Unpretty
Uncle Frank
15
Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, its hard to breath
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down Ohh, nooo
So don't you bring me down today.
To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom, Ohh
Tryin' hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
Is That the way it is?
you are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
Oh no, 'cause you are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, Oh no
So don't you bring me down today...
(No matter what we do)
No matter what we do
(No matter what we say)
No matter what we say
(we're the song inside the tune) Ohh yeahhh (full of beautiful mistakes)
(And everywhere we go)
And everywhere we go
(The sun will always shine)
Sun will always, always, shine
'cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today.
Christina Aguilera
There is no time to be unhappy in our family.
Last night, at quarter-to-twelve,on the 30th November, Amy Lynn and Adam Peter Brett were born. They are both safe and happy and gorgeous, with tufts of jet-black hair and big blue eyes. Adam was born first, and he weighs 8lbs. Amy was born seacond, and weighs 7.8 lbs. Right now, I am holding Adam and Craig is holding Amy. Lindsey is sitting up in bed, Pete sitting on a chair next to her. After the funeral, Lindsey and Pete had a long chat, and made up. Now, they're back together and parents and engaged. Lindsey is sporting a huge diamond on her ring finger, and huge smile.
" They're like porcelin," Craig whispers. " Like they could shatter if you drop them. How can something so small be so perfect?"
" I think Craig is tempted to have kids," I say. "Does this mean I can be bridesmaid at yours and Macalya's wedding?"
" You can be bridesmaid at our wedding," promises Pete. " In a tight silk pink dress!"
I don't say anything. My glare says enough.
" No, you can wear red," Lindsey says. " With white roses. I'll wear white, with red roses."
" They'll clash with your hair," teases Pete, tweaking one of Lindsey's curls.
" What colour is your hair, Linds?" I ask. Lindsey's eyes glitters.
" Well...I'm really ginger. That's why I was so relieved when these two were born with their dad's locks," Lindsey admits. " I've been dying my hair since high school. I was made to, by an old boyfriend. He said he wouldn't go out with somebody ginger, so I dyed it all red. I stopped dying it for a bit when I was in college, went back to ginger. I was very surprised when Pete asked me out."
" I love your hair," Pete murmers, plaiting strands of it. " The kids would of loved great with ginger hair!"
" Yes, but they still look gorgeous with black hair," Lindsey says, thoughtfully looking at Amy. " Doesn't Amy look like Annie!"
" What?No! Amy's beautiful. I'm not."
Everybody groan loudly.
"You're both beautiful," Pete argues. " My little girl and my little sister."
" Your mum and dad would have been proud of you," Lindsey says. " All of you-Pete, Craig, Annie.All the Brett's."
" That'll be you soon," grins Craig. " Are you ready to become a member of our family?"
" I have to warn you, we are prone to food fights."
" And freak-outs."
" And general craziness."
" Are you willing to take that risk?"
" Yes! Of course!I'm not going to be left out!"
" If I were you, I would be fearing my children's safty."
Craig grips Amy and strokes her hair.
" They're....amazing. So perfect."
"Mum and Dad were like that when you were born," Pete tells us. " And you, Annie. Awed by your perfection. Utterly made up that you were a part of them. Mum was over the moon when you were born, Annie. She had her little girl, at long last. And Dad had his little princess. You were always the baby, the one we all looked out for, the one we all protected."
" I'm not a baby anymore. We'll all have to look out for Ames now, in a house full of boys. You, Craig, Scotty, Jorden. There's only me and Lindsey."
"We were thinking," Lindsey says gently. " That the twin's could have Frank's old room?"
I freeze. Giving up Frank's room, a room that holds so many memories? Yes. I need to. It's time to move on. And the twin's need the room.
" Okay."
" Thanks, Annie. Are you sure it's Okay?"
" Yeah. Frank would of wanted the twin's to have his room."
Just saying his name causes me to tingle with sadness. Adam notices, wakes up. He looks just like Pete, and Dad. I pass him over to his besoted father and give Craig prod.
" Hey, you. Let me cuddle my neice."
" She's my neice, too."
" I named her."
"Amy Lynn. Might of guessed."
" What? It's a cool name! Pete and Linds like it!"
I take Amy from Craig and cradle her in my arms.
