Worry Rock

I believe that everyone who lives in California should own a shirt that reads I hate New York. Or really, anyone could own that shirt. If there had been a shirt like that, I would have been wearing it proudly at the moment.

If there could be a shirt that said I love New York why couldn’t there be one to hate it? The city was full of creeps who were ready and waiting to mug, molest or rape you. Billie Joe had already been victim to one of those crimes.

Billie Joe had held my hand starting in the airport and hadn’t let go until I finally let him. I was terrified of flying. When I was younger I had loved flying. I wanted to be a pilot, really. However, ever since the time Billie Joe was on tour and I had flown out to meet him for the last half of it and experienced some of the worst turbulence ever, it was hard to get me back on one other than going to my brothers in January for Christmas – and even that was hard.

When we sat down in our seats in first class, it went from Sydney to me, to Billie. Billie Joe pulled his iPod out and shoved his carry-on in the compartment above along with Sydney’s. He sat back down next to me, waiting for me to give him my bag. Billie Joe outstretched his hand with his iPod in it to me. I quirked an eyebrow. “Do you want it?” He asked with a smile. “You usually forget yours.”

I grinned widely, holding up a finger. “I remembered mine this time,” I told Billie Joe proudly.

Billie Joe chuckled and grinned back at me, kissing my cheek as he rested his head on the headrest. I searched through my bag and scowled, catching Billie Joe’s attention. He handed me his iPod and I sighed and took it gratefully, handing him an earphone. “You can take one. I’m sorry for depriving you of your iPod.”

Billie Joe smiled lightly, closing his eyes. “I knew you would forget it.”

“I had it right on the bed,” I countered, “I got one step closer.”

Billie Joe kissed my forehead lightly. “Alright, sweetie, whatever you say.”

I giggled and sat back in my seat, my eyes wandering over to Sydney who was already comfortable in her seat and watching the movie that was showing on the television that hung down from the ceiling in front of her. She was the complete opposite of me and loved to fly.

After a few moments I felt something slightly heavy drop onto my shoulder. I looked over next to me to see only a head of disheveled brown hair resting on my shoulder. Despite the fact that I was had gone stiff from the fact that the plane would be taking off soon, I was still able to grin and run a hand through Billie Joe’s hair.

My husband lifted his head and grinned back at me, his lips gently pressing my own as he slid his iPod out of my hand and lifted it to near the end of his nose so that he could see it properly to change the song. We both had one earphone in one ear, and apparently he didn’t like what I had been listening to even though it had been on his iPod t begin with.

Billie Joe dropped his head back onto my shoulder, maneuvering his head so that it was buried in my neck. He kissed the side of it gently; making sure Sydney was fully engulfed in her movie. “Guess what,” he murmured.

Both of us ignored the voice on the loudspeaker telling us to prepare for takeoff and continued to speak in hushed voices. “You’ve snuck Mike and Tre onto the plane with us?”

Billie Joe chuckled but shook his head, taking it from my neck although he kept leaning over the armrest and using my body as a pillow. “No, darling. That’ll never happen again. However,” he paused for dramatic effect and grinned mischievously. “Our hotel has slightly thicker walls than a lot in the city.”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

I pushed my face into Billie Joe’s hair to keep myself from being heard as I laughed. “Does it really?” I asked after a moment. The man next to me grinned widely, as if proud of himself and nodded. I cocked an eyebrow, a smile still on my lips though. “And how would you know?”

Billie Joe shrugged. “I asked,” he stated simply as if I should have known it all along.

I cackled into my husbands hair, feeling him continue to grin below me. “You asked if the walls in the hotels were thick?”

“Uhh, yeah,” Billie Joe said again simply. “Please,” he rolled his eyes now, “I do listen to some things you say. Believe it or not, I really do.”

“Only when it has to do with you getting laid,” I countered.

“No,” Billie Joe argued lamely. “I listen to you a lot more than when it has to do with sex.”

