you didn’t I was going to call you.”

“You’re so insecure about me, Billie,” I murmured.

I watched him bow his head before he looked back up at me. “What’s with the hat?”

Now it was his turn to change the unwanted subject.

I placed my hand on the top of my head, feeling the felt of the dark blue hat underneath it. “I stole it from Travis,” I admitted. “We were in the mall and I took it from him. I guess I just forgot to give it back; we both did.”

Despite the small bubble of anger the older man felt, he smiled. I looked back up at the television before standing up. “I’m gonna head up to bed,” I said softly, removing Travis’s Yankee’s hat from my head.

“Mmk.”

I stood up slowly, only to see the small figure of Charlie walking around the kitchen. “Did you or Sydney let Charlie out?”

Billie Joe shook his head slowly. “No, he’s been sleeping the whole day.”

I sighed, my eyes darting from one side of the dark room to the other trying to spot the leash. “I’ll walk him then.”

Without another word said I walked into the kitchen and picked up the small dog. I pressed my lips to Charlie’s head as I grabbed the leash off of the counter and clipped it onto his collar before placing him back on the tiled floor. I walked back through the lounge and put my shoes back on before pushing myself through the door, Charlie trotting behind me. The door behind me closed with a clatter, causing my head to snap up. My eyes met Billie Joe’s dark ones as he stepped off the porch and stood next to me. “What are you doing?” I asked after a moment of silence.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I thought I’d come along.”

I felt myself smile as I nodded slowly. It was obvious that the reason he wanted to walk with me was because he wanted to talk. “You hate Charlie, though.”

Billie Joe looked down at the small dog, making a sour face. “I know; which is exactly why I thought I should come protect you from him.”

A giggle escaped through my lips as I placed a hand over my heart. “My hero.”

The older man grinned widely as he shoved his hands into his coat pockets. “I hate the early months,” he complained as we started walking. “It’s so damn cold.”

I snorted at Billie Joe, tangling Charlie’s leash in my hand. “You’d never survive winters in Connecticut.”

Billie Joe chuckled. “I’m terrible when we go to your brothers for Christmas. You know; I have to have like fifteen fucking blankets just to be warm.”

I nodded slowly, a sly smile appearing on my lips. “You’re definitely a California boy.”

“Proud of it, too.”

I smiled gently once again as my eyes adverted back to Charlie, who trotted as far ahead of Billie Joe and I as he could with the leash. There was a short silence between the two of us, comfortable, unlike the ones before. A strong hand slowly slid it’s self into my own, entwining their finger’s with my own. “Travis likes the Yankees?”

I smirked to myself, although Billie Joe caught it. “Yes, yes he does.”

The guitarist let got of my hand for a moment to hold up his own. “Hey, I’m not sayin’ anything about it.” He coughed. “‘Cept they suck.”

My cheeks turned a pinkish color as I heard myself laugh and swat at his elbow. “They’ve done better than the Red Sox, darling.”

He laughed to himself and shrugged. “It’s because they felt bad for the Yankees. Boston doesn’t want to make New York look bad.”

“So instead they embarrass themselves by losing multiple times.”

“Shouldn’t you like Boston?” Billie Joe asked, a playful grin on his lips, “You lived closer to Boston than the city.”

“Same distance away from me, different directions. New York City was south two hours of me, Boston north two hours. And besides that, I went to the city before I went to Boston.” I took a free hand to poke Billie Joe’s midriff, “And what about you, hmm? A Californian liking an eastern team?”

Billie stuck his tongue out at me. “I pick winners.”

“So why’d you pick the Red Sox?”

Billie Joe opened his mouth to answer, but was only cut off by an annoying yipping noise as Charlie tried to take off. However, the leash caught him, causing his body to stop abruptly and him to make a choking noise. My husband shot the dog a sour look. “Of course,” he said without any emotion in his voice, “Sydney had to pick the fucking retarded dog to buy.”

“You love him somewhere deep in that shallow heart of yours,” I cooed innocently.

The older man rolled his eyes playfully. “The only person in this family that that dog likes is you, and that’s because you fucking spoil him. He gets carried up and down the stairs and gets to sleep in the bed more often than I do.”

“It’s because he’s sweet to me.” I lifted a finger slowly and placed it on Billie Joe’s chest. “You know, I think you could take pointers from him. He seems to be quite the lady’s man.”

Billie Joe placed his hand under my chin, a sly grin on his face as he placed his lips gently yet firmly against my own. “Darling, I taught him everything he knows.”

* * *

The morning air was crisp, the normal Oakland smells entering through the open window. The only sound that clashed with my ears was the loud snores that drifted from the other side of the bed. I sat up slowly as Charlie lifted his small head and looked over at Billie Joe before looking back at me. “I know,” I agreed with the small dog, “He really is loud.”

Charlie got up and then bent down as he yawned before stumbling over to me. He plopped right down in front of me and looked up at me. I giggled as I reached to pick him up and cuddled him sweetly against my chest. There was a loud snore before a snort and grunt. I rolled my eyes as Billie Joe groaned and sat up slowly. He yawned and looked over at me slowly, his hair matted down across his eyes so that he could barely see. “Damn…” he grumbled, “I can’t see.”

“No wonder.” I placed Charlie on the bed before crawling over to Billie Joe. I brushed the dark locks of hair from his eyes causing him to grin. “I think you need a haircut.”

