Denial

Leny's Point Of View...

I woke up the next morning to a pair of arms wrapped around me. I sat up in an instant and nearly panicked, but it was pure relief that washed over me when I looked down at Matt's sleeping face. Wait a second. Now I had to recollect my thoughts. Wasn't I with Zacky last night? Right, and then we departed and Matt must've come in sometime late last night.

"Ugh." I groaned to myself, smacking my forehead and falling back on the bed again, my head just barely missing the headboard. This is getting ridiculous. First, I cause Matt to cheat on Val and then I cheat on him. I sighed in frustration and ran my hands through my hair before turning over on my side to face my sleeping boyfriend.

How could I do this to him? He's always been here for me when I needed him and I know he always will be, and yet I do this to him. And with Zacky of all people!

And that's when another thought hit me.

How could Zacky do this to me?

He caught me at a moment of weakness. I do still love him. But he didn't have to use that as his own advantage. And then a sickening feeling grew in the pit of my stomach. He was in a bit of a drunken state last night.

"What if he doesn't even remember it?" I whispered to myself, slightly gasping at the thought. At this point, Matt was starting to get restless and I decided to keep my thoughts in my head from now on.

"Morning baby." I heard, a short while later.

"Morning sweetheart. Sleep well?"

"It feels like someone ran over my head with a Mac Truck." He groaned, holding his head. I turned back over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before getting up.

"I'll get you some Advil." I said, walking over to my bag. After a minute or two of searching, I'd been successful in my search and brought him three Advil and some water.

"Thanks hon."

"No problem." I sat down next to him on the bed.

"So, what time did you get in last night?"

"Late, I can't even remember. I think it was like almost four. All I really remember is walking in and finding you sleeping." I smiled half-heartedly at him.

"Well, I think I'm gonna shower and head down stairs." He just nodded and laid back resting his head again.

"Sorry 'bout your head babe." I leaned down and gave him a quick kiss before turning to leave. I felt disgusted with myself. For doing what I did behind Matt's back and then going on pretending like nothing happened. But I couldn't tell him! I just couldn't. I mean, no, I just couldn't. My thoughts were consuming me as I got showered and dressed and made my way down to the lobby.

Val, Tihana, Breana, Leana, Johnny, Jimmy, and Brian were all sitting around down in the lobby just talking away. Do you ever have that sick feeling that people just know something? Well I had that feeling. Had I also had a feeling that as soon as I walked in the room, all conversations would seize and all eyes would land on me. So I prepared myself for it. But as I walked in, all the chatter continued. But I noticed Brian, inparticular, giving me distinctive looks and I wasn't quite sure why. I mean I know we talked yesterday when we first got here, but why was he looking at me like that. And then it hit me. Did Zacky tell him?

I shrugged off the thought trying to play it cool although it was eating me up on the inside and tearing at my mind. I quickly walked over and took a seat next to Leana and Jimmy. I was greatly disappointed that he didn't purpose to her in Tahiti, but he said it was because he didn't even have a ring or anything and he wanted it to be absolutely perfect.

"Hey Lanes, what's up?" Jimmy greeted, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him in a hug with his free arm. I smiled.

"Not too much." I lied. I wouldn't be able to keep this to just myself for very long. I'd have to tell someone just to get the burden off of my chest if at least just a little bit.

"Yo Leny!" looked over at Johnny who was sitting in another chair.

"Yeah?"

"Come sit on Santa's lap and tell me what you want for Christmas." I couldn't help but burst into hysterics. But nonetheless, I walked over and sat down on short little Johnny's lap.

"Now, what would you like for Christmas little one?" I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Shut up." He said, already knowing what I was thinking. I laughed. "

Hmm, let me see. I want a baby doll, and a new bike with the pink and purple frilly things that come out of the handle bars, and then I want a whole bunch of new clothes and lip glosses!" I batted my eyes at him while I laced my fingers together like a little girl."

"That's way too much girlie stuff for my liking." He laughed. I laughed along with him

"Mine too actual-" I didn't finish my sentence as Zack had walked into the room. I swallowed the lump in my throat and averted my gaze quickly.

"Hey, you okay Leny?" Johnny asked, bouncing his knee slightly to get my attention.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I said, trying to pull myself together.

"Alright. If you say so."

I watched Zacky discreetly as he walked over and sat next to Brian.

That moron! Why is he sitting next to Brian?! He usually goes and sits next to Tihana!

My thoughts were screaming inside my head. I couldn't help but wonder if his blabbering drunken mouth had told more than it should've last night. To Brian, Tihana, and Lord knows who else.

What if they broke up? She doesn't act anything. Shouldn't she be glaring at me, lashing out, something? What's going on here?!

I needed to stop the thoughts that were almost literally eating up my mind. I got up from Johnny's lap and rushed from the lobby going to the restrooms, I just needed some space. I noticed Matt just entering the lobby about the tie I was leaving and he had a very confused look on his face seeing me flee like that. I ran to the stalls and pushed the heavy door open.