“Okay, baby,” I murmured, gently kissing his lips. I pulled away slowly, crossing my legs as I sat in the seat. Billie Joe pushed himself closer to me.

“No, one more kiss.”

I giggled at how childish he sounded. I kissed him once again before pulling back a final time. “Now, how did you manage to get thicker walls?”

“I called around. I bet these people are used to it. Hotels in a city? Many people are going to want to have sex.”

“So they build their hotels with thicker walls? Genius.” I rolled my eyes as Billie Joe grinned sheepishly.

“It got them people, didn’t it?” He asked triumphantly.

I laughed lightly. “More like it got them a horny rock star and his poor family.”

“I was actually considering getting a honeymoon suit.”

I stopped myself from laughing by snorting as Billie Joe blushed. “And then you remembered that honeymoon suits are for honeymooners, right darling?”

“Well, actually, I just remembered that when we went on our honeymoon they didn’t have a spare bedroom or anything for Sydney.”

“That’s because most people don’t bring their children on honeymoons, or the fact that most honeymooners don’t sleep in different rooms.” I gasped and held up a finger. “Or that most people sleep in honeymoon suits when they’re on their honeymoons and not summer vacation with their teenage child after already being married for thirteen years.”

“You see, this is why I can’t tell you things.”

I giggled, reaching over to ruffle Billie Joe’s brown hair. “You can tell me anything, baby, but I do believe that I have permission to laugh at the fact that you would sink so low to have sex that you were considering a honeymoon suit.”

“I wasn’t considering it; it just popped into my head.”

“Of course it did, darling.”

Billie Joe scowled and sunk down into his seat more, taking his head from my shoulder. I smiled at him and moved in my seat so that I could wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. “I’m sorry.” Billie Joe continued to pout and turned his head away from me. I sighed at his childish antics. “What can I do to make it up to you?” I asked monotonously. “And no, I won’t give you a hand job right here right now.”

He grinned and chuckled softly. “Would you have sex with me in the bathroom?”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to keep it in your pants for now, sweetie,” I said with a mockingly sweet smile. I slid my hand down his chest and to his thigh, squeezing the inside. Billie Joe jumped and gasped, grabbing into my hand. I continued to grin.

“No. No, no, no. That’s not funny.”

“It would be a lot funnier if we were going to a honeymoon suit, yeah?”

Despite the fact that he tried to scowl, Billie Joe laughed and sighed, shaking his head. I sat back in my seat and gently placed my head against the headrest. I felt Billie Joe place his head on my shoulder as he sighed once again, only this time in content. “Wake me when we land?” He murmured into my shirt.

I just nodded, yawning to myself as I looked over at Sydney to make sure she was alright. She had been totally out of it and watching the movie that had been playing the whole time.

+++

I hadn’t woken Billie Joe up when the plane landed.

I would have, however, had I actually been awake myself. Turns out, when the plane landed Billie Joe woke up by himself while Sydney had been watching movies the whole ride. Billie Joe had already taken the bags down from the compartments above us. Sydney had asked her father if she should wake me up, but he had told her not to worry and to let me sleep.

When he had gotten the three carry-on bags down he had leant over across his seat and gently shook me. “Joe, wake up darling.”

It had taken quite a bit to wake me up, but eventually he had and all three of us got off of the plane. Had I been able to, I would have kissed the floors of the JFK airport. The fact that I was off the plane ruled out the fact that I despised New York for what seemed a few minutes of my life. As we walked from the terminal with Sydney right in front of us, I slid my carry-on messenger bag over my shoulder as Billie Joe slid his hand into my own entwining our fingers.

Sydney and I both waited for our bags to come along at the baggage claim as Billie Joe made his way outside to flag down a taxi. The reason Billie Joe had gone to flag down a taxi was because the only thing he was worse at than flagging down a taxi was finding our bags and neither of us would let Sydney out of our sight now that we were in the city.

