Discovering the Past

“I don’t think so,” He smiled at me and his eyes shined for a minute.
“You remind me of someone I knew…I must be crazy.” He shook his head.
Michael laughed nervously. We went to the living room area. A song was playing in the background.
“Misfits?” I recognized inmediately
“That’s right. You like them?” He gave me a grin.
“Yeah, they rock.”
Gerard looked at Jr. and smiled in a goofy way. “I already like her.”
Jr. laughed and his face went a little red. Gerard’s smile went wider at this nephew reaction.
“Please sit.”
“So what can I do for you my dearest nephew?”
“Well….”
He started slowly…
“Yeees?” He still looked at me from time to time.
I looked at him.
“I’m Rosie.”
“Yeah I know that honey,”
“My mother’s name is Molly, Molly McKay?”
Michael looked at me in disbelief; we had agreed we’d stand by the nephew story. But I was bored of the bullshit, no more lies.

Gerard looked like he had forgotten how to breathe for a couple of minutes. His face changed completely.
“She and Frank….”
“I know who she is…..” his voice was cold. I felt Jr. tense next to me.
He looked at me deeply in the eyes…..
“How…?”
“She got pregnant by Frank...”
“It can’t be…” He now looked scared.
“Well it is. I’m the fucking daughter of Frank fucking Iero!”
Gerard stood there looking at me like if he had seen a ghost
“I need to find him, do you know where I can find him?”
He fixed his hair nervously.
“No…”
“Uncle, please, do you know where Frank is?”
“You can’t be his daughter,” Gerard was in some kind of trance.
“It can…”
“You knew about me!!!?”
I was staring to despair...
“You knew?” Michael asked hurt.
“Yeah… He told me…but...”
“Oh he told you how he freaked out? How he abandoned my mother and didn’t care a shit about me!? Did he tell you that?”
“Kind of... but...”
“What?!” I yelled.
I was going crazy. He doubt for a moment. His eyes were fixed in me. He was scared. Gerard took a deep breath.
“That child died.”
“What??!” Mikey and I screamed.

......

“What the fuck are you doing here?”Gerard asked furious
“I wanted to talk to you.” Frank aid in a small voice
“We have nothing to talk about.”
“I miss you………. I miss you Gerard.” Frank’s voice sounded like a whisper. Gerard just crossed his arms and stood in silence.
“Damn it, we were friends for almost 8 years, at least remember that.”
“Ashuuuuuuu.” A sneeze came from the kitchen door.
“I know you’re there!” Gerard screamed “Let’s go to the basement.” He said to Frank. He just nodded.
They went downstairs. Gerard closed the door.

“Listen Frank…”
Frank sat on the floor and crossed his legs. He looked at the floor, playing with his shoe. When Gerard turned around he couldn’t help lower his voice and not sound angry. Frank looked little a little kid whose dog had died.
“Frank.”
“I screwed up everything, didn’t I?”
He kept looking down. Gerard remained silent, his arm crossed over his chest.
“I screwed us, I screwed the band. I screwed Jamia. I….” He just closed his eyes.
“I miss the band…”
“There is nothing you can do about it, anyway; everyone is following a different path.”
“What about us?”
“Frank. You’re married, you fucking married her.”
He looked at Gerard. “What if I wasn’t anymore…?”
“What?”
“What if I wasn’t married? Will that change anything...?”
“No...I...” He thought for a second. “That’s not the point.”
“We got divorced Gerard.” The pale man didn’t say anything, but his breath started to go faster.
“After we broke up, I thought I could love her, like she deserved,”
“But I couldn’t. I still was in love with you. I missed you, everything about you. And she saw that…She was the one that asked for the divorce actually,” Frank smiled sadly. Gerard noticed that he had lost weight and had big bags under his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Gerard said.
“Have you missed me?”
Gerard looked down. He could not answer that. He had sworn not to forget Frank Iero. Start from Zero on his own
“At least a little…?” Frank’s voice was tiny and pleading.
“No.”
“Liar,” Frank smirked. “I know when you lie you always look to the right, and do that thing with your nose….”
“Listen Frank…It´s over okay….over. Just get that.”
“I’m so sorry for what I did. But I have regretted it every day-”
“Regret does not work here.”
“I lost you for being an asshole. I thought…” Frank stood up.
“What?!”
“I thought that marrying Jamia was the right thing. I was a coward. A fucking coward.”
“Yes you were.”
“Everything has been so messed up…”
“I lost you, and thought that I’d be fine. But I wasn’t; everyday was a torture, and when the band broke up, because of me…”
Gerard stood there in silence. “Then I not only hurt you but Jamia also, the baby,”
“What baby?”

He told him about Molly being pregnant. About how he found out.
“I was a coward again. I freaked out.” Gerard couldn’t help felt sorry for him.
“So one day I was walking into a mall, and I pass by a children’s store,” Frank smiled sadly again.
“I saw a small t-shirt that said “I 3> New Jersey.” I just could help it and I bought it. Then I understood. I was a dad somewhere. I remembered my own Dad. What my life would have been without him.”
“So I looked for her. I hired a private investigator, and he found her.”
Gerard was listening with attention now.
“But it was too late.”
“What do you mean?”
“She told me the baby had died during the delivery.”