Discovering the Past
The good ones, like you
After the guys left my house, after 2 am., I sat alone in my living room with a cup of coffee.
Frank Iero.
Why did that name have to come back up?
After all those years, fighting, healing, forgetting, forgiving.
*There are loves that go always with the years.
There are loves that their flame still alive.
And there are good loves like you.*
I fell in love once in my life. I had loved before and after, but never in the same way.
It was like if my ability to love in the right way died when he left me, when I left him, when we gave up.
I had loved him with all my soul and body, thinking it was going to be forever.
Because when he was with me, everything was possible, everything was easy and beautiful.
Together we could beat anything and anyone.
But everything felt down.
Why?
Sometimes I didn’t remember why, everything started so perfect, by surprise.
*There are loves that you plant and grow.
There are loves that end in drought
The ones that bring disbelief into your life.
And there are good loves like you.
The world was right with him in my arms, We talked of the future, but as it started it ended. It ended leaving a bitter taste*
*My love, my sweet love, my delirium.
Don´t expect that I´ll forgive you just like this
That your love was light, when everything was darkness*
.....
August 27TH, 2007. Project REv
I was lying on my bed looking at the ceiling thinking of Frank. I was scared of my latest feelings about him.
Sure he was my friend, and I did love him, but lately it was more, so much more than that.
After Jamia and he broke up, he was acting strange, and that girl appeared from nowhere. I was jealous.
What was he doing with that girl? She was much younger, a fan actually.
I didn´t like her, she was always making out with Frank in my face. Following him everywhere, laughing of stupidities.
They always fight because of me, because of my behavior with Frankie.
She was jealous of our act on stage. That night I had kissed Frank during a performance. I caught him by surprise, but the weird thing is that kissed back.
That night the screams where so loud in the room next to mine, Frank´s room.
I heard a glass breaking and a door being shut violently.
A couple of curses. I recognized Frank angry voice.
So I waited a couple of hours, patiently.
“Frank? Are you okay?” I knocked on the door.
“Who the hell is it?” He shouted.
”I was just checking if you were okay.”
Suddenly the door opened violently. A weird looking Frank stood there.
“C´mon in!!”I entered and he closed the door.
”Are you…?”
“I´m fine…”
“You´re drunk,” I said a little amused.
“Just a… little,” He giggled.
“What happened?”
“ She dumped me!” He moved his hands like crazy.
“Can you fucking believe it, she was mad!!!!!!!!!!!”
“At me?” I asked, scared of the answer.
“AT ME DUDE!!“ He hit his chest with his hand, maybe harder than he intended.
“You kissed him back!” He imitated Molly’s voice. I smiled awkwardly.
“I´m sorry,” I sat on the edge of the bed. “It´s my fault. I´ll talk to her.”
“Nooo. No.No. It’sss okaaay…”
“No, Frank, it´s my fault. You´re happy with her, right?”
He sat next to me, I could smell beer.
“I guess,” He put his head on my shoulder and we sat like this for a moment. I enjoyed the feeling of having him close.
He giggled from nothing.
“What?” I said, laughing too, His head still on my shoulder.
He continued laughing.
“Frankie… what?” I was laughing too, his laugh was so contagious, such a happy noise.
“You´re secretly in love with him.” He imitated Molly’s voice again. He continued laughing. But I stopped.
After a few more minutes of him laughing, Frank sighed. He lifted his head a little so his mouth was at the top of my neck, his hot breath making me shiver.
“Gee?”
“Yes?” I said slowly.
“I love you.”
I smiled.
“I love you too, Frankie, you´re my best friend!”
The last part was more to myself than to Frank. His presence was so close it was disturbing. I had to remind myself two things, he was straight as a line and he was my best friend.
You don´t make out with your best friend.
You don’t imagine your friend naked.
Stop it.
“No Gerard,” He sounded more serious now.
“I do love you.”
“I know, we´re best…” He shut me up, when I felt his warm lips over my neck, he gave a soft kiss, my whole body was reacting.
I stoop up abruptly.
“I have to go, it´s late...”
It wasn´t as loud as I intended, but a shaky whisper. I felt myself going weak.
He stood up and followed me as I walked to the door. Before I could reach the handle he hugged me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist. I froze.
“Frank…”
“Pleassse, don´t go…”
“You´re drunk,” I turned to face him.
His eyes were full of lust. I could recognize that. He pushed me gently into the door and started to kiss my neck again.
I couldn´t stop him, but I was too scared to try and kiss or touch him. His hand lay on my waist as he continued kissing my neck softly.
“You’re not drunk,” He stopped the kissing and grabbed my face with his hand.
“Stop me.”