As soon as Sydney and I had our bags we had dragged them outside of the airport where Billie Joe stood, the back half of his body sticking out of the passenger seat’s window of a taxi cab. Sydney put down her suitcases and stood with her arms crossed, sniggering at her father as I sighed at him. I placed a hand on Billie Joe’s shoulder and slowly pulled him out. The driver of the cab was laughing while Billie Joe grinned. I didn’t bother asking what was going on as Billie Joe confirmed that this was our taxi. “Would you like help with the bags?” He asked as Sydney came back over to us.

I looked over toward the four suitcases that sat on the sidewalk near the three of us. “Actually, my arm hurts, so yes, I would.”

Billie Joe scowled but grinned, going over to lift up the suitcases. Sydney and I both watched as Billie Joe’s eyes widened and he looked up over at me. “What the fuck do you have in these? Joe, we’re not here for the whole fucking summer.”

I rolled my eyes and stepped closer to my husband, picking up two suitcases. “These are mine, darling. Those ones you’re carrying and whining about? They’re yours.”

“What?” He cried out. “No they’re not. I packed lightly!”

“That is lightly for you, darling. Now put your stuff in the taxi. Stop wasting time.”

I picked up my bags as if they were weightless and placed them in the back of the taxi while Billie Joe scowled and hissed rude words underneath his breath, dragging his along. I walked over to the struggling man and sighed before taking one of his suitcases and putting it into the back of the taxi. Billie Joe continued to pull the other right behind me. Once they were both in the taxi I turned around and smiled, bringing my arms around my husband’s neck. I kissed his lips softly. “I lied. One of those was mine and I carried one of yours.”

Billie Joe groaned. He kissed me back quickly. “That’s spousal abuse.”

I laughed as he pulled me into the cab where Sydney had already put herself into and closed the door behind me. “Oh please, don’t get me started on spousal abuse.”

+++

Jet lag had always been a problem for Billie Joe and I, but never Sydney. Whenever we would get into our hotel room after traveling, either on vacation or on tour Sydney would be the first to suggest where to go meanwhile Billie Joe and I both sat and agreed with her, our eyes half open as we used each other for pillows.

However, before we would have had time to use each other for pillows and actually fell asleep, Sydney was up and looking around and that meant that we’d have to be somewhere near her. Unfortunately, her mind was like her fathers joined with a teenagers’ and staying up to date with Sydney was almost impossible.

As soon as we got into the large suit that would be called home for the next while, Billie Joe threw his suitcases onto the ground and collapsed onto the large couch. He moaned loudly into the arm of it while Sydney rolled her eyes and brought her suitcases into the room that she would call her own.

I walked past Billie Joe, who had already started to snore lightly and into our bedroom. When I had re-entered the part of suit that Billie Joe had passed out in, as if on cue his cell phone started to vibrate on the table right next to the couch he was on while it belted out his ring tone of The Clash.

I picked it up after watching Billie Joe sleep through it ringing and looked at the screen.

New York Work.

For a moment I almost put it back down and walked away, however curiosity got the best of me and I flipped the phone open. “Hello?” I answered.

“Hi. Is Billie Joe Armstrong there?”

A wave of relief hit me and I sighed to myself after hearing a man speak. “Uh – yeah, one second.”

I pulled Billie Joe’s phone from my ear and leant down so that I was level with him. I placed a hand on the sleeping man’s arm and shook him lightly, causing him to jump and mumble incoherent words as he looked around blindly. I placed the phone close to his face as he sat up slowly and shot me a questioning look. I shrugged. “Hello?” He croaked while rubbing the stubble on his chin. He shifted his body so that I could sit next to him on the couch and abided. As soon as I sat down Billie Joe leant closer to me, pressing the side of himself that didn’t have his cell phone pressed to his ear against me as he closed his eyes slowly. “Yeah,” he mumbled, “Alright – Okay – yeah, I’ll be there – No problem, bye.”

I cocked an eyebrow watching as Billie Joe dropped his phone onto the table and sighed, going back to lean against me. “Who was that?” I asked after a moment of silence.

Billie Joe kissed the side of my neck sweetly. “A guy at Kerrang! magazine. I’ve got to do an interview about the shit in the studio and everything.”