I held my head securely in my hands. I felt like crying. My stomach was churning, my thoughts were racing, and all I wanted to do was cry and go punch Zacky in the face for doing what he did to me. Why did he have to break me down like this?

In The Lobby...

"What happened to her?" Matt demanded. Everyone just shrugged, looking just as shocked and confused as he was. Except Zacky. He knew exactly what was wrong, and Brian suddenly had a sick feeling that he didn't wanna know what went down last night. But then again, Helena was his best friend, one of them, and he'd do anything to protect her. He filled in that spot when Matt became romantically involved with her. Now Brian needed to know what was going on, and if anything, he'd comfort her.

"Don't you lie to me guys, she was just fine fifteen minute ago before she came down here now I wanna know what went down." He demanded.

"We honestly don't know!" Johnny exclaimed, with his hands in the air.

"Wait a second, come to think of it, she did start getting all wound up when Zack walked in the room." Val murmured. Matt's glance immediately shot to her at just barely catching the words that left her mouth.

"What did you say?"

"Um-I said..She-"

"She what, Val?"

"She seemed to get worked up when Zack walked in." She said quickly. Matt's murderous glare was now focused on Zacky.

"What did you do to her?" He asked. Zack held his hands up as if to say, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I said what'd you do to her Baker? She wouldn't just run off like that for know reason." Suddenly, Val realized that she could've easily made a mistake. She was starting to put two and two together in her head and thought quickly to fix what she'd said so Matt wouldn't pound Zack into the ground. It's a good thing she was a good liar in school.

"Matt!" Vall demanded his attention back towards her. He shot his glare back her way. "Maybe she ran out because of the way their friendships been going down the drain lately. I mean, seriously, if my best friend was completely ignoring me, I'd be depressed too." He looked thoughtful for a minute.

"You better hope she's right Baker." He said.

"I'll go check on her." Val attempted to get up but Matt denied her request.

"No, I'll go check on her."

"But it's the ladies ro-"

"I don't care! She's upset and she needs to be comforted and I'd go through any circumstances for her, a bathroom door with a 'women's' sign on it isn't going to stop me." And with that he march off.

Leny's Point Of View...

I had sunk down to the floor, my arms folded over my knees, crying. I knew Matt was gonna come find me, that's just how he was. I also knew that i had know excuse and I was gonna have to tell him the truth. How do you explain to your boyfriend that you cheated on him?

Oh I'm sorry Matt. It's just, i haven't gotten over my love for him and it was a moment of weakness, so I cheated on you, can you forgive me?

I cried even harder and suddenly the door swung open and shut again. Before I knew it someone was kneeling down in front of me.

"What's wrong baby?" I heard Matt's soft voice. I just shook my head and it the other way. "Why did you run out like that? Was it Zack?" I sucked in a breath and then all breathing from my body had seized. He sighed. "Val thinks that you're depressed because of the way your friendships been going." I sighed a huge sigh and continued to cry. I thanked the Heavens for Val and made a mental note to thank her personally later. "Awe baby." He pulled me into his arms and stroked my hair.

"It's gonna be okay. Zack just thinks he playing big tough guy or something. He thinks he can have whatever he wants." Isn't that the truth. "He'll come around. He'll realize that his stubbornness isn't worth missing out on your friendship, alright?" I just nodded as he pulled me up to stand with him and he wiped away my tears. "Now calm down sweetheart, it's gonna be okay." He smiled down at me and kissed my nose then my forehead.

I smiled lightly as the door swung open again and an older woman walked in and gave us a double take before looking appalled at the scene of a man being in a women's bathroom, even to comfort his woman. But that's another thing I've always loved about him. He'd do anything for me. The woman just huffed and walked to a stall disgusted.

"It'll be alright baby, I promise you." Matt said, dropping the smirk he had from the scene of the older woman. I just nodded leaning into him and staying in his arms for awhile. The lady had done her business and left already so it was just the two of us again. "Don't be afraid to talk to me about these things alright? About anything." He said, stroking my hair and holding me close. That just made me wanna cry all over again as I nodded his chest and he placed a kiss on top of my head.

"Hey dudes, there's an old lady out here complaining about how there's a man in the ladies room with his girlfriend and how disturbing it is." Jimmy laughed as he poked his head in the door. I turned around laughed.

"Yes and now there's two men!" He laughed again,

"You better get outta here before she calls security. Plus we gotta get ready to head out if were gonna make it back to Huntington tonight. The limo's here." We both agreed emerging from the bathroom and joining everyone back in the lobby. I tried as best I could to avoid Zacky, but it was getting harder and harder by the second.

Brian's Point Of View...

I had finally got a chance to get Zack alone so that we could talk about what happened last night. He said he was going to pack up and I offered to help since I was already ready to go. Perfect opportunity.

