18 Days

Having his arms wrapped around me once again sent rheumatic waves of pleasure and electricity coursing through my body; shaking it to the bone. My mind stood still as it watched of movie of emotions and memories, I had long suppressed entered my thoughts.

I was watching my mind made movie as I felt a tug on my heart and an impulse from my brain, Each telling me different things. One telling me to turn around and smash my lips to his in a passionate kiss expelling how much I wanted and, needed him. The other saying be strong. Get up gather CJ and get going. But.... I don't know which is saying which?

"Are you okay?" His unique voice sounded yet, again; breaking the trance my mind was self-captured in.

My voice sounded like as if I just witnessed some one being murdered in front of my eyes; shaky, nervous, soft, and scared. I began hearing my heart pound thunderously in my ears as I breathed unevenly. Yet, his voice rang clear like police sirens.

"Are you sure, you sound a little..." He paused trying to find the appropriate word to fit in his sentence. "Scared, anxious and alarmed?" His voice was still loud and clear as my heart thundered loudly.

"Y-Y-Yeah, I'm fine." I'd regained my voice slowly as he helped me stand on my own two feet.

"You remind of some one." His voice was filled with sorrow and regret as He murmured this. I felt both my brains' impulse and my hearts' tug, one saying to comfort him the other telling me to reveal myself to him.

"Who might that be?" Asked I as he released me from his arms grasp letting the lasts waves of electricity flow through my body softly.

"I girl I once knew." His voice soft as is was laced with regret and sorrow once more but with something else I could not figure out as I nervously fixed my ruffled, half risen shirt.

"What was her name?" Softly I asked, not knowing where I was leading this conversation.

"Sheila." He whispered almost whimpered.

"Tell him." I heard Syn say softly almost sadly. I turned around my eyes were closed as I began turning around, nervously pushing my hair out of my face quickly.

"MOM! MOM!! Were gonna be late." CJ's voice was high in pitch and anxious as I heard his little feet patter against the hard flooring as I finished turning around.

"You?" I heard him whisper I was knocked off balance making my eyes snap open with alarm I grabbed the rack catching myself before I clashed to the ground. I saw all of the guys staring at me. Each of them just staring like they were looking at a ghost. In terms they were.

"Mom?" CJ asked suddenly aware of the tension in the room.

"Mom?" I felt his eyes pierce my skin like daggers making me look up from CJ ,who was hiding behind my legs, and into his eyes.

"What's his name." He looked at me as I still stared into his eyes, I thought I saw his heart breaking.

"CJ Sanders." I said softly looking at CJ who beamed up a bright smile and then hid behind my legs again.

"When did you get back?" Matt asked looking at CJ.

"Months ago?" I rubbed my neck.

"and you didn't stop by to see my Double D's?" Johnny asked lifting some of the tension in the store. I felt the corners of my mouth turn up in his efforts, but I soon felt the tension drop on my shoulders as he stared into my eyes again.

"Mom." Whispered CJ tugged on my jeans softly. I turned my head quickly from his gaze to look at CJ.

"I'm hungry." He whispered covering his mouth. I smiled as everyone gave a quiet laughter as they all heard him.

"You want to grab something to eat?" My voice was soft as i spoke to him.

"Yeas." He dragged out rolling his head around and around I grabbed it quickly. making him stop half turn. He cracked a smile and then stuck out his tongue.

"Then lets go!" He smiled brightly making me forget about the tension that was going to snap necks soon.

"Mind if we come?" Syn smirked at me. "You McDonald's is just right down the street." His smirk grew.

"Does it have a play place?" Asked CJ his eyes gleaming with excitement as he stared at Syn.

"Yeah." Syn smiled.

"Drive me! Mister crazy hands!" Demanded CJ as he pounced on Syn who caught him.

"Alright mister Crazy beats." Syn ruffled his hair and began walking out of the store. I grabbed my bags following them out of the store. I turned back around to see the rest of the guys.

"Are you coming?" I asked softly.

I saw them all smile and Johnny ran over to me linking his arm with mine like I hadn't left in the first place.