Status: No longer in Uni because its summer so yaaaaaay for more updates!
Snow
4.
The night was sleepless. Thoughts of home getting confused and messed up making facts distort so my mind would be dragged backwards through a deep, sickening ache. Sometimes I worry that I worry too much. I over think and that usually sends my brain into overdrive and I struggle to put the brakes on. I lay in my dusty old bed, getting increasingly pissed off with myself for thinking myself into not sleeping. I felt uncomfortable in my new surroundings despite the family’s efforts to ensure that I felt at home. It didn’t help that the last 24 hours replayed unforgivingly in my head. Every word, every detail as it was in its real time form. From the argument to the frantic packing of my belongings on to the envelope, the map, the sorry looks.
I sat upright.
The envelope.
My eyes made to search the darkness and focus on the white almost glow-in-the-dark envelope. I bolted out of bed and across the room, snatching the envelope and backing towards the chair, knocking over a suitcase before dropping in the chair, never taking an eye from the object in my hands. After a few minutes of debating whether I wanted to open it or not, I pulled out the paper inside.
Sadie,
I’m sorry this had to happen, I really am. I want you to know that your Dad has had this planned since you were very young. I never thought you would push him this far into allowing him to force you away. He has done it because he loves you. You will leave the house a better person and in the meantime, you will be safer. I hate to have to put it like this but you no longer belong with us and it hurts.
I know how confused you must be right now but I don’t have the heart to explain any of this. It will all become clear soon if you cooperate and be a good girl. Look after Kai, I understand that he is perfect for you.
I love you.
Mum.
Drip; thats the sound of the tear that ruined the page as I softly wailed and tried to comfort myself. I felt so much I didn’t know where to start. It seemed that my eyes had decided that crying was an excellent start as the tears began to fall thick and fast. My Mum loves me. I never had that impression before now.
There was a quiet tap at the door which creaked painfully as a couple of fingers and a nose poking out of dirty blonde hair creeped around the door.
“Sadie?” whispered Kai as he slowly let himself in. “I thought I heard you crying, whats up?” A welcome intruder. The more I saw of Kai, the more I got attached to him. I knew that if I tried to explain, I’d just get more upset so I just thrusted the letter along with its envelope in his direction as I sniffled and caught my tears with my spare hand. He took them and ushered me up from my seat which he jumped in and tugged me onto his lap by my hips. There was no objection to that on my part. I heard the rattle as he adjusted the paper to read and felt a strange nervousness wash over me.
After what felt like an hour but I could place a bet on it being more like five minutes, Kai spoke. His whispery yet gravelly voice almost startled me before I realized that it was full of warm humor.
“Even your Mums suggesting we’d be good together!” he chuckled. I smiled weakly through the tears in response. Then the air turned. “In all seriousness though, I think your parents have been unfair to you and although I have no idea how your Mum knows what I’m like and I certainly don’t know what all this secrecy is about but I think I want to help you find out whats going on here. Would you like that?”
I nodded, glad I had someone on my side. That person being Kai was getting to mean more to me. He rubbed my arm sympathetically in response and I leaned into his touch, my side pressed into his warm chest and my face buried itself into his neck. We sat like that for a good twenty minutes, I enjoyed feeling Kai’s affections and I think he enjoyed me accepting it. I usually played hard to get when it came to guys and I enjoyed making them work for it. Perhaps it was the fact that I was worn out, confused and emotionally wrecked but I found it hard to not want to let Kai in with open arms. He was almost irresistible. It was then that he made me realize how close our faces were and that it would take much movement at all to steal a kiss. All with a simple yawn escaping through his lips. Tempting indeed.
I probably would have let my temptation win if I didn’t have the niggling awareness that it could land me in trouble. I had decided to pretend Kai was gay until further notice. I was a girl on a mission to find out why on Earth I was sent here first. Complicating things would be out of the question.
“Kai, thank you for everything,” I whispered through a rusty voice. “I really think I should go to bed now.” He nodded and placed and arm under my legs. He picked me up and placed me in my bed, pulling the covers over me.
“Goodnight.”
“Night.”
I sat upright.
The envelope.
My eyes made to search the darkness and focus on the white almost glow-in-the-dark envelope. I bolted out of bed and across the room, snatching the envelope and backing towards the chair, knocking over a suitcase before dropping in the chair, never taking an eye from the object in my hands. After a few minutes of debating whether I wanted to open it or not, I pulled out the paper inside.
Sadie,
I’m sorry this had to happen, I really am. I want you to know that your Dad has had this planned since you were very young. I never thought you would push him this far into allowing him to force you away. He has done it because he loves you. You will leave the house a better person and in the meantime, you will be safer. I hate to have to put it like this but you no longer belong with us and it hurts.
I know how confused you must be right now but I don’t have the heart to explain any of this. It will all become clear soon if you cooperate and be a good girl. Look after Kai, I understand that he is perfect for you.
I love you.
Mum.
Drip; thats the sound of the tear that ruined the page as I softly wailed and tried to comfort myself. I felt so much I didn’t know where to start. It seemed that my eyes had decided that crying was an excellent start as the tears began to fall thick and fast. My Mum loves me. I never had that impression before now.
There was a quiet tap at the door which creaked painfully as a couple of fingers and a nose poking out of dirty blonde hair creeped around the door.
“Sadie?” whispered Kai as he slowly let himself in. “I thought I heard you crying, whats up?” A welcome intruder. The more I saw of Kai, the more I got attached to him. I knew that if I tried to explain, I’d just get more upset so I just thrusted the letter along with its envelope in his direction as I sniffled and caught my tears with my spare hand. He took them and ushered me up from my seat which he jumped in and tugged me onto his lap by my hips. There was no objection to that on my part. I heard the rattle as he adjusted the paper to read and felt a strange nervousness wash over me.
After what felt like an hour but I could place a bet on it being more like five minutes, Kai spoke. His whispery yet gravelly voice almost startled me before I realized that it was full of warm humor.
“Even your Mums suggesting we’d be good together!” he chuckled. I smiled weakly through the tears in response. Then the air turned. “In all seriousness though, I think your parents have been unfair to you and although I have no idea how your Mum knows what I’m like and I certainly don’t know what all this secrecy is about but I think I want to help you find out whats going on here. Would you like that?”
I nodded, glad I had someone on my side. That person being Kai was getting to mean more to me. He rubbed my arm sympathetically in response and I leaned into his touch, my side pressed into his warm chest and my face buried itself into his neck. We sat like that for a good twenty minutes, I enjoyed feeling Kai’s affections and I think he enjoyed me accepting it. I usually played hard to get when it came to guys and I enjoyed making them work for it. Perhaps it was the fact that I was worn out, confused and emotionally wrecked but I found it hard to not want to let Kai in with open arms. He was almost irresistible. It was then that he made me realize how close our faces were and that it would take much movement at all to steal a kiss. All with a simple yawn escaping through his lips. Tempting indeed.
I probably would have let my temptation win if I didn’t have the niggling awareness that it could land me in trouble. I had decided to pretend Kai was gay until further notice. I was a girl on a mission to find out why on Earth I was sent here first. Complicating things would be out of the question.
“Kai, thank you for everything,” I whispered through a rusty voice. “I really think I should go to bed now.” He nodded and placed and arm under my legs. He picked me up and placed me in my bed, pulling the covers over me.
“Goodnight.”
“Night.”