Discovering the Past

I was laying in bed, the ticket to USA was bough. There was no going back. In a couple of hours I’ll be flying to New York.
My feelings right then
Scared.
From head to toe.
I was scared of everything.
Of the people, of the guys, of Gerard of Rose, of Molly.
Everything.
This was not healthy for me.
But live is not healthy. In life you keep putting yourself through this un healthy situations; it´s what human usually do.
I knew that going back to NY was going to be painful, hard. Everything I´ve trying to run off all these years.
But, it was time to confront things, by now the guys in America knew that I was alive. They must be upset with me about lying and making up the whole thing.
They´d probably call me crazy, maybe I was a little crazy
I remembered how funny actually was bought my own grave.
I put my self flowers some times.

Maybe I´m a little crazy.

Sometimes I found myself talking like a different person, cause that´s what Paul became to me, another person, Frank really died in my head and Paul survived, He became something I never was before, shy, quite, Even now that Frank was coming back to live, He was only a shadow of what it was.

I remembered my day with Rose, She could bring smile to my face. I really thought that I could end loving that girl. She was easy to like, I was sure that she was easy to love also. And even if I just met her, I could already say she was very alike to Frank, to me, in many ways. Maybe the genes worked after all. Little bastards.

In order to advance you have to became a new person.

Jasper words, Gerard words.

I saw my watch it wasn´t that late. I finished packing; said goodbyes of Laurhen and Emily. They were crying and wished me good luck. I took the train to the city and before going to the airport I went to a mall. I saw my watch once more.

I still have time.

A new person.