The Life of a Hustler

I hopped up the stairs that let to my room taking them two at a time in the urgency to get away from everything that just happened. I needed a blunt badly or at the very least a handful of pills. I knew better than to go through the day without any medication in my system. I mean look at what I had done. I threw away two good lays and one of them I happened to love at one point for some bitch I barely knew. What the fuck is wrong wit me? I shoulda known better. Look at what happened with Lindsey. I let her in and what did she do fuck me up beyond what I already was. Did I want to get hurt again? Dat bitch shouldn’t have even bothered me. I should have just shrugged it off like I would have any one else. I mean come on I’m Stallion all bitches want me. She is just another hoe it don’t matter. I opened up my door and went straight for my top drawer. I pulled out a handful of percocets and popped ‘em in my mouth and laid back on my bed and tried to figure out what the hell is going on with me. Am I like a lap dog when it comes to Lindsey? Was it that easy for her to play me? It was defiantly a good thing I told her off but I didn’t want to lose the sex because that was out of this world. I laid there for a few minutes letting the medicine take effect but it didn’t take long for Shawty to pop back up in my mind. I don’t know why but it had hurt my ego a little bit when she turned me down. It’s probably because I ain’t used to being turned down. That’s when it hit me. My best friend is actually dating a bitch, not just the usual hit-and-quit but an actual relationship. I had to be jealous that’s the only thing that made sense. I didn’t want to be left alone again. That’s stupid on my part-the Sean part of my brain kicked in- it’s not stupid to be afraid to be left by the one person who’s always been there for you. I nodded in agreement. Since I first met Jester he’s been the only motherfucker who’s been down for me. He’s seem me at my lowest and I’ve seen him at his. Speaking of his lowest maybe I was just concerned about his new relationship. This is the first time he’s gotten close to any female since Marina. Ah Marina is a real sore spot for Jester. Marina is to him like Lindsey is to me only what Marina did to him was much worse than anything Lindsey ever did to me. She did him so dirty. She was the first girl he ever actually fell in love with, I’m talkin that corny head over hills shit. She was completely outta his reach too; just a quiet little emo girl at first-she was basically you know immune to Jester’s “hard street thug” persona. It didn’t take long for her to start to like him, and for him to fall deeper. Pretty soon he was willing to give up everything for her but she literally gave herself up first. Man when she did what she did Jester went bonkers. I’m talkin wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep. He was like that for months after she died He still don’t talk about it. Not that I blame him or nothing’. That shit would fuck me up too. After that he threw himself back into the gang. Nothing went on without him knowing about it. He even found out that Skid was fucking Sammy’s sister before Skid told anyone. That’s how involved he was in shit. I guess I’m just worried about him heading down that path again. M is bad as hell and all but I don’t know if Jest will survive it again. That’s all it was I was concerned.

My pills had taken full affect and I walked downstairs. It didn’t bother me at all when Amber looked up at me. I had gotten over it; though if she kept crossing her legs like that I may not get over something else so quickly. M came in and patted my shoulder with a shit-eating grin on her face. I figured Amber had told her that she turned me down but when M sat down next to me I seriously doubted her sanity.

“Hey Stall you were gone for a long time what were you doing masturbating?” Ah so that explained her smirk. Only nerds and freaks that can’t get laid masturbate now me. I looked her straight in the face and grinned then glanced at Shawty.

“Naw I called one of mi hukups an she came n helped me feel all better.” M’s smile fell.
“You were upset and I missed it! Damnit Jester this is all your fault.” I hadn’t even noticed my best friend’s presence until M had pointed him out. He knew what was up with me. He could always tell but as usual he didn’t say nothing. I spared a glance over at Shawty and she just looked down. Had my sentence bothered her? If it had why did I care she’s just a hoe and if she wanted to act like a hoe then she should get treated like a hoe. I grinned and got up lazily and went to the kitchen and started digging through the fridge. I started to get out all the stuff I was gonna need to make a sandwich when I felt a presence behind me. In a way being a dealer has gave me a sixth sense. I can always tell if someone if approachin me. A pretty good quality to have right? Yea I know. I looked behind me and saw Shawty leaned up against the door frame. When I turned to face her fully she walked closer. She shoved her hands in her pockets as she walked closer. She didn’t come too close to me but still close enough so that I could smell her perfume. She sighed and I knew the mousy tone was back and here to stay for the moment anyway.

“Are you mad at me for saying no?” I almost laughed. Of all the things for this bitch to be worried about-like the fact that I had a knife in my hand, only using it for the miracle whip folks but she don’t know that, or the probably dangerous look in my eyes she’s worried that I’m mad or something. Pssh bitches ain’t eva gonna learn.

“Why woul I b madz? I expetd it outta ya. Ya needz taa get taa knowz me. I can feel dat.” She nodded and looked up at me and a small trace of a smile appeared on her lips.
“I like the way you talk.” At first I thought she was makin fun of me or something and my defense rose until I realized this girl probably ain’t ever met no body like me. So she might be sincere. Then again when is a bitch sincere.

“Ah rlly now, wutz betta mi voice or mi sexi azz abz?” Her face flushed red. Looks like I got my answer.

“This is gonna sound so stupid but your voice. I don’t know what it is about it. It’s heated and sexy and…” Her voice cut off when she realized she had just called a part of me sexy. I chuckled and leaned down real close to her ear.

“It’s ight I knowz ya find me sexi.” That was all it took and she was gone. I grinned while making my sandwich. This could get kind of interesting.