Discovering the Past

Frank took me to a big shopping mall close to New Jersey.
“So what do you have in mind?” I asked him as we walk inside the mall, while I was putting my sunglasses on.
Frank gave me a mischievous smile as we stood in front of a store.
I should had seen it comming
“Oh no…You should ask her mother first” I took off the sun glasses and tried to look at him in a serious way.
“What’s wrong with a puppy?” He said confident standing in front of the pet shop.

Frank and dogs had a history together. He just loves them. Don´t know why really, it´s not that I hate dogs, I´m just don´t like them around me, licking everything and barking all the fucking time. It´s not my thing.
But good old Frankie just can’t live without them. There was a moment back in our MCR days when He had around 17 dogs.
Seventeen!!!!!!

“Nothing…” I sighed
“But what if Rose doesn´t like it?” Frank gave me this weird look.
“Everybody loves dogs” He said like the most normal thing in the world and it was his final statement before dragging me inside the store.
As we entered the shop, the noise of barking dogs filled my ears.
“God!” I rubbed my temples. All that noise was making me uneasy.
“Ow…looked at them!!”

Frank was practically melting looking at all the puppies, making weird baby-like noises.
Instantly, I fell like babysitting an infant. Frank could not act like an adult around dogs!!! It wasn´t in his system. T
he guy just love dogs.
“Oh, look at this one.. It´s so cute! Hi Boy!!!”
“Frank please behave, would you?!”
“Yes daddy!” He joked
“Ow! That sounded so wrong in so many levels dude!!” I covered my eyes with my hands and sighed. I raised my head just to find a seductive smirk on Frank´s lips.
“It´s not my fault that you have a kinky mind, honey”. He messed with my hair and walked to the see the rest of dogs.
For a tinny part of a second, I had the feeling that he was flirting with me. I took a deep breath, put the sun glasses back (so He won´t notice me checking at his ass) and washed the feeling over almost as fast as it came.

“Ow this one!! Look!!” He pointed to a small black dog, it didn´t had much hair, pointed eras and had a small body shape.
“Nice choice” said a woman who apparently worked on the shop. “A 5 five month old female, well behaved”
“It will be perfect for Rose” He look at me looking for support
“I don´t know Frank” I was still unsure that Molly will go for it with a dog. I mean if she liked dogs she´d have had one long ago.

“But looked at her, isn’t she pretty?”. He pointed at the dog once more. The little puppy started to lick Frank´s finger.
“I suppose…” I shrank my shoulders.
“Miss” He called the lady. “Can you take her out??”
The girl handle him the small puppy to Frank, He carried her facing him.
“Ohh Hi there” The dog started to lick Frank´s face while He giggled.
I couldn´t help but smile at the image.
“I´ll take her”
I just shocked my head and follow them to the counter.
“I need a big a ribbon now” Frank was thinking out loud. I smiled again looking at him and the dog.

He was taking out his wallet when something barked down at his feet.
“Hey buddy!”
“Mathilda, get out of here” The lady said in a nice manner. It was a small dog, seemed older than the one Frank was buying, black with white paws and white chest, it had long furry ears.
“Hi Mathilda” Frank went to the level of the dog and caressed his head; the dog looked at Frank and lay on the floor, showing her chest. Frank caressed the dog´s belly making the little one happy.
“Is she the shop pet or something?” Frank asked.
“Oh…kind of.” Said the saleswoman.
I looked at her in question.
“A woman brought Mathilda about a week ago. She said she wanted to gave her a bath, you know we work as a veterinarian also”
“Yeah” Said Frank that was still caressing the dog´s chest and rubbing her ears.
“But, she never came back”
“Oh my god! That´s awful!!!” Frank almost screamed
“Poor thing” Even I was moved.
“At first we waited and try to call, but both name and phone were fake”
“That’s a horrible thing to do” Frank stood up and arranged his belt, because of this Mathilda flinched on the floor.
“What´s wrong with her…Hey I’m not going to hurt you.” Frank went to the level of the dog again and tried to caressed her.
“She’s always like that, We believe she was beaten” Said the woman, sadness in her eyes
“She does the same thing, overtime she sees a stick or a broom. She also sleeps in corners, don´t know how to play with a ball and sometimes cry in her sleeps” The lady said very worried and sad
“That´s so sad” I looked at the small dog playing with Frank again. I don´t like dogs but I´d never hurt one.
“And nobody wants her because of that and because she´s almost a year old”

The dog was sitting on the floor looking a Frank with pleading eyes, She seemed like she was about to speak and her tail was moving eagerly.
Frank raised her from the floor, the little dog rested her head on Frank´s shoulder and lick his ear.
“I´ll take her”
“Frank..c’mon…Don´t you think two dogs it´s a little bit too much” I said taking the sunglasses off again.
“It’s not for Rose”. He remained silence for a second.”It´s for me“
I didn´t said anything back

The puppy that Frank was buying for Rose, was put into a small cage and Frank carried Mathilda in his arms; the sales woman thanked Frank for his kindness like a billion times.
We walked to the car in silence. I thought that Frank was feeling lonely that was why He took little Mathilda.