"Okay now tell me, what happened between you to?" I asked as he closed the door behind us.

"A lot of things." He said.

"Does that mean?"

"Yes."

"So are you two like, together now?" He shook his head.

"No, I don't even know what's going on. She was so defensive at first because of Matt, and then it was like he never existed, then it's like she hates me because of him."

"Well you did, after all, cause her to cheat on him." He sighed and nodded.

"But she loves, she told me so." I nodded.

"I know she does."

"So why can't she just leave him and be with me?!"

"Matt, takes care of her, he's been there for her."

"So have I!"

"Yes but you hurt her, and she hasn't healed." He sighed and ran his hands over his face, frustrated, before looking over at me.

"Do you think I'll ever get her to be mine? I mean at this rate, I don't even think she'd except being my friend again and she was once my very best friend." I shrugged.

"I dunno man. Ya just have to see. Time will tell I guess."

"But I can't wait on time, time's catching up with me. What if she ends up falling in love with him Brian?"

"I say, do what you gotta do. Life is short. So live it, take what's yours, and have absolutely no regrets." He looked thoughtful about this.

"You're right. And I will."

A Little Later
Leny's Point Of View...

We were loading our stuff into the limo, or rather, handing it to the chauffeur and letting him load it. Just as he was loading my bags on I realized something.

"Oh shoot! Matt, I forgot one of my traveling bags up in the room."

"Oh. Well it's okay babe, I'll go and get it for you."

"Thank you baby." I said, giving him a quick kiss before he turned back to the Hotel.

"Hey, yo Matt!" Brian called.

"Can you come help me with this for a second?" I had no idea what he was talking about, because I didn't even see him doing anything, but I shrugged it off anyway.

"Uhh..."

"Yeah, go ahead. I can run up and grab it." I told him.

"Alright." he smiled. "Sorry babe."

"Don't mention it." I said, waving it off as I walked up to the Hotel doors. I made it to the elevator and pressed the ^ button and waited for an open elevator. Unfortunately, the one that opened was the one from last night, the one that I had gotten on with Zacky, the one that had broken down and gotten me in a huge mess, the one that cause me to cheat one Matt.

As I stood there for the few seconds that the doors in front of me were open, I kept seeing Zacky standing there again, drunken, but not trashed, giving me the exact same look. I blinked a couple of times and tried to make it go away. He finally faded out right before the elevator doors closed again. I sighed and pressed the button again waiting for the next elevator doors to open. I was greatly relieved when they did and they were empty.

I climbed on and waitedpatiently to get off. Just a mere few seconds later, the doors were sliding open again. But only so that I was greeted by none other than Zacky himself. It was like like a nightmare. A replay of last night only, we were in opposite positions. He climbed on the elevator and I tried to brush past him as quickly as possible to get off, but he caught my wrist and swung me back around so that we were face to face and I was still in the elevator with him as the door were closing.

"Let go of me." I growled in a low, angry voice.

"I don't have to."

"Yes you do." I fought to wrench my wrist away, but my struggle wasn't working too well against someone much stronger than me. I guess we must've forgotten that we were in the present time and the elevator was working fine and not broken down because we didn't seem to notice the doors open again or the man standing in front of us in a business suit eying us oddly. He cleared his throat and we took notice of him for the first time.

"Lady, is this man bothering you? Cause I can get security for you." I smiled.

"Thank you, but no. He was just leaving, and so was I." I said, walking past him and towards the room with Zack in tow. I rolled my eyes. I wanted away from him but I didn't want legal action involved. There was no sense in taking it that far. I felt him grab my wrist and swing me around once again just as I had almost made it there.

"What do you want?!" I nearly shouted at him. But when I received a look from the 'maid' I lowered my voice quickly.

"To talk to you."

"That's what you said last night."

"You love me Helena and you can't deny it."

"I've done a pretty good job of it so far."

"Not last night." I glared at him, and if looks could kill, he wouldn't be in good shape.

"Don't act like you didn't miss me or that I don't have some sort of effect on you." He said, pulling me into his arms. I immediately became disgusted and aware of what was happening.

"Matt's waiting for me." I said, trying to push him away.

"That's why you ran away in the lobby. You couldn't take it when I walked in." He continued on.

"Let me go." I struggled against him again.

"Like you try to so easily let your feelings go?" He taunted.

"Leave me alone!"

"What if I don't want to?"

"I'll scream."

"No you won't."

"Want a bet?"

"I'm not a murderer for the Lord's sake Leny, infact, I'm you're best friend. You love me." He was killing me.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked, helpless now.

"Because it's true, Leny. You do love me." He kissed my cheek catching the corner of my mouth before smiling wide, proud of himself. "Better hurry. Matt's waiting." He said, letting go of me and walking away. He left me standing there stunned, confused, sick, and disgusted.

Why does he have to do this to me?