Never Truly Home
Not good enough
It was 12:15pm on the 6th of June, a cold night seeing as it was still only the beginning of winter. She had her jacket bunched around her and her shoulders hunched against the cold though it still managed to penetrate her body.
Alone. That was how she liked it, no parents to yell at her, no friends to tease her, no bullies to throw food at her, no one to see her, no one to judge her.
She rounded the corner almost tripping in the dark, although the area was well populated there was no street lights in this part of town.
Dark. Just how she liked it, no one to frown at her clothes, no whispers of ‘emo’ following her, no one to see her, no one to judge her.
The cold was starting to make her fingers hurt despite the gloves that she wore, everyone always told her fingerless gloves were pointless. They didn’t know she only needed them to cover her wrists.
She had been out babysitting that night, I know right what sort of person would leave their children alone with a girl that self harms?
But it wasn’t like that, she didn’t flash it around to be part of the latest ‘emo’ trend, when people yelled at her to ‘go cut your wrists’ she didn’t retaliate, she kept walking and always took it without a word.
That’s one of the first things they tell you in therapy you know, don’t bottle up your emotions, don’t keep things inside. well she didn’t keep it inside she let her emotions out, just not in the way they meant her too.
So what if she did self harm, it helped her, she was a good person and this helped her stay that way through everythingone that tried to bring her down.
You see apparently coming 6th out of 180 in English wasn’t good enough apparently getting into advanced extension maths wasn’t good enough and apparently doing alter serving for 5 years and getting a job to help pay for the clothes, books and CD’s she wanted wasn’t good enough.
Nope she wasn’t good enough for her parents, she didn’t study hard enough and was too anti-social, she wasn’t good enough.
Did it really matter how she dressed or what music she liked, we all laugh at overly stereotypical movies… but they are always based on real life.
Yes, she liked My chemical Romance, yes she owned a pair of black jeans, yes she liked to listen to her IPod.
Did she wear eyeliner? Did she mope about and talk about being depressed?
No. Did she get called ‘emo’? Did she get teased day in, day out about cutting? Did she get food thrown at her despite never harming anyone else?
Yes, the girl who people leave there children with, who has a good job, who works hard to get good grades and always shows a smiling face and a listening ear to her friends.
She is the girl you ridicule, she is the girl you force to hide her true self and as she reached her drive way and walked through the door, she was never truly home…
Alone. That was how she liked it, no parents to yell at her, no friends to tease her, no bullies to throw food at her, no one to see her, no one to judge her.
She rounded the corner almost tripping in the dark, although the area was well populated there was no street lights in this part of town.
Dark. Just how she liked it, no one to frown at her clothes, no whispers of ‘emo’ following her, no one to see her, no one to judge her.
The cold was starting to make her fingers hurt despite the gloves that she wore, everyone always told her fingerless gloves were pointless. They didn’t know she only needed them to cover her wrists.
She had been out babysitting that night, I know right what sort of person would leave their children alone with a girl that self harms?
But it wasn’t like that, she didn’t flash it around to be part of the latest ‘emo’ trend, when people yelled at her to ‘go cut your wrists’ she didn’t retaliate, she kept walking and always took it without a word.
That’s one of the first things they tell you in therapy you know, don’t bottle up your emotions, don’t keep things inside. well she didn’t keep it inside she let her emotions out, just not in the way they meant her too.
So what if she did self harm, it helped her, she was a good person and this helped her stay that way through everythingone that tried to bring her down.
You see apparently coming 6th out of 180 in English wasn’t good enough apparently getting into advanced extension maths wasn’t good enough and apparently doing alter serving for 5 years and getting a job to help pay for the clothes, books and CD’s she wanted wasn’t good enough.
Nope she wasn’t good enough for her parents, she didn’t study hard enough and was too anti-social, she wasn’t good enough.
Did it really matter how she dressed or what music she liked, we all laugh at overly stereotypical movies… but they are always based on real life.
Yes, she liked My chemical Romance, yes she owned a pair of black jeans, yes she liked to listen to her IPod.
Did she wear eyeliner? Did she mope about and talk about being depressed?
No. Did she get called ‘emo’? Did she get teased day in, day out about cutting? Did she get food thrown at her despite never harming anyone else?
Yes, the girl who people leave there children with, who has a good job, who works hard to get good grades and always shows a smiling face and a listening ear to her friends.
She is the girl you ridicule, she is the girl you force to hide her true self and as she reached her drive way and walked through the door, she was never truly home…