Discovering the Past

I looked myself in the mirror one more time.

Hair. Check.
Face. Check.
Clothes. Cool. Check.
Ass.. Thank you mom and dad. So hell yeah check.

I had made my best to look good. I took time to do my hair, selected a special pair of black tight jeans , a cool T shirt and a coat that matched.
To summaries, I was as hot as Gerard way can be.
I needed to look good cause today was going to be the day. I was going to tell Frank about my feelings for him. The past week had been so normal between us; We spent way too much time together. So I was convinced that I had a shoot, He just needed to realize that He actually loved me too.

I got to Frank’s house a little late because of all the grooming I did on myself. Rose opened the door for me, she was still a little weird but maybe beaches she and Michael were still weird with each other. But at least now she was talking and smiling again.

“Hi Gerard. Please come in” I entered the house. “You look good.”
“Thanks honey”. I gave her a little hug.
“And smell good” she grinned at me. Ray and Krista were all ready in the house, they waved at me. Bob and a girl that supposed to be his girlfriend. Brian was there too, even molly and her husband were there.

“And smell good too”. She smirked at me and I just smiled and return. I scanned the room for Frank.
“He´s in the kitchen”. I nodded.
“Go find him tiger”. She joked, somehow everybody seemed to notices about my feelings for Frank, except of course Frank .
There was not sigh of The Mikeys yet.

“Happy Birthday!” I found him in the kitchen trying to open a bottle of wine.
“Hey!” He went to where I was and gave me very strong and happy hug. I took the opportunity to smell his hair. It smell so nice, like herbs, probably his shampoo.

“You look great!” He went back to his task of opening the bottle.
“Hey You´re the one that suppose to be complimented!” I laugh and went closer to where He was.
“How do I look them?”
“Smoking hot” I honestly said. He was wearing a gray and tight shirt, first buttons open, revealing a little chest. A black skinny jean and black converse. Hair slight brush and wet, it look like he just got out of the shower. He giggled at my compliment. “You´re kind or blind” He giggled again.
“Happy birthday” I gave him a small box.
“Thanks man” You shouldn’t have worried.
“Just open it” I took a step back to watch his reaction.
He tore the envelope apart to reveal a small frame with a picture on it..
When He opened the box he was speechless.
“I found it with some old things”. It was a picture of all us, the band with our golden platinum, our first ones. We had our revenge custom.
“Thanks”. He said in a small voice.
We all look so happy and emotive, that day when all our dermas started to come true. In the picture Frank was crying and we all hold each other. Smiling

“You like it?” I wasn’t sure due to his lack of excitement.
“I love it. Thanks.”
I smile slightly “That day you had our first kiss, remember?” I asked him in a small voice when He go back to the wine, He froze for a second and then just nodded.
“There are some snacks on that bowl, Can you help me and take it out?” He change the subject, looking serious all the sudden.

*******
We had played in Long Beach Arena, an amazing show, the last one of that tour. We didn´t had a fucking idea that around the corner our first gold records will be waiting for us. I remember I hug Mikey first and a group hug, hugging Frank that froze in his spot and was the first one crying, He look like a little child, I hold him and he hide his face in my neck.

“Thanks for fucking believing in us more than anybody in the world. Thanks for making us the most danger band in rock ´n roll, we promise you that we´ll make the most dangerous label in music industry” I finishes my little speech as everybody were clapping. I looked at Frank, he was smiling in a sweet way, he put his hand over his heart. He was moved. I smiled at him and clap even louder. The true was that all I wanted to do was hug him again, he look so fragile and emotional, It seemed like he was going to cry again. Hell, I wanted to cry, everything meant so much, me staying sober, the band sticking together, having the golden records, the fans, everything.

That night we were going to the airport for a long and deserve it rest. After a small celebration everybody went to their bunk on the way to the airport. I decided to stay up. I sat in the sofa and looked at the window, I was feeling emotional. Every precious moment with the band started to play in my head, how much we had been together through, how low I felt with the drugs and the alcohol. How I almost drag everything down with me. How ashamed I felt every time I remember the subject.

A tear or two rolled down my cheek. I promised myself that nothing will stop us now, I´ll do anything to get the message to everyone in the fucking planet.

