Next to You

I could hear shuffling in the bus and slumped against it’s cool metal exterior, it was getting even harder to fight the exhaustion and if no one came soon, I would be forced to sleep on the floor. The footsteps grew louder and louder as the bus door flew open and a voice I didn’t recognise spoke up, poking his blonde head out of the door.

“Can I help you?” he asked before glancing down at my top. “You do know fans aren’t allowed here don’t you?” he told me looking me up and down, making me feel even more self conscious and abnormal then I normally did.

“Yes I fucking know, I used to work for you lot. Who the fuck are you anyway? And where’s Mike?” I half shouted extremely pissed.

“I could recognise that voice anywhere,” another voice said coming down the steps.

The arrogant Australian looked back and then stepped off the bus. I looked back at the other man that now stood there and a huge smile spread onto his face.

“Bev!” he exclaimed pulling me into him.

“Mikey,” I smiled wrapping my arms around his neck.

I was glad of the closeness that I had with my cousin. He was the only one who I ever clicked with in my family. I met Mike a few years back when we both were ten years old, my Dad had just passed away and he was in Liverpool for the funeral. It was amazing how much we had in common; it wasn’t something I was use to. The connection we had was too strong to die down and when I was finally allowed to fly by myself, I would spend my summer’s there watching Mike’s band grow.

“What are you-whoa, are you ok Bev, you look like you’re gonna spew.”

“I’m just really tired,” I told him, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Come on, let’s get you on the bus,” he sighed taking my hand in his.

Groggily, my legs moved allowing me to climb the steps. My whole body seemed to shut off and I kept slumping against Mike’s back. Luckily, he was fast enough to catch me and sit me on the couch, my head resting on the shoulder of someone’s whose scent I recognised, but due to my tired state, could not make out.

“I need to go and do some things with Michael,” Mike stated addressing the person. “Will you keep an eye on her?”

“Sure,” the man replied.

Mike smiled at him and bent down to kiss my forehead. I scrunched my face up in disgust and wiped it with back of my hand. Mike chuckled and stood back up before walking off the bus. I instantly kicked off my shoes and curled into the body next to me, not really caring who it was.

“Would you be more comfortable in a bunk Beverley?” the voice asked and I instantly knew who it was.

William Beckett. I didn’t really know him that well, but I knew his face well enough. He was the handsome member of the band, the one who stole the hearts of many a fangirl worldwide. I will be honest, I did have a little… crush on him but it was nothing major. He was very talkative around people who he knew he could have an articulate conversation with but as I did not come across as someone like that, we had never spoken truly.

“Probably Will, but I don’t have the energy to move,” I replied.

He laughed and shuffled underneath me, causing a growl to emit from my throat. Suddenly, I felt a hand slip underneath my knees and another under my neck. Automatically, I wrapped my arms around the neck of the owner, leaning into his body. I felt every moment as William took me into the bunk area and placed me on a bunk.

“Do not fall out,” he said pulling the covers over me. “This is my bunk so it’s at the top.”

I nodded and sank down onto the pillow, his scent overwhelmed my nostrils and I had to refrain from smiling. He always did smell wonderful. The bunk curtain closed and I was engulfed in darkness as my eyes drooped once again.

I awoke later to the sound of voices and the rumble of the bus moving. I shot up in the bunk and banged my head against the roof of the bunk. “Fucking ell!” I screamed a bit too loudly.

In the front of the bus, I could hear the sounds of laughter and sighed before rolling out of the bunk and landing with a thud on the floor. I growled again and could hear the door open. I looked up to see William holding his hand out. I took it in a heartbeat and allowed him to pull me up.

“I thought I told you not to fall out,” he said a smile tugging at his lips.

“Well the knockin on me coggin must have made me forget,” I shrugged.

“What?” he asked amused.

“Nothing,” I sighed rolling my eyes. “Now, where is my darling cousin?”

“In the front,” William gestured nodding his head in the direction.

I smiled in thanks and walked past him towards the front of bus. All eyes were on me as I walked in, falling on the seat next to Mike. Sisky looked at me surprised and held his arms open. I shook my head and put my feet up on Mike’s legs, lying back on the seat which I was sure William had occupied just seconds earlier.

“Ough,” I grunted as I felt the wind be knocked out of me as a force sat on my chest.

“That’s what you get for refusing me hugs,” Sisky replied.

“Get off me lard arse,” I grumbled turning over so he fell onto the floor.

“You’re an evil bitch do you know that?” he stated attempting to frown but not being able to.

