Baby, I'm Just a Pansy
Chapter 1
Parenthood.
Something I never really thought I'd be cut out for. But alas, after a few years of marriage Gerard and I began to feel parental urges.
So, as easy as it is to get a baby these days, we got in touch with a few people who put us in touch with a few more people who put us in touch with a teenage mother who needed rent money, and nine months later we had two beautiful baby boys.
Fortunately, we were able to be present at the birth of our children, as we had gotten to know the mother a few months prier. She had the final say on who would be adopting her babies, and as far as she saw it, we had no good competition. What can I say, we're natural charmers.
Watching those tiny bundles of life be born was the most amazing (not to mention gross) thing I have ever seen. The sound of their cries filled me with emotion I never even knew I had, and all of a sudden I felt the strong urge to protect these two tiny humans with every fiber of my being.
She took one look at her children and nodded, but nothing more. It stunned me how easily she asked for the money and then left only a few hours after giving birth. She didn't even look back to say goodbye. I would have protested more, but the babies were safer and better off with us. She's expressed from the start her life didn't involve children, and never would.
So we took home our sons, Jacob and Joshua.
Of course we no longer lived in that tiny apartment, but in an even bigger one, on the Upper East Side. It was further away from Gerard's gallery, which he now owned. I had previously been working at the gallery with Gerard, but took time off to be at home with the babies. Yes, how very desperate housewives of me, I know. But Gerard needed to keep working in order for us to sustain the life style we were accustomed to. We weren't rich just, well off. The gallery was popular and Gerard was, and still is, extremely talented.
He was also still so fucking beautiful. Time had done him well. His face was mature, not old, and his personality hadn't changed a bit. He was still fun, loving, caring, hard working and gave the most fantastic blow jobs known to man.
And of course we still had Pansy. Our original baby. He was still so full of life, just like when we first got him. He hardly left my side until the babies were born, and then he never left theirs. He even moved his own bed to outside their bedroom door, and would jolt awake at any slight movement in the house. Gerard and I would often joke and call him security.
The first few months of the twin's lives were so hectic, and took a lot out of all of us. I was getting very stressed out being at home all the time and Gerard was getting stressed out with being at work all day and then coming home to me playing the nagging wife. There were moments when I thought I wasn't cut out for this parent business and maybe I was never meant to have this much responsibility.
It wasn't until they were about four months old I truly felt like a parent. Gerard was asleep; he had an early start in the morning. It was about two in the morning, and Josh had woken up. Luckily Jacob was still asleep. We had learnt from an early start that kid was able to sleep through anything, much like Gerard, which is why I was currently the one yawning and sitting by Josh's crib. My fingertips fluttered over his silk like skin, skimming his eyelids as I cooed and shushed him softly.
And then, he smiled. A real fucking person smile, gums and all. My lips twitched and then stretched in to a huge grin. He grabbed my wandering index finger, fitting it in to his whole hand. He tugged it to his mouth and began suckling on it, still smiling around the digit.
And then it hit me.
I was a father.
An over whelming feeling ambushed my senses, and all of a sudden, I felt like crying out of pure joy. This person, this tiny little person was depending on me. He needed me more than anyone else ever had done before. I began to realize just how much I loved this person and the other tiny human in the crib across the room. I loved them more than anything else in the world. Of course I loved Gerard, but that was a different love. If everything else in my world were to fall, these two little miracles would still be here; still needing me and I would love them no matter what.
Josh fell asleep a few moments later, still with my finger in his mouth. I smiled, brought my finger from his mouth and kissed it, and then pressed it to the tip of his nose. I took in a deep breath and nodded to myself.
"Goodnight angel" I whispered
I exited the room quietly and crept back in to my own. Pansy looked up as I stepped out in to the hallway, but rested once more as I disappeared in to mine and Gerard's room. I slipped carefully back in to bed with the still seemingly sleeping Gerard. However, as my body hit the mattress he turned around and snuggled in to my side. Nuzzling his head in to my neck he yawned.
"Josh?"
I nodded lazily "Yeah" I sighed "He's asleep now"
"Good" Gerard mumbled.
There was more silence as I watched Gerard's form gently rise and fall in time with my breathing and his own. "Josh smiled" I said softly, adding a moment later "For the first time"
Gerard raised his head a little, looking directly at me. He was grinning "Really?"
"Yeah" I replied, now infected with Gerard's expression "He was just looking at me, and then he smiled, like really smiled"
I could see light dancing in Gerard's tired eyes "Well, your face makes me smile too. So I don't blame him" And he kissed my lips softly.
Running my fingers through his short silk like hair and gazed in to his eyes again. "Hey Gee"
"Mm?"
"We're parents" I explained
He sighed and laid his head on my chest again. "Yeah" He drawled "But think about them" His eyes glanced up at me as I cocked my head to the side in confusion "They're our kids!"
