When you blink do you only find the misery weighs down your eyes?
Chapter Seven
Cieran's POV
I walked back home and opened the door. I saw Mike, smoking a crack pipe. He normally didn't do crack. He must have got some dirt cheap. He smiled as he saw me walk in.
"Hey pretty boy. Look what I got!"
He was waving a big, leather belt. Oh no. Not the belt.
"You see it?"
I nodded.
"I SAID DO YOU SEE IT!"
"Y-y-yes."
"You know what I'm gonna do wit it?"
I nodded.
He stood and started beating me with his belt. I hated the belt. It hurt so much more than his fist. I mean, his fist has rings and all but it isn't made out of harsh leather. He beat me until I fell to the floor. He laughed.
"I'm bored. I'm gonna go to your bitch of a mother."
He left and now it was Gina's turn. He hurt Gina worse than he hurt me. He raped AND beat her. I believe that is how I was concieved. I felt really bad for Gina. I mean, sure she was an alcoholic but still, he beat her worse than me. I sighed and decided I was going to take a shower. I stripped of my clothes and entered the shower and the water hit my bare skin. I was in physical pain. I wish I came from a good family like Shay does. I was I didn't have to live with Gina and Mike. If only. I looked on the shelf in my shower and saw my shiny silver friend. The one who made me smile. I picked it up and looked at it. It glistened like silver usually glistens. I pressed it against my arm.
Slash Slash Slash
I felt relieved. I did that about maybe 10 times. I washed away the blood and looked at my lovely scars. I loved them. They were beautiful to me. I was afraid, however, to show people them in case they sent me to a therapist to try and make me stop. I didn't want to stop. I wanted to cut and cut and cut until I cut so hard that I hit a vein and died. That's probably how my life would end. But I would miss Shay so much! Maybe he could die too... like a suicide pact? Hmm. Maybe. One day. I finished showering and dryed off and put on a pair of boxers and a tee. I turned on my stereo and let the words swim around me.
Cause it was all so meaningless (Cause it was all so meaningless)
It didn't help clean up my mess
Just save yourself
Cause it's too late for me
Just save yourself
Cause I lost everything
I allowed myself to drown in the words as I feel asleep.
I walked back home and opened the door. I saw Mike, smoking a crack pipe. He normally didn't do crack. He must have got some dirt cheap. He smiled as he saw me walk in.
"Hey pretty boy. Look what I got!"
He was waving a big, leather belt. Oh no. Not the belt.
"You see it?"
I nodded.
"I SAID DO YOU SEE IT!"
"Y-y-yes."
"You know what I'm gonna do wit it?"
I nodded.
He stood and started beating me with his belt. I hated the belt. It hurt so much more than his fist. I mean, his fist has rings and all but it isn't made out of harsh leather. He beat me until I fell to the floor. He laughed.
"I'm bored. I'm gonna go to your bitch of a mother."
He left and now it was Gina's turn. He hurt Gina worse than he hurt me. He raped AND beat her. I believe that is how I was concieved. I felt really bad for Gina. I mean, sure she was an alcoholic but still, he beat her worse than me. I sighed and decided I was going to take a shower. I stripped of my clothes and entered the shower and the water hit my bare skin. I was in physical pain. I wish I came from a good family like Shay does. I was I didn't have to live with Gina and Mike. If only. I looked on the shelf in my shower and saw my shiny silver friend. The one who made me smile. I picked it up and looked at it. It glistened like silver usually glistens. I pressed it against my arm.
Slash Slash Slash
I felt relieved. I did that about maybe 10 times. I washed away the blood and looked at my lovely scars. I loved them. They were beautiful to me. I was afraid, however, to show people them in case they sent me to a therapist to try and make me stop. I didn't want to stop. I wanted to cut and cut and cut until I cut so hard that I hit a vein and died. That's probably how my life would end. But I would miss Shay so much! Maybe he could die too... like a suicide pact? Hmm. Maybe. One day. I finished showering and dryed off and put on a pair of boxers and a tee. I turned on my stereo and let the words swim around me.
Cause it was all so meaningless (Cause it was all so meaningless)
It didn't help clean up my mess
Just save yourself
Cause it's too late for me
Just save yourself
Cause I lost everything
I allowed myself to drown in the words as I feel asleep.