I let out a chuckle and sat up wrapping my arms around him. He returned the embrace eagerly, only parting when he heard footsteps walk into the room. I looked up and saw William standing in the doorway, watching Sisky and I closely. A smile formed on his face as our eyes met and I instantly returned it.

“Am I in your seat?” I asked as Sisky stood up, walking over to the opposite couch, sitting in between arrogant Aussie and Butcher.

“No, it’s fine, I’m quite happy here,” he smiled crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the now closed door.

“So Bev,” Butcher started not looking up from his sketchbook. “What brings you to the tour bus of your favourite band?”

“Oh you know, I’ve never seen past Chicago and the sun is always hotter on this side of the pond,” I shrugged picking up my bag. “Oh and I missed you guys,” I added with a shrug.

“There’s something else,” Mike stated looking at me suspiciously.

“You’re right, I erm, I bailed,” I confessed scratching the back of my head.

“You bailed?” he asked eyes wide. “You left him?”

I nodded and Mike tackled me to the couch in a brotherly hug. I giggled as kissed my cheek and pulled away smiling victoriously. I rolled my eyes at his childishness and watched him walk over to the cupboard. William moved from his spot to sit next to me and leaned it a little his face inches from my face.

“How bad was it?” he asked.

I looked at him before reaching down to my top and lifting it slightly revealing a purplish bruise that fit across the side of my hip. He reached out and gently ran his fingers over the skin, causing shivers to run down my spine. He glanced up at my face and withdrew his hand, instead reaching for my face and brushing a stray tear away with his thumb.

“Why are you crying? You’re safe now, he’ll never find you.”

For some reason, those words - spoken by a man who barely knew me - were the most comfort I had been given. I couldn’t prevent myself from edging closer to him and wrapping my arms around his skinny frame. His own thin arms, wrapped around my shoulders and held me as I breathed in his scent, a few tears escaping in the process.

“Better now?” he asked smiling.

“Yeah,” I smiled back wiping my eyes.

“Everyone left us,” he noted glancing around the room.

“How did you know?” I asked him as he stood up, walking over to the fridge.

“I heard Mike talking to you on the phone and noticed he was getting aggravated, something that never happened when Mike spoke to you. I found him in the bunks and asked. He was reluctant at first to tell me, but as you know, Mike and I share everything so he told me,” William confessed opening the two bottles of beer. “I have to admit it was hard to believe at first, that girl who used to fight Mike and win when we were teenagers, was a victim of domestic violence.”

“It’s just so… different. At first I fought back, but he was stronger, tougher and my attempts were in vain. I grew scared of him, too scared to even tell my family about it,” I sighed and took the bottle out of his hand. “It’s hard to explain,” I told him truthfully.

He nodded in understanding and put the bottle to his lips. I watched him, my eyes travelling from his face down his figure to his feet. I honestly never thought that I would find myself confessing my darkest secrets to William, but for some reason, it just felt like I was meant to, that we were meant to be able to tell each other our secrets.

“Why did we never speak before?” I asked him bringing the bottle to my lips.

“Two words, Christine Bandy,” he told me putting a finger up for each word.

“Man she hated me,” I laughed. “You still with her?”

“I-It’s complicated.”

“As in?” I asked folding my arms over the top of the couch and resting my head on them.

“I thought I loved her and I thought she was the one I wanted to spend my life with, but now, I’m not too sure. There was a time when I used to love her, when her kindness and neatness used to make me smile but now it just annoys me.”

“Why don’t you break up with her,” I suggested.

“What go home and go, “I think we should see other people, I don’t love you anymore?”” he asked scoffing.

“Maybe not like that,” I said rolling my eyes. “Sit her down and take her hands,” I told him taking his in mine. “And look up into her eyes and say. “Look Christine, I’ve been thinking and I think maybe we should see other people. I love you but, I’m not ready for a commitment. The last seven years have been some of the best I’ve ever had, but I feel guilty whenever I leave you behind when I go on tour and I don’t think that’s fair on you. You deserve someone who will always be there for you, someone who will love you more than you could even imagine. I’m sorry, but I just think this is for the best.”

“Do you think that’ll work?” he asked smiling.

“You’re the lyricst,” I smiled back.

He let out a laugh and looked down at our joined hands. I looked down myself and cleared my throat before pulling them out and tucking them under my legs.

“So shouldn’t you be at the end of tour party?” I asked.

“Yes, but I offered to keep you entertained. I didn’t really feel like going out, I was too busy trying to think of the best way to finish with Christine.”

“And now you know,” I smiled.

“Yes and now I know,” he chuckled back. “Now in your words ‘Let’s get pissed.’”