Discovering the Past

So the next couple of days, I spent it with Michael. I showed him New York City.
He told me more things about his mom and his uncle. About how Gerard helped Mikey to overcome Alicia’s death. Just talking about our lives and what we want.
He was a really smart kid and was into comic books like me.
He even played me his bass and we spent the days walking and laughing and drinking coffee.
I was so glad to have him, and didn’t want to think about him returning to LA.

In just a couple of days he knew me more than any other friend I ever had. And I already knew how to read his eyes and how many smiles he had.
We made sense. He understood me in a weird way. It’s hard to explain how you can connect with a person on different levels.
With him, I could forget that my biological father never wanted me; with him it was less painful to think about that.

At home things were weird; it was like my mom had forgotten the whole business. She silently took Frank’s guitar and put it in the attic. I didn’t say anything because I just didn’t care. The videos had been hidden in my closet, but I put them in the attic too.

But, I was kind of scared also. He was going to leave eventually.
The sweet smell of coffee made me remember where I was. Starbucks.
“Earth to Rose…”
“Sorry,” I smiled at Michael, “I was thinking.”
“About what?”
“Everything.”
“You’re nervous about meeting my uncle,” I was so amazed how he could read me so easily. “Forget about it, he’s a nice dude,”
“I know, it’s just…”
“Don’t think about it…” He fixed his glasses. “Vampires or werewolves?” Changing the subject radically, he fixed his glasses again.
He did this a lot, his glasses kept falling to the end of his nose and he put them back again in their place. It was cute but after seeing it like for the 20000Th time, it was starting to get me out of nerves.
“Wait, I have to do this,”
I stretched my arm towards his face and took his glasses off, putting them on the table. He froze when I took his glasses away.
“I’m blind.”
“If you are not going to fix those, better take them off.” I ignore his comment.
“There, see, your eyes are pretty,” I said, more to me than to him, I notice his cheek went a little pink.
“But now I’m blind.”
“Vampires,” I said smiling.
“Ah?”
“Vampires, the question you asked me…”
“Oh yeah,” He shook his head, like if he was trying to wake up. “I don’t know, werewolves are cool, and they don’t lose their soul.”
“Vampires are the best. Immortality, power, and the blood!”
His laugh was like a ray of sunshine directly into my broken heart.
“Okay my turn.”
“Tell me something you don’t want to do, right now.”
He looked at his coffee.
“GoingbacktoLA” So fast and soft that I didn’t hear it.
“What?”
“Leaving. I don’t want to go back to LA.”
“Really?” I tried to hide the excitement in my voice.
“I mean …Why? That’s your home.”
“Yeah I guess it’s kind of fine. But here is cool, and Uncle Gerard is here. And…”
“But your friends are in LA…”
“They not really my friends…it’s hard to know who your friends are when you are Mikey Way’s Son, you know? And...”
“And…. “He was in front of me in the little table, our eyes were locked, his eyes free of glasses were so beautiful, matched with his hair color, and the shape of his face was just perfect.
He started to get closer to me and I did too.
“And…I”
“Yes..?” We were whispering. Inches apart, his nose almost touching mine. Biting his lower lip he was looking me directly in my eyes. And then it happened.

I freaked out and sat back in the chair. SHIT!
He fell back on the chair clearly disappointed. My cell phone rang...
“Yes mom, I’m going back for lunch…..yeah. Bye.”
“We better go,” Michael stood and put some money on the table. I just followed him in silence.

The whole ride home was like this, not a word. I didn’t know if he was nervous or just ashamed. Or even worse mad. I was afraid; I had never been in a relationship, like serious before. And he was going to leave, I didn’t want to lose him, it would be worst if we started to hang out, It would hurt more.

He parked in front of my house.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 5,” He didn’t look at me.
“Okay,” I stood up from the car. I was a coward. A chicken. Like my father. I hate it so much. No. I was not going to be like him.
“What else did you want to say?”
“Sorry?”
“In the coffee shop, you said New York was cool, and your uncle was here and what else…”
He took of his glasses and looked at me.
“I thought it was obvious,” I felt my face redden.
His look was so intense that I thought I’d melt.
I felt ashamed for my stupid earlier behavior.
“Why?” My voice was so tiny little a little mouse speaking.
“Why? Are you kidding me? You’re the coolest girl I’ve ever met.”
I was? “I am?”
“You’re sincere, funny, real,” He put his hand softly on my cheek and started to get closer. I assumed that hand was a useful method of keeping me in that position. It was working, I felt his hand burning and my whole body was reacting at that simple touch.
“I want to stay because you’re here, because you made me feel real.”
I didn’t react in the first seconds until I realized he was kissing me. I placed my arm around his neck and he took it as a cue to deepen the kiss. I felt like everything was in the right place. It was an amazing feeling. The most amazing feeling.

When we broke apart we both were smiling.
“So I´ll see you tomorrow.”
I just nodded. I don’t know how I managed to get to my door, I felt the ground spinning and the whole world was going round.

Stupid butterflies in my stomach.

-----

That day, my mom was nervous, She didn’t want me to go out with that boy, as she called Michael.
“He seems familiar to me.”
I kept going through my room, trying to find my black eyeliner. My mom standing by the door.
“Is something wrong?” I found it! Michael would arrive in 5 minutes.
“Where did you meet him?”
Too many questions, I wasn’t going to tell her.
“He’s just a boy mom,” My cell phone rang, I got a text message.
Outside your house. Scared of Grandmother. Come out .Pliz. xoxoxo
“Don´t worry mom,” I gave her a quick hug and ran downstairs.

Michael drove to Gerard’s place. It was in Manhattan. The apartment was so big and fancy.
“Cool.” He parked the car in front of the fancy place.
“Yeah.” We got out of the car. I was so nervous, at least Michael was there. He grabbed my hand and squeezed softly, it was like an, I´m here.
He knocked at the door.
“Coming!” A voice came from the other side. “Ouch shit!” Michael looked at me and smiled.
“Shit!” The door opened to reveal a man.
“Oh, hi Jr.”
“Hi Uncle Gee. Are you okay?”
“Yeah the fucking chair was in my fucking way.” He smirked
“C´mon in.”
His face was gentle. Gerard was like I imagined. Chubby, pale, messy and long hair. Big sunglasses. Wearing black, and even though he was older now and had some gray hairs he was still sexy in his unique way.
“How was Jersey?”
“Nice,” He passed his hand thought his hair.
“Oh. Hi there,” He noticed me entering too, his voice was funny, hadn’t changed much, like the high and strange voice from the videos.
“She’s my friend, Rosie.”
Gerard looked at me and stood still.
“Sure,” He pretended a smile but keep his eyes on me, analyzing me.
“Hi, I´m Gerard” We shake hands.
“Nice too meet you,” I said very politely.
“Do I know you?” He asked me, taking off his glasses. His eyes remained the same; I looked at him and remembered the postcards, the videos.

He smiled at me,
“You look familiar.”
But I didn’t felt sorry for Frank anymore. I didn’t want it to feel bad for Frank. Not anymore. I didn’t want to feel anything for him.

Search and Destroy.
That was my goal.