I chuckled softly and closed my eyes, mumbling "Poor bastards"
Something I never really thought I'd be cut out for. But alas, after a few years of marriage Gerard and I began to feel parental urges.
So, as easy as it is to get a baby these days, we got in touch with a few people who put us in touch with a few more people who put us in touch with a teenage mother who needed rent money, and nine months later we had two beautiful baby boys.
Fortunately, we were able to be present at the birth of our children, as we had gotten to know the mother a few months prier. She had the final say on who would be adopting her babies, and as far as she saw it, we had no good competition. What can I say, we're natural charmers.
Watching those tiny bundles of life be born was the most amazing (not to mention gross) thing I have ever seen. The sound of their cries filled me with emotion I never even knew I had, and all of a sudden I felt the strong urge to protect these two tiny humans with every fiber of my being.
She took one look at her children and nodded, but nothing more. It stunned me how easily she asked for the money and then left only a few hours after giving birth. She didn't even look back to say goodbye. I would have protested more, but the babies were safer and better off with us. She's expressed from the start her life didn't involve children, and never would.
So we took home our sons, Jacob and Joshua.
Of course we no longer lived in that tiny apartment, but in an even bigger one, on the Upper East Side. It was further away from Gerard's gallery, which he now owned. I had previously been working at the gallery with Gerard, but took time off to be at home with the babies. Yes, how very desperate housewives of me, I know. But Gerard needed to keep working in order for us to sustain the life style we were accustomed to. We weren't rich just, well off. The gallery was popular and Gerard was, and still is, extremely talented.
He was also still so fucking beautiful. Time had done him well. His face was mature, not old, and his personality hadn't changed a bit. He was still fun, loving, caring, hard working and gave the most fantastic blow jobs known to man.
And of course we still had Pansy. Our original baby. He was still so full of life, just like when we first got him. He hardly left my side until the babies were born, and then he never left theirs. He even moved his own bed to outside their bedroom door, and would jolt awake at any slight movement in the house. Gerard and I would often joke and call him security.
The first few months of the twin's lives were so hectic, and took a lot out of all of us. I was getting very stressed out being at home all the time and Gerard was getting stressed out with being at work all day and then coming home to me playing the nagging wife. There were moments when I thought I wasn't cut out for this parent business and maybe I was never meant to have this much responsibility.
It wasn't until they were about four months old I truly felt like a parent. Gerard was asleep; he had an early start in the morning. It was about two in the morning, and Josh had woken up. Luckily Jacob was still asleep. We had learnt from an early start that kid was able to sleep through anything, much like Gerard, which is why I was currently the one yawning and sitting by Josh's crib. My fingertips fluttered over his silk like skin, skimming his eyelids as I cooed and shushed him softly.
And then, he smiled. A real fucking person smile, gums and all. My lips twitched and then stretched in to a huge grin. He grabbed my wandering index finger, fitting it in to his whole hand. He tugged it to his mouth and began suckling on it, still smiling around the digit.
And then it hit me.
I was a father.
An over whelming feeling ambushed my senses, and all of a sudden, I felt like crying out of pure joy. This person, this tiny little person was depending on me. He needed me more than anyone else ever had done before. I began to realize just how much I loved this person and the other tiny human in the crib across the room. I loved them more than anything else in the world. Of course I loved Gerard, but that was a different love. If everything else in my world were to fall, these two little miracles would still be here; still needing me and I would love them no matter what.
Josh fell asleep a few moments later, still with my finger in his mouth. I smiled, brought my finger from his mouth and kissed it, and then pressed it to the tip of his nose. I took in a deep breath and nodded to myself.
"Goodnight angel" I whispered
I exited the room quietly and crept back in to my own. Pansy looked up as I stepped out in to the hallway, but rested once more as I disappeared in to mine and Gerard's room. I slipped carefully back in to bed with the still seemingly sleeping Gerard. However, as my body hit the mattress he turned around and snuggled in to my side. Nuzzling his head in to my neck he yawned.
"Josh?"
I nodded lazily "Yeah" I sighed "He's asleep now"
"Good" Gerard mumbled.
There was more silence as I watched Gerard's form gently rise and fall in time with my breathing and his own. "Josh smiled" I said softly, adding a moment later "For the first time"
Gerard raised his head a little, looking directly at me. He was grinning "Really?"
"Yeah" I replied, now infected with Gerard's expression "He was just looking at me, and then he smiled, like really smiled"
I could see light dancing in Gerard's tired eyes "Well, your face makes me smile too. So I don't blame him" And he kissed my lips softly.
Running my fingers through his short silk like hair and gazed in to his eyes again. "Hey Gee"
"Mm?"
"We're parents" I explained
He sighed and laid his head on my chest again. "Yeah" He drawled "But think about them" His eyes glanced up at me as I cocked my head to the side in confusion "They're our kids!"
I chuckled softly and closed my eyes, mumbling "Poor bastards"