He chuckled as he slowly leaned in to press his lips against mine. “I’ll get one this week, I just have to remember to make an appointment.”

The older man’s eyes slowly crawled over to where I sat cross-legged. I rolled my eyes playfully at him as I rested my chin in the palm of my hand. “I’ll call later.”

Billie Joe grinned as he turned to lie on his side and look at me. “Thanks baby.”

I smiled as I pulled my body so that I was now lying down next to him. Billie Joe turned so that he lied on his back, my head resting on his chest as I lie on my side. We fit together like puzzle pieces. I looked over the tattoos he had sprawled out across his body, my fingers running gently over the colored ink on his upper torso of Sydney’s name. “What would you do if I became pregnant again?” I asked gently.

Billie Joe shifted on the bed next to me, a slightly confused look on his face. “What?”

“If I were to tell you, right now, that I was pregnant.” I sat up a little bit to get a better look at his face. “What would you do?”

The older man shifted once more again in the bed. “I’d be—uh, happy.”

It was only then that it occurred to me that I was making him nervous with this conversation. He was starting to think that I actually was pregnant. “Really now?” I cooed.

I fell back down on the mattress once again and sighed deeply. “I miss having a little baby. I think it’d be nice to have another.”

Billie Joe arched an eyebrow slowly. “Forget how old I am, darling?”

“Mmm…yeah…there’s always that problem. When the kid is twenty, you’d be ancient.”

The older man smirked. “Thanks, babe.”

I giggled as I kissed his cheek innocently. “We should like, stick you in a time machine.”

Billie Joe laughed half-heartedly. Age had always been a delicate thing with him. One of our biggest fights had been over the age difference between the two of us when we had just started to date. It had started when he had lied to people about my age in an interview and I saw. Needless to say, I had been hurt.

*

“What the fuck do you expect me to say, Mandy?” he had hissed angrily. “Oh yeah, I’m dating a girl that’s barely legal. That sounds fucking wonderful. Why don’t you just stamp PEDOPHILE across my forehead?”

I turned away from him, get ready to walk back inside the house from the patio where we had been arguing and yelling so loud that I was pretty sure the neighbors could hear. “That’s low,” I mumbled, “Even for you, Billie Joe. I never really thought you’d be ashamed by my age.”

“I’m not ashamed,” he said rudely, “You’re just being immature.”

“Open your eyes, Billie Joe!” I cried out angrily, “I’m not the twenty-nine year old you described me as!”

Billie Joe looked away slowly, letting me walk into the house without another word. For the next three days not another word was spoken until Billie Joe cracked.

*

“Joe?”

I looked back up at Billie Joe slowly. “Yeah, hun?”

“Are you pregnant?”

I giggled, making a clicking sound with my tongue. “Would it be bad if I were?”

“No, I’m just wondering.”

I kissed his lips gently. “No, I’m not. I woke up during the night because Charlie was barking and I couldn’t sleep so I went downstairs. I looked at the photo album of when Sydney was a baby, and it just made me think.”

“Oh,oh.”

I giggled once again as I kissed his jaw line, causing him to grin and close his eyes as his head rolled back somewhat. He ran his hands over my hips and slowly caressed my back. He pulled me down and stared at the top of my head for a moment. I looked up at him from the top of my eyes slowly. “What’s wrong?”

“I…actually…it would be really cool-- nice if you were pregnant again. We make some amazing kids together.”

I sat up slowly and smiled, running a hand down his colorful chest. “We make beautiful babies.”

It was Billie Joe’s turn to grin. He sat up slowly and ran a hand through his hair to brush it out of his eyes before he crawled over to me. He latched onto my body, dragging us both back down onto the soft mattress. “You were such a beautiful pregnant lady.”

“I was a frikken whale, Billie.”

He shook his head, collecting my lips with his own. “You were beautiful.”

I bit my lip in order to keep myself from arguing with him. “We both have different opinions then,” I murmured in a sweet tone.

Billie Joe chuckled as a silence swept the bedroom. “Do you really want a baby?” he asked gently.

I looked up at the older man and arched an eyebrow slowly. “Baby, it was just a momentary thing. I know we couldn’t again. It’d be weird.”

Billie Joe hesitated before nodding slowly and shrugging. “Yeah,” he admitted, “You’re right.”

I forced myself up once again and turned to look at Billie Joe, confused by his quiet tone. “You want another baby?” I asked him.

He shrugged once again. “I don’t know. Maybe it was just a momentary thing.”

I stared at him, as if not believing him for a moment before I lay back down. Almost immediately I sat back up, causing Billie Joe to groan. “You want another baby,” I said in disbelief, “But you won’t admit it because that would mean that you acting crazy before would have been foolish-“

“I never said that, Joe. The idea is just cute. I love raising little babies.”

“You want another baby!”

Billie Joe sighed, running a hand over his forehead. “It just sounded cute, Joe. I love being a father. I’m not saying that I want to make you pregnant right here and right now.”

I rolled my eyes. “You just have too much of an ego to admit that you want another baby and that I was the one to want something right for once.”

The guitarist furrowed his brow as he sat up. He slowly crawled on top of me and straddled me before slowly kissing me. His lips broke away, and he stared at me for a moment with admiration in his eyes, causing me to melt. “Yeah,” he admitted. “Yeah, Joe. I think it'd be great to have another baby."