" I'm your aunty," I tell her. " And that four-eyed berk is your uncle. Sorry about that.Oowww! Craig, you dim-witted nutcase!"
I poke my toung out at my brother and carry on talking.
" That pretty woman with all the red hair-she's your mum. And that man you looks like your brother is your dad. We're your family.You've got a nan and grandad, too, but they're not alive anymore. And you've got another gran and grandad, and another aunty and uncle, and their kids. And you've got another uncle-Uncle Frank. He's not alive anymore, but I bet he'd love you. I'll take you to see him when you're older."
Amy gurgles happily, and she looks so cute, I drop a kiss on her nose.
" Do you want to have kids, Annie?"
" No way. Not ever. I don't want to get married, either. Well, not anymore."
" I think somebody's got their heart set on it," Pete says. "That poor boy's obviously in love with you."
Ah, yes, Vicken. He's been there through the tears and tantrums. He's held my hand and made me feel almost better. That box he gave me had his mum's black and silver goblet in it, with a note. It said:-
Dear Annie.
You should have this; it reminds me of you. You are perfect the way you are, and always remember that.
Love Vicken
xoxoxoxo
Vicken is still my best friend, along with Cathy and Morgan. They've made up now. Cathy ditched her new clothes and strolled into school a day after the funeral with her hair dyed back to it's original colour with new blue streaks, wearing Converse and carrying a Fall Out Boy bag. Jared asked her were she was going at Break as she linked arms with me and Morgs, and she replied to live her life the way she wanted. She and Jared aren't speaking anymore, but what can you do? Young love is fickle and reckless.
Buttercup is still with us, as hyper as ever. He misses his daddy, but he is calming down and coping with it. He's great. He's my baby.
Heather and her little gang have backed off a lot. When I went back to school after the funeral, they all gave me hugs and said they were so sorry for treating me like that. We're not friends, but at least they're not bullying me. Scarlett Whyte swooped down on me in a fit of hugs and tears, and all of Frank's ex-girlfriends came up to me and gave me hugs. Ashley is still a witch, but I didn't suspect anything more. I met up with two of Frank's mates after the funeral: Claire and Maddison. Claire is Okay, but Maddison's great. She's eleven, scary and tough. We phone each other a lot, and she came down in the summer holidays and we all hung out. She's cool. She said Frank was great, but she never got to tell him about her dad. He hits her. Her mum doesn't understands what's going on, and Taylor and Kevin are never there. She's only told me, and I made her tell the Social. Now, her dad's not allowed to live with them, and she's happy and bruise-free. Everybody's happy.
I feel guilty every time I feel happy.I am afraid to be happy. I look at happiness in a negative way. I told Vic, Cathy, Morgs, Maddi, and they all told me that I was allowed to be happy. Frank wouldn't want me to be all upset, but it didn't stop me crying and getting out my razor. I've scared them, I've scared my family. I've made them cry. I know that if Frank was here, I would have scared him and made him cry, too. Sometimes, when it's raining, I think Frank's crying. The sky is crying, and so is Frank.
I don't want to scare people, to make them cry. It makes me feel bad, but I do it anyway.
Everyday, I hurt. Everyday, it kills me to think he'll never walk through that door again, never put his arms around me and press his lips to mine again. I think that it would of been nice if he'd of lived and we'd of lasted. I think that it'd be cool to get married to him, to share a house with him. It will never happen. I know that.
Saying I miss him is the biggest understatement ever. It kills me every second away from him, so the future's looking pretty bleak seeing as though he's never coming back.
Maddi said it'll be Okay if I fall in love again. She says Frank would of wanted me to be happy, and if that means being in love with someone, then I should go ahead with it. She was talking about Vicken. Cathy said even though she doesn't like him, I should give him a chance. She says he's head-over-heels, and I'm being too stand-offish. I am still his friend, but I can't imagine going out with him.
I know I will love people in the future, but I will never love anybody quite as much as I loved Frank.
I still have the pictures, the presents.I still have the butterflies and the necklace and the sketch and the LoveHeart's stuck to my bag. They all hold signifigence in my life, even though they're junk to other people. They are all important, but there is one thing I have which is so much better. Memories. I still have memories, and I love them. The pencil lines will fade, the sweets will go off, but the memories will stay crisp and sharp. I love my memories, and I will keep them forever.
They will always remind me of my Frankie.
Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, its hard to breath
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed
I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down Ohh, nooo
So don't you bring me down today.
To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom, Ohh
Tryin' hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
Is That the way it is?
you are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
Oh no, 'cause you are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down, Oh no
So don't you bring me down today...
(No matter what we do)
No matter what we do
(No matter what we say)
No matter what we say
(we're the song inside the tune) Ohh yeahhh (full of beautiful mistakes)
(And everywhere we go)
And everywhere we go
(The sun will always shine)
Sun will always, always, shine
'cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh no
So don't you bring me down today.
Christina Aguilera
There is no time to be unhappy in our family.
Last night, at quarter-to-twelve,on the 30th November, Amy Lynn and Adam Peter Brett were born. They are both safe and happy and gorgeous, with tufts of jet-black hair and big blue eyes. Adam was born first, and he weighs 8lbs. Amy was born seacond, and weighs 7.8 lbs. Right now, I am holding Adam and Craig is holding Amy. Lindsey is sitting up in bed, Pete sitting on a chair next to her. After the funeral, Lindsey and Pete had a long chat, and made up. Now, they're back together and parents and engaged. Lindsey is sporting a huge diamond on her ring finger, and huge smile.
" They're like porcelin," Craig whispers. " Like they could shatter if you drop them. How can something so small be so perfect?"
" I think Craig is tempted to have kids," I say. "Does this mean I can be bridesmaid at yours and Macalya's wedding?"
" You can be bridesmaid at our wedding," promises Pete. " In a tight silk pink dress!"
I don't say anything. My glare says enough.
" No, you can wear red," Lindsey says. " With white roses. I'll wear white, with red roses."
" They'll clash with your hair," teases Pete, tweaking one of Lindsey's curls.
" What colour is your hair, Linds?" I ask. Lindsey's eyes glitters.
" Well...I'm really ginger. That's why I was so relieved when these two were born with their dad's locks," Lindsey admits. " I've been dying my hair since high school. I was made to, by an old boyfriend. He said he wouldn't go out with somebody ginger, so I dyed it all red. I stopped dying it for a bit when I was in college, went back to ginger. I was very surprised when Pete asked me out."
" I love your hair," Pete murmers, plaiting strands of it. " The kids would of loved great with ginger hair!"
" Yes, but they still look gorgeous with black hair," Lindsey says, thoughtfully looking at Amy. " Doesn't Amy look like Annie!"
" What?No! Amy's beautiful. I'm not."
Everybody groan loudly.
"You're both beautiful," Pete argues. " My little girl and my little sister."
" Your mum and dad would have been proud of you," Lindsey says. " All of you-Pete, Craig, Annie.All the Brett's."
" That'll be you soon," grins Craig. " Are you ready to become a member of our family?"
" I have to warn you, we are prone to food fights."
" And freak-outs."
" And general craziness."
" Are you willing to take that risk?"
" Yes! Of course!I'm not going to be left out!"
" If I were you, I would be fearing my children's safty."
Craig grips Amy and strokes her hair.
" They're....amazing. So perfect."
"Mum and Dad were like that when you were born," Pete tells us. " And you, Annie. Awed by your perfection. Utterly made up that you were a part of them. Mum was over the moon when you were born, Annie. She had her little girl, at long last. And Dad had his little princess. You were always the baby, the one we all looked out for, the one we all protected."
" I'm not a baby anymore. We'll all have to look out for Ames now, in a house full of boys. You, Craig, Scotty, Jorden. There's only me and Lindsey."
"We were thinking," Lindsey says gently. " That the twin's could have Frank's old room?"
I freeze. Giving up Frank's room, a room that holds so many memories? Yes. I need to. It's time to move on. And the twin's need the room.
" Okay."
" Thanks, Annie. Are you sure it's Okay?"
" Yeah. Frank would of wanted the twin's to have his room."
Just saying his name causes me to tingle with sadness. Adam notices, wakes up. He looks just like Pete, and Dad. I pass him over to his besoted father and give Craig prod.
" Hey, you. Let me cuddle my neice."
" She's my neice, too."
" I named her."
"Amy Lynn. Might of guessed."
" What? It's a cool name! Pete and Linds like it!"
I take Amy from Craig and cradle her in my arms.