My self control went to the toilet when he kissed me on the lips, furiously, almost ripping them apart.
Frank Iero.
Why did that name have to come back up?
After all those years, fighting, healing, forgetting, forgiving.
*There are loves that go always with the years.
There are loves that their flame still alive.
And there are good loves like you.*
I fell in love once in my life. I had loved before and after, but never in the same way.
It was like if my ability to love in the right way died when he left me, when I left him, when we gave up.
I had loved him with all my soul and body, thinking it was going to be forever.
Because when he was with me, everything was possible, everything was easy and beautiful.
Together we could beat anything and anyone.
But everything felt down.
Why?
Sometimes I didn’t remember why, everything started so perfect, by surprise.
*There are loves that you plant and grow.
There are loves that end in drought
The ones that bring disbelief into your life.
And there are good loves like you.
The world was right with him in my arms, We talked of the future, but as it started it ended. It ended leaving a bitter taste*
*My love, my sweet love, my delirium.
Don´t expect that I´ll forgive you just like this
That your love was light, when everything was darkness*
.....
August 27TH, 2007. Project REv
I was lying on my bed looking at the ceiling thinking of Frank. I was scared of my latest feelings about him.
Sure he was my friend, and I did love him, but lately it was more, so much more than that.
After Jamia and he broke up, he was acting strange, and that girl appeared from nowhere. I was jealous.
What was he doing with that girl? She was much younger, a fan actually.
I didn´t like her, she was always making out with Frank in my face. Following him everywhere, laughing of stupidities.
They always fight because of me, because of my behavior with Frankie.
She was jealous of our act on stage. That night I had kissed Frank during a performance. I caught him by surprise, but the weird thing is that kissed back.
That night the screams where so loud in the room next to mine, Frank´s room.
I heard a glass breaking and a door being shut violently.
A couple of curses. I recognized Frank angry voice.
So I waited a couple of hours, patiently.
“Frank? Are you okay?” I knocked on the door.
“Who the hell is it?” He shouted.
”I was just checking if you were okay.”
Suddenly the door opened violently. A weird looking Frank stood there.
“C´mon in!!”I entered and he closed the door.
”Are you…?”
“I´m fine…”
“You´re drunk,” I said a little amused.
“Just a… little,” He giggled.
“What happened?”
“ She dumped me!” He moved his hands like crazy.
“Can you fucking believe it, she was mad!!!!!!!!!!!”
“At me?” I asked, scared of the answer.
“AT ME DUDE!!“ He hit his chest with his hand, maybe harder than he intended.
“You kissed him back!” He imitated Molly’s voice. I smiled awkwardly.
“I´m sorry,” I sat on the edge of the bed. “It´s my fault. I´ll talk to her.”
“Nooo. No.No. It’sss okaaay…”
“No, Frank, it´s my fault. You´re happy with her, right?”
He sat next to me, I could smell beer.
“I guess,” He put his head on my shoulder and we sat like this for a moment. I enjoyed the feeling of having him close.
He giggled from nothing.
“What?” I said, laughing too, His head still on my shoulder.
He continued laughing.
“Frankie… what?” I was laughing too, his laugh was so contagious, such a happy noise.
“You´re secretly in love with him.” He imitated Molly’s voice again. He continued laughing. But I stopped.
After a few more minutes of him laughing, Frank sighed. He lifted his head a little so his mouth was at the top of my neck, his hot breath making me shiver.
“Gee?”
“Yes?” I said slowly.
“I love you.”
I smiled.
“I love you too, Frankie, you´re my best friend!”
The last part was more to myself than to Frank. His presence was so close it was disturbing. I had to remind myself two things, he was straight as a line and he was my best friend.
You don´t make out with your best friend.
You don’t imagine your friend naked.
Stop it.
“No Gerard,” He sounded more serious now.
“I do love you.”
“I know, we´re best…” He shut me up, when I felt his warm lips over my neck, he gave a soft kiss, my whole body was reacting.
I stoop up abruptly.
“I have to go, it´s late...”
It wasn´t as loud as I intended, but a shaky whisper. I felt myself going weak.
He stood up and followed me as I walked to the door. Before I could reach the handle he hugged me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist. I froze.
“Frank…”
“Pleassse, don´t go…”
“You´re drunk,” I turned to face him.
His eyes were full of lust. I could recognize that. He pushed me gently into the door and started to kiss my neck again.
I couldn´t stop him, but I was too scared to try and kiss or touch him. His hand lay on my waist as he continued kissing my neck softly.
“You’re not drunk,” He stopped the kissing and grabbed my face with his hand.
“Stop me.”
My self control went to the toilet when he kissed me on the lips, furiously, almost ripping them apart.
♠ ♠ ♠
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