“Today?” I asked in slight disbelief. Billie Joe nodded simply. “You didn’t tell me you scheduled an interview,” I said sharply with my eyes narrowed. “Doesn’t that pretty much kill the meaning of vacation?”

Billie Joe sighed and nodded again. “Yes, it does. But they wanted an interview so they called me and I knew we were coming to New York so I figured I’d just get it over with instead of flying out twice, y’know?”

I rolled my eyes and stood up, causing Billie Joe’s body to fall back against the couch cushion. “I don’t think we’ve ever been here together without some business related shit.”

“Come on, Joe,” Billie Joe groaned as I glared down at him. “That’s not my fault. They called and I simply accepted.”

I jutted out my jaw, a disgusted smile on my lips as I shook my head and walked to the bedroom. Billie Joe followed me in, both of us careful to keep it down because Sydney was in the same suit with us. “Well, if you need to go then go.”

“I don’t need to go until five.”

I glanced at the digital clock that had been in the suit on the table. 3:30

“Oh goody,” I snarled sarcastically.

“Joe,” Billie Joe tried softly. “Come on. We’re on a vacation.”

I snorted and whipped around to face my husband who had been standing in back of me. “No. Sydney and I are on a vacation. You’re here for god knows what.”

“At least be happy you’ve married someone who can be in an interview with a magazine,” Billie Joe spat back at me.

I laughed now. “Oh right, because you being in Kerrang! is so much better than spending time with you.” I hissed. “Yes, thank god I married someone who comes to New York with his family for summer vacation and goes off to interviews.”

“It’s only one.”

“But you’ve done this before. You always do this. You’ve even done it when you were married to Adrienne,” I snapped. “Joey used to tell me how you would do that and it would upset her.”

“What the fuck do either of you expect?” Billie Joe scowled. “This is my job. I’ve been in this long before I even knew of you.”

We both became silent and Billie Joe sighed, knowing that he had just ended the conversation, just not in the way he was hoping to. “Joe,” he started slowly.

“Forget it,” I snapped. “I’ll go out with Sydney. I know Manhattan pretty well myself.”

Billie Joe walked so that he could see my face. “Don’t stay out late. I don’t want you two out there when it’s dark.”

“Why?” I questioned sarcastically. “I’ve got a husband who’s great enough to be interviewed for a popular magazine. I should be fine.”

+++

Part of me was thankful that Billie Joe had an interview to do and I was able to be away from him with Sydney. Sydney and I had left an hour before Billie Joe had, and from the way I had known Billie Joe to be, he went to the Kerrang! interview looking just about as great as he felt after sulking for the hour he had left after I didn't bother to say goodbye.

Sydney and I could both relate on our taste of clothing. A lot of mornings I found my tank top’s gone or something of mine and every morning I knew it was Sydney.

Sydney and I had both been talking as if I had been her own age as we went through shirts. The only thing I could say that I truly loved about the city was the shopping and how pretty it actually looked at night.

Of course, it looked much prettier coming from a girl who had never seen it from a dark alleyway, unlike my own husband. He never found the city as pretty as I did at night for obvious reasons.

I looked up at Sydney slowly as her speech seemed to slow and she stumbled over a few words. A large smile was on her face as she looked over my shoulder and waved slowly, as if not sure if that she should be. I turned my head to look over my shoulder to see a kid that looked no more than fifteen, who was waving back at her.

I turned back to see Sydney blush slightly and look back down. “Long distance relationships never work, darling.”

Sydney’s head snapped up as she looked at me, her eyes wide and trying to look innocent. “What?”

I smirked. “Do you know that boy?”

Sydney shook her head slowly. “No, but he was trying to get my attention and he waved at me.”

“He’s cute,” I admitted.

Sydney grinned and then shrugged, as if trying to hide the fact that she agreed. “You think so? I mean, I don’t know. I guess he’s alright.” I laughed at my daughter who continued to stutter in front of me. She blushed once again and shrugged. “Besides,” she admitted. “Chris wouldn’t like it if I met a guy here.”