When We get to the car we put Rose´s dog in the back seat and Frank entered the car with Mathilda in his arms. I wondered how the hell He was going to drive with a licking dog in his arms. I just entered the car and closed the door.

A second after I got my answer.
“Here” He gave me Mathilda. Well, he actually just put the thing on my lap.
“Hey! “
“What?”
“What?......... This!” I showed him the dog.
He rolled his eyes. “How do you expect me to drive with Mathilda in my arms” He put his seatbelt.
“I …”
“Don´t be mean and carry her on the way”
“But..”
“What?” He started to look upset at me. I just remained silence looking at the dog that looked confused.
“Gerard?” Frank just looked at me waiting for an answer.
“What if she pees on me?” I said in a very girly way.
“She won´t do that, the lady said she´s very well trained, she only pee in gardens”
“What if she bites me?” that was even more girly.
Frank made an exasperation sound
“She won´t” He started the engine.
“At least let me put on the seatbelt” I said worried.
“Don´t be a girl”
I just looked at him worried.
“I forgot who was the girl in the relationship.” He said, cold and easy. But I felt extremely embraced with his reference of my “position” in the relationship we once had. I just make a sound

When I was ready to give him the dog to put on the belt He took off his own and reached for mine. To do this He past over me searching for the thing. Our faces were inches apart. I had to look to the side. He didn´t seemed to notice.
The sound of a click, broke my awkwardness
“There! happy princess?”
I was barely able to nod.

Mathilda spend the hole ride sat on my lap, crying. She was obviously scared.
“Why doesn´t she shut up?”
“She knows that you hate her”
“I don’t hate her, I just don’t…..”
“You’re an evil man, Gerard, evil” I just remained in silence. He was being dramatic. “Look at that face…she’s adorable”
“I don’t like dogs! Is that a crime?”
“She´s alone in this world and you gave her that attitude” He told very serious. “Typical”
“What attitude? What are you talking about. Is just a dog”
He just looked at me and rolled his eyes.
“She was beaten, she probably doesn’t trust people anymore, scare and lonely, all the people she loved it’s gone…
“C’mon! She’s not you!!” I think in exasperation
“Excuse me” Frank answered very slowly.
“Did I say that out loud?” I said nervously. I really believed that I was only thinking that.
“Yes, you did it.”
Frank just kept quiet and speed up the car. I just thanked for wearing the seatbelt.

When We arrive at my house, Frank parked in the front. And kept looking at the void.
“So…” I started, trying to making talk.
“What if… what if I see my self on her!” He exploded
“Sorry.. I..” There was nothing else I could say.
“Just shut up okay…”
“It’s just …that I think your humanizing the dog…”
He just looked at me in disgust
“Maybe I sympathize with her….Maybe I relate with her…..I feel like her….I must be her…cause you´re fucking treating her in the exactly same way you treated me”

After this, He got out the car, and went to open me the door. Undid my belt and took the dog from my arms
“Out” He commanded
I got out in silence.
“How are you going to drive to your house?” I said in a small voice when I noticed He was going back home with Mathilda in his arms.
“I’ll mange”
“Stop, being such a drama queen”
“Save it Gerard”
“I’m sorry okay!” I started to get scared for some reason, I could sense something was coming. And it wasn’t good.
“You´re going to crash” I just wanted him to went inside the house and talked.
“He though for a moment and took a deep breath.
“This whole thing was a bad idea”
“Buying a dog?”
“No” He looked at the dog for a second and then at me “Being friends again” His eyes were cold but there was something more. Pain maybe. Anger perhaps.
“It obvious that something will never change” He started the engine “I’ll see you in practice”
Before I could said anything He was gone.

I just entered to my house and left myself fell on to the couch. I was back to the same point. Loving, hurting, suffering.
As I felt the hot tears running down my cheeks, I though He was right, some things never change.