" I'm your aunty," I tell her. " And that four-eyed berk is your uncle. Sorry about that.Oowww! Craig, you dim-witted nutcase!"
I poke my toung out at my brother and carry on talking.
" That pretty woman with all the red hair-she's your mum. And that man you looks like your brother is your dad. We're your family.You've got a nan and grandad, too, but they're not alive anymore. And you've got another gran and grandad, and another aunty and uncle, and their kids. And you've got another uncle-Uncle Frank. He's not alive anymore, but I bet he'd love you. I'll take you to see him when you're older."
Amy gurgles happily, and she looks so cute, I drop a kiss on her nose.
" Do you want to have kids, Annie?"
" No way. Not ever. I don't want to get married, either. Well, not anymore."
" I think somebody's got their heart set on it," Pete says. "That poor boy's obviously in love with you."
Ah, yes, Vicken. He's been there through the tears and tantrums. He's held my hand and made me feel almost better. That box he gave me had his mum's black and silver goblet in it, with a note. It said:-
Dear Annie.
You should have this; it reminds me of you. You are perfect the way you are, and always remember that.
Love Vicken
xoxoxoxo
Vicken is still my best friend, along with Cathy and Morgan. They've made up now. Cathy ditched her new clothes and strolled into school a day after the funeral with her hair dyed back to it's original colour with new blue streaks, wearing Converse and carrying a Fall Out Boy bag. Jared asked her were she was going at Break as she linked arms with me and Morgs, and she replied to live her life the way she wanted. She and Jared aren't speaking anymore, but what can you do? Young love is fickle and reckless.
Buttercup is still with us, as hyper as ever. He misses his daddy, but he is calming down and coping with it. He's great. He's my baby.
Heather and her little gang have backed off a lot. When I went back to school after the funeral, they all gave me hugs and said they were so sorry for treating me like that. We're not friends, but at least they're not bullying me. Scarlett Whyte swooped down on me in a fit of hugs and tears, and all of Frank's ex-girlfriends came up to me and gave me hugs. Ashley is still a witch, but I didn't suspect anything more. I met up with two of Frank's mates after the funeral: Claire and Maddison. Claire is Okay, but Maddison's great. She's eleven, scary and tough. We phone each other a lot, and she came down in the summer holidays and we all hung out. She's cool. She said Frank was great, but she never got to tell him about her dad. He hits her. Her mum doesn't understands what's going on, and Taylor and Kevin are never there. She's only told me, and I made her tell the Social. Now, her dad's not allowed to live with them, and she's happy and bruise-free. Everybody's happy.
I feel guilty every time I feel happy.I am afraid to be happy. I look at happiness in a negative way. I told Vic, Cathy, Morgs, Maddi, and they all told me that I was allowed to be happy. Frank wouldn't want me to be all upset, but it didn't stop me crying and getting out my razor. I've scared them, I've scared my family. I've made them cry. I know that if Frank was here, I would have scared him and made him cry, too. Sometimes, when it's raining, I think Frank's crying. The sky is crying, and so is Frank.
I don't want to scare people, to make them cry. It makes me feel bad, but I do it anyway.
Everyday, I hurt. Everyday, it kills me to think he'll never walk through that door again, never put his arms around me and press his lips to mine again. I think that it would of been nice if he'd of lived and we'd of lasted. I think that it'd be cool to get married to him, to share a house with him. It will never happen. I know that.
Saying I miss him is the biggest understatement ever. It kills me every second away from him, so the future's looking pretty bleak seeing as though he's never coming back.
Maddi said it'll be Okay if I fall in love again. She says Frank would of wanted me to be happy, and if that means being in love with someone, then I should go ahead with it. She was talking about Vicken. Cathy said even though she doesn't like him, I should give him a chance. She says he's head-over-heels, and I'm being too stand-offish. I am still his friend, but I can't imagine going out with him.
I know I will love people in the future, but I will never love anybody quite as much as I loved Frank.
I still have the pictures, the presents.I still have the butterflies and the necklace and the sketch and the LoveHeart's stuck to my bag. They all hold signifigence in my life, even though they're junk to other people. They are all important, but there is one thing I have which is so much better. Memories. I still have memories, and I love them. The pencil lines will fade, the sweets will go off, but the memories will stay crisp and sharp. I love my memories, and I will keep them forever.
They will always remind me of my Frankie.