“Are you ok?” Frank sat in front of me with a concern look.
“Yeah, I’m fine”
“Then I hope those are happy tears”
I clean up the tears.
“Just feeling emotional I guess” I looked down.
“Hey, you should be proud”
“I´m not feeling much proud”
“What? Are you insane, We´ll never get here if It wasn´t for you2 His finger on my chin forced me to look into his eyes, the most beautiful eyes ever, faith and conviction written upon them.
“I almost ruin everything”
“Gerard, that´s in the past” He said “The important thing is that you get through it”.
I nodded.
“I promise you, I never going down that path again” I said with conviction, promising to him and myself.
“I know you won´t”. He took a deep breath and hug me, rubbing my back.
“Wanted or not, You´re the heart and soul of this band, you´re our sexy leader G” He whispered in my ear. His words only made me cry more.
He took my face with his hand and clean the tears.
“I will follow you anywhere, always” He smiled sweetly at me and nodded shyly, biting my lip.
Suddenly Frank´s lip were on mine and for about two seconds, We shared a kiss. A sweet and tender kiss. It was so short that I didn´t had time to process it. It was over before I could respond properly.
“So cheer up okay” He still had his hands holding both sides of my face. “And try to get some sleep”
He stood up and messed with my hair.
“Good night” and He was gone.

********

The party went pretty normal. Food, drinks, beer , wine and loud music. I started to talk with Bob and his girlfriend. She was younger than him and they met in bob music store. Her name was Mary and she was really nice.
Frank was a little distance since the mention of the kiss thing but eventually, as the night progressed and the wine hit on He was back to normal. I guess the wine make him loosing up a little bite.

“How´s Rose? Is she normal…” I went to where Frank, He had been talking to Molly and Joe, but then went to get more drink, so I took the opportunity to start conversation with him.
“I think she and Michael had a fight. There are not talking too much” He observed. Mikey had arrive with Jr like an hour ago, and There were sitting in a corner talking and joking with Ray and Krista.
“Teenagers stuff” I waved my hand trying to rest importance to the matter.
“It’s been difficult with her lately...I really don´t know how to treat her...” I said looking at his glass.
“So you pretty much gave her anything She asks?”
Molly said from behind me.
“Yeah, pretty much” Frank smiled like a little child that has done a bad thing.
“Frank, I´ve told you you´re spoiling her way too much” she sat in the couch next to me, the same as Joe.
“It´s not like he had the time to did it before” Said folding my arms over my chest.
Molly gave a dead glare. She was going to say something when Frank cut us out.
“Hey...no fights today. It’s my birthday. So be friends!”
He started to talk about random topic, such as politics, weather, a couple of minutes later We were talking in civilized manner. Molly was so tight up, but Joe was kind of cool.

It was late night already when Molly and Bob left.
Brain said goodbye as well.
I saw Michael talking to Rose for the first time in the whole night. They went to Rose bedroom, to talk possibly. Frank saw this too.

“Hey, they probably going to talk” I grab his arm.
“Yeah...” He sighed “Teenager daughter plus teenager boy in a room with a bed...not my idea of fun”
“Haven´t you guys had the “talk”?,
“Nope” He took another sip of beer.
“I guess her mom already gave her that” He shrugged his shoulders.
“Rose is a smart girl , She wouldn’t do anything stupid” He said looking at me concerned. I thought for a moment. “Right?” He asked kind of scare now.
“Right” I said confidently. He gave a tender smile.
Ray came to where We were.
“Do you haf more beer dud?” Ray asked He was a little drunk, he was slaughtering, but Krista was fine and she was laughing of Ray´s goofiness.
“Yeah, I put it on Rose bedroom, there are some bottles there. I´ll go get them”
“No it´s okay, I’ll go. You guys keep on talking” Frank had a little much of drink too, so I was kind of worried of him going down the stairs of Rose bedroom.
Ray looked at me suspicious. And pointed at me with his index. “You stay away from my beer!”
“Hey…it´s me….I not going to drink it”
Ray closed his eyes and laugh. “I forgot for a second!!!”
Okay He was definitely drunk, I just sighed and smile. Frank and Krista were laughing at Ray´s drunken state.

I started to walk down the stairs to Rose room spooking my head and smiling.

“Let´s just go back to the way things were. I miss you!” It was Jr. voice.
“I missed you too”
Fuck I totally forgot they were here talking.
I stood in my place not know what to do, If I go back they could hear me. I just remained there silence, in the middle of the stairs, watching them kissing. Awkward!
“Since that day things have been weird” Rose said holding Jr´s hand.
“We won’t try to have sex until you feel secure enough”. They hug. All I could think of was ´Fuck, thanks god Fran´s not here´
“You should have told me you thought you were pregnant”
´Thanks god Frank´s not here!!´
“WHAT?” A louder scream came from behind me.
´Okay maybe Frank was here´.

He was behind me.