Discovering the Past

The following days went pretty much like before, I was grumpy, emotional, upset and did not want to see Michael. But it was inevitable to see him at school.

“You can´t keep avoiding me” I was taking some book out of my locker when i heard his voice right behind me.
“Wanna try?” I tell him emotionless as I closed my locker.
“C´mon” He grabbed my arm to avoid to escape form him but I shook it off. He looked at me with sad expression, I tried to relax and took a deep breath
“It is because We had sex, isn´t?” He low his voice and I looked around to see if there were anyone close.
“Listen” I took another deep breath and chill myself . “It´s not you, it´s me” The bell rang.
“Meet in the parking lot I’ll drive you home”
I just shook my head.
“Please”. I looked into his eyes, those beautiful Way´s eyes I loved and saw something that I’ve had never seen before in Michael. Desperation. I sighed.
“Okay”
“Yeah...okay! Great, in the parking lot, after school”. He smiled at me as He walked to his classroom. I just gave him a small smile.

After school was over I was a little reluctant to go and meet Jr. I started to get nervous again for no reason. I really wanted to be alone for a while. Tried to clear my head and went to the parking lot.

“I thought you´ll never show up” I was a half an hour late, I was even surprise that He waited for me that long.
“I told you I will” I said to him serious as He opened the car door for me.
After a while driving in a very awkward silence
“So are you going to tell me was wrong?”
I just remained silence.
“Because I´ve been driving myself crazy”. We were in a red light. “I feel like I’m losing you and you don´t even care to tell me why”
I just looked in the distance, I didn´t dare to say anything.
“So, I got to the conclusion that everything started the day we had ...”
“Don´t say it!!”
“See I was right, It was because of that.” He smiled sadly and when the light change kept on driving.
“Okay…” I said defeated. “You´re right! It wasn´t what I expect it. It was horrible actually” I hug myself.
“Horrible?” He sounded offended.
“Yeah. Awful. I didn´t feel wonderful or amazing” I looked down. “You suppose to feel wonderful and amazing if you have sex with someone you love”
All this time I didn´t want to face the fact that the experience wasn’t what I expected, that I was disappointed, and most of all I didn’t want to Jr to find out that. I didn´t want to had the expression that I was looking. Sadness. Hurt.
“I...I’m sorry...” He was serious but I knew him, my words had a bigger effect on him and his pride.
“I just need sometime on my own Michael”
We arrive at my house.

“If you don´t understand it at least respected it please”
He just nodded I could see the hurt in his face. It made me feel awful
“Rose. I´m really sorry. You should have stop me if You didn´t feel alright” He went out of the car and follow me to my door.
“I wasn´t thinking straight. I´m sorry too.” I said avoiding his look.
I turned around and was about to enter to my house.
“Rose!” He stopped me. I turned around slowly; He was looking at his shoe.
“Does this mean.....” I waited for him to continue. He was biting his lip and timidly raised his head and looked at me, his eyes were watering, I had to suppress the impulse of hugging him.
“Does this mean that you don´t love me anymore?”
My heart melted a little bit as He was about to cry, I just caressed his face tenderly.
“I just need some time, okay? I kissed him on the check. “Okay?”
He just nodded and drags himself back to his car as I entered my house.

I went to my room, I was tired. I left myself fall into my bed.
Confusion was around me. I looked at the wall in front of me. There was a calendar in that wall. I always marked the important days such as birthdays, anniversaries and the days my period it´s supposed to come.
I stared at the calendar for a bit, the red days I had market started the day before. I jump off the bad and run to the calendar.
“Oh my god!” I was late, by two days.
“Fuck fuck fuck”
I started to pass around the room like a maniac, biting my nails, walking in circles.
“Fuck”
I sat on the bed again my heart beat rising. I took my phone and dialed the number I knew by heart.
“Hello?” The other person answered.
“Sarah?” I asked nervously. “We need to talk”