You Got a Mouth Like a Razor Blade

I fumbled in my pocket for the house key, them getting caught in my phone and falling to the floor with a rattle. I rolled my eyes, scooping them up and unlocking the door in one swift movement. I had said my goodbyes and thank you’s to Bring Me The Horizon, silently wishing that I would see them again. Oliver had insisted for my number, telling me he would text me when they got to their next destination. I had apologised profusely when they said they were now behind schedule, immediately knowing it was my fault. They insisted it wasn’t. When I didn’t shut up, Matt threw his hand over my mouth until I was quiet.
I giggled quietly at the memory.

“Hey…” I jumped as someone’s quiet but deep voice vibrated through my ears.

“Adam! You scared me…” I said just as quietly. He looked upset and fidgety, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah…no. Not at all…I just broke up with my girlfriend…” he sniffed, pulling at the hem of his shirt. I sighed, slipped off my shoes and sat next to him on the couch.

“I’m sorry, Adam”

“S’ not your fault…” he shuffled to face me, “but I just know how much I’m gonna miss her and that’s what’s really crippling” I nodded, a faint pain in my heart as he mentioned about missing people. I already missed the band…especially Oliver and I was uncertain if and when I would ever see them again.

“She cheated on me, Autumn…I don’t know what I did to make her do that to me…” he whined, his head falling onto the back of the couch.

“You did nothing and if she was so ready to cheat on you, she’s not worth your tears” I smiled at him through the dim light. He smiled and stared at me, looking deep into my eyes that made me feel slightly uncomfortable to say the least. He continued to wriggle on the couch. He grabbed my hand and pulled me forward, our lips colliding. It happened so quickly I didn’t have time to register what was happening until he ran his tongue across my bottom lip. I pushed him off me, jumping up in disgust.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I screamed at him. He looked taken a aback and began to stand up.

“I thought it’s what you wanted!”

“No! I wanted you to love me yes but as your sister, for fuck sake!” I was angry, I was confused, I wanted to get out of here. Tears started to fall yet again as I struggled to put my Converse back on my feet.

“Please don’t leave! I’m sorry! I interpreted this thing all wrong!” he said, despair evident in his voice.

“Damn right you did!” I replied, wrenching the door open and stepping onto the step. He grabbed the door.

“Please! Just…just don’t leave” he whispered, his foot still stuck in the door and his strong hand holding it.

“Sorry…I just can’t. Again, I’m sorry. Goodbye Adam…” and with that I launched myself down the stairs, running full pelt down my road with no idea of where I was going to go.

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I collapsed to the floor, gasping for breath as the cold night air restricted my lungs from taking in a sufficient amount of oxygen. My tears had dried to my cheeks leaving invisible lines of despair. My phone sounded loudly and I screamed, more tears leaking from my eyes.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…FUCK!” I yelled, pulling my phone out of my pocket. It was text…from Oliver.

Can I ask you something? I raised an eyebrow and quickly tapped back a reply.

Ask away. I wiped at my sore eyes with my hand, expecting a trail of eyeliner but there was none. My phone started to sing again

Why are you sat on the freezing pavement screaming fuck? I lifted my head and scanned the street slowly. It was dead and I could see no-one. I didn’t even feel as though anyone was actually here. It freaked me out that he could see me but I couldn’t see him. I tapped another message.

Where are you? I waited for a reply but my phone remained silent.

“Ya know, your really unobservant?” my breath caught in my throat as I heard someone sit down next to me.

“Where the hell were you?” I gasped, seeing Oliver sat next me, a cigarette in his hand.

“Right up there…” he pointed further down the street where a tour bus was parked, “I can’t believer you couldn’t see that…” he chuckled lightly and took another drag. I felt myself blush but it soon disappeared when a cold gust of wind hit.

“Why are you here anyway?” he asked, poking my knee.

“I could say the same for you…”

“Matt needs food…that boy’s like a bottomless pit” I nodded, stamping on stuff that flew past me, riding on the wind, “right, so why are you here?” I scratched my head. I felt tears prick my eyes and I willed myself not to cry, inhaling deeply.

“Hey…” he touched my cheek, using his thumb to wipe away one stray tear, “that’s another thing you can tell me later” he smiled. He wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my back. I exhaled and sighed. Why couldn’t things always be like this? He pulled away, standing up while I tried to hide my disappointment.

“Come on…”

“Where am I going?” I asked confused.

“Home”

“I can’t go ho-”

“To get clothes and come with us…” my jaw dropped. He couldn’t be serious? He grabbed my hands, lifting me off of the floor, pulling me towards the bus.

“Are you serious?!”