Oh no.

I caught her eye as I slowly arched an eyebrow. “And why is that?”

“You can’t tell dad.”

Then I don’t want to know.

“Uh huh...” I said slowly.

“Promise me?” Sydney asked with a hopeful grin.

Turn back now, Mandy. Do it. No secrets. You suck at keeping just one. Don’t be stupid and take on two.

“Well, if he asks about it I’m not going to lie, but otherwise I won’t,” I said with a soft smile.

You’re a fucking retard.

“Chris and I like each other.”

You’re lucky that’s all.

“Oh?” I asked.

Sydney nodded slowly. “Yeah…for uh, two weeks now.”

Well that’s silly. Sydney’s liked that kid since like…Oh.

I wanted to start laughing right then. Sydney had a boyfriend. Sydney had a boyfriend and I had to hide that from Billie Joe, also. Right now, even though Sydney was making me keep another thing from my husband I felt like this would be the best part of vacation. Why?

Because I was away from Billie Joe, and being away from Billie Joe meant not having to look at him, lie to him, or even think about him.

Sydney watched me for a while as I slowly nodded, looking back down at the clothes in front of me. “Oh—oh. I see.”

“Is it alright?” Sydney asked softly. “I mean, I’m not too young. I’m a teenager. I’ll be in high school when I return to school.”

“No, no it’s fine,” I admitted. “I'm happy for you, really. My first boyfriend was when I was younger than you.”

Sydney’s eyes went wide. “Really?”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah. His name was Steve.” I hesitated. “Don’t do anything stupid, Sydney.”

Sydney slowly arched an eyebrow as I had before. “What?” She asked, confused.

“With Chris.”

Sydney grinned widely, nodding. “I know, mom. We’re not like that.”

+++

Billie Joe had called my cell phone and left me two messages. One right before the interview, telling me to call him soon and that he would rather be with me [which I took as the apologetic sucking up] and then after, telling me not to get dinner for Sydney or myself because he had picked up Chinese.

A part of me wanted to take Sydney to dinner on purpose then so that we could return to the suit full. However, I decided not to be a total bitch and headed back to the hotel with my daughter after spending the rest of the day and evening roaming Time Square before it was completely dark out.

I wanted to go right to sleep when I had entered the hotel’s elevator with Sydney. Only, I wanted to sleep in my own secluded room. For one night I didn’t want to worry.

I felt stupid thinking that. This was my fault. I didn’t need to hide that I was on birth control pills. I could tell Billie and tell him that I didn’t think that this was the time to have a baby with him. I could tell Sydney that I truly was terrible at secrets and I’m sorry if it slips, although I would do my best to keep her life between her and I. Mother and daughter. Not mother, daughter and angry father.

Sydney and I both re-entered the suit only for the smell of Chinese food to slap us in the face, so to speak. I closed to door behind me as Sydney placed her belongings in her room while I left mine by the door. A couple of bags that were obviously filled with Chinese containers sat on the table. I looked behind them and onto the balcony that hung off of the suit to see Billie Joe leaning against the wall of it while looking over the edge as he smoked a cigarette, not aware that we had returned yet.

I hesitated for a moment before I slowly walked over to the doors and stepped onto the balcony, closing them behind me. Billie Joe’s head snapped up as he stood up more from being hunched over the side. He smiled thinly. “Hi,” he murmured after exhaling smoke.

I watched as Billie Joe took another drag and then tapped the cigarette, ashes falling from it and downwards. I smiled back at him. “Hey there.”

“Did you get my messages?” He asked softly.

I nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for picking up dinner.”

Billie Joe’s thin smile turned to a grin as we both stood together. He exhaled once more and then ran the cigarette across the side of the balcony and flicked it off, into the street. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his shorts and pulled out a pack of Pocket Listerine and put one on his tongue. I laughed. “What, breath mints aren’t your thing anymore?” I asked.

Billie Joe chuckled. “They work if I want to kiss you after about ten minutes.”

“So why do you--,”

Billie Joe slid a hand back around my neck and smiled once more, pressing his lips lovingly against my own. We pulled away while he pressed his forehead against my own. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I’m sorry for what I said. It wasn’t right. The rest of this will be just Sydney, you and I together. I love you,” he murmured.

I wrapped my arms around Billie Joes’ neck and brought us into a hug as we stood on the balcony. “It’s alright,” I smiled against his lips as we kissed once more. “I just get jealous of the magazine places,” I added playfully.

Billie Joe chuckled again, playing along. “Oh really?”

“Mmm,” I hummed, “Those nasty bastards are stealin’ my man.”

We both giggled as we stood there. “Don’t worry,” he cooed as he wrapped his arms around my waist, “They’re not nearly as sexy as you.”

“Oh really?” I cooed, sounding just as he did a few seconds earlier.

Both of our attentions were broken away from each other as we heard a tap on the doors that lead to the small balcony. Both of us blushed slightly and grinned as we saw Sydney rolling her eyes while she pulled the door open. “I’m sorry to interrupt – but I’m hungry.”

I took my hand from Billie Joes’ neck and placed it into his rough hand while he took his arms from around my waist while I lead him back inside the New York suit.

Sydney seemed immune to Jet Lag until night came. It had always been that way. As soon as it hit about ten o’clock or later she would pass out on the couch or in bed. Billie Joe and I had both been dozing off while using each other for pillows while we sat squished together in a chair. Or rather, he sat in the chair while I sat in his lap, my head resting on his chest just underneath his chin. “Joe?” He murmured.

“Hmmm?” I hummed lightly.

“Let’s go to bed, yeah?”

I nodded slowly and lifted myself off of my husband so that I was standing. I stuck out a hand to help him up and he accepted gladly. Billie Joe stumbled over to the couch where Sydney laid and smiled softly, picking up her with both arms. He carried her into her room, thankful that she was a small girl.

I stumbled to our bed, falling face first onto it as Billie Joe followed me in and gently kicked the door shut. I turned over so that I lay on my back and watched as Billie Joe stumbled over to me. I giggled as he fell on top of me and wrapped his arms around me while our legs both hung off the bed.

Please, no sex tonight.

His lips gently grazed my own as his hands caressed my waist. “I love you,” he whispered.

I smiled against his lips. “I love you, too.”

“I forgot the duct tape.”

I laughed while Billie Joe grinned, continuing to kiss me. “I guess that means no sex then?” I asked.

“Mmm…no. It just means that it won’t be quite as kinky.”

I grinned against his lips despite the fact that I was beyond annoyed.

Can we not have sex for one night?

Actually, this is your fault. If you hadn’t been a bitch to him before, you probably wouldn’t be underneath him right now.

Welcome to make-up sex.

I pulled Billie Joe closer to me despite the fact that I wanted to push him away. I wanted to be in my secluded room. But I was at least giving him what he wanted.

So that makes me a good wife?

Billie Joe’s lips ran down my neck, sucking lightly for a moment at every other kiss. He started to un-button my blouse and then moved onto my pants while I pulled off his belt off and pushed his shorts down his hips. I gasped as his teeth grazed my skin, cursing at my body for getting turned on by him while he chuckled and moved his lips back to my own to prevent any noises.

Within minutes we were both undressed and underneath the covers even though it was mid-summer.

By the time we had finished, each other’s names had become nothing but barely audible slurrs while the room temperature seemed to be an average of over a hundred. We both lay next to each other, somehow maintaining our quiet tones during the whole process of whatever you feel to call it. Making love, getting laid, sex, fucking, fun.

Billie Joe’s lips gently brushed my own, the sound of honking car horns, people, music – city sounds that were so different from the more peaceful ones at home being the only sounds through the suit with the exception of the more quieter sounds of our lips gently brushing together along with our soft and affectionate murmurs.

That makes me a good wife.

I am a good wife. I would never hurt my husband.

…You keep telling yourself that, darling.