Strawberries
One Condition
I'm lying on a lumpy bed in an old hotel room. It's not near a five star, but it is livable. I have enough money to last me a few days, until I decide what to do.
I should never have trusted you. People never change and you certainly never will. My phone keeps ringing but I keep ignoring it.
I'll come back later and I'll kick you out. You don't deserve to live in that house.
I sigh when I remember I have to go to the set tomorrow, to make things worse. I wish life would just stop. But of course it never does, and I can't say home. I press my face into my pillow and sigh. At least I have somewhere safe to be away from you. Even if I only have 3 sets of clothes and room service to rely on for meals, and nothing but a free shaving kit to take care of myself with.
I call up room service and order some dinner, trying to put things out of my mind. I succeed for a while. I force myself to forget about you.
Stupid, lying, piece of shit, YOU.
My cheek still burns. I never should have trusted you... I shake my head and put these thoughts out. I turn the television on to get my mind off everything.
How could I have been so stupid? Stupid enough to fall for you. All those times I was stupid enough to take pity on you and let us 'start over'.
I quickly eat my food and then settle down to sleep, even though its hardly 9:30. I knock out before I hit the pillow.
-------------------
Work is the nightmare I knew it was going to be, but not much worse. I'm almost too tired/upset to work, but I put all my emotions into my character and I make it through - I even do really well. I just need to grin and bear it for a few more weeks...days... of shooting.
Jackson, the producor, knows something's up. He keeps asking me if I'm okay and if I need a break. I just shake my head and smile, moving on.
It becomes absolute hell, when I see.... guess who??
I stare at the room as you start walking towards me, and right there, both my brain and my mind crash and burn. Lord knows how you were allowed in.... but I don't have time to think about that before I'm crushed in your tight embrace.
"Getoff," I couch, and you pull away.
"Nicky, I'm so sorry," you say as I roll my eyes and tears fall from yours. "I didn't mean to hit you, I just list it! I really didn't. I just want you to listen to me! I need you, Nick, I've realized my mistake and I know it was huge... they were huge. I just want to forget them all, Nick, I love you endlessly. Please."
I try to interrupt multiple times but then I give up and hear you out. Over my shoulder, Jackson is smiling and nodding at me. I put my head down, then look up at you.
"One condition."
"Anything!!"
"You go to rehab."
I should never have trusted you. People never change and you certainly never will. My phone keeps ringing but I keep ignoring it.
I'll come back later and I'll kick you out. You don't deserve to live in that house.
I sigh when I remember I have to go to the set tomorrow, to make things worse. I wish life would just stop. But of course it never does, and I can't say home. I press my face into my pillow and sigh. At least I have somewhere safe to be away from you. Even if I only have 3 sets of clothes and room service to rely on for meals, and nothing but a free shaving kit to take care of myself with.
I call up room service and order some dinner, trying to put things out of my mind. I succeed for a while. I force myself to forget about you.
Stupid, lying, piece of shit, YOU.
My cheek still burns. I never should have trusted you... I shake my head and put these thoughts out. I turn the television on to get my mind off everything.
How could I have been so stupid? Stupid enough to fall for you. All those times I was stupid enough to take pity on you and let us 'start over'.
I quickly eat my food and then settle down to sleep, even though its hardly 9:30. I knock out before I hit the pillow.
-------------------
Work is the nightmare I knew it was going to be, but not much worse. I'm almost too tired/upset to work, but I put all my emotions into my character and I make it through - I even do really well. I just need to grin and bear it for a few more weeks...days... of shooting.
Jackson, the producor, knows something's up. He keeps asking me if I'm okay and if I need a break. I just shake my head and smile, moving on.
It becomes absolute hell, when I see.... guess who??
I stare at the room as you start walking towards me, and right there, both my brain and my mind crash and burn. Lord knows how you were allowed in.... but I don't have time to think about that before I'm crushed in your tight embrace.
"Getoff," I couch, and you pull away.
"Nicky, I'm so sorry," you say as I roll my eyes and tears fall from yours. "I didn't mean to hit you, I just list it! I really didn't. I just want you to listen to me! I need you, Nick, I've realized my mistake and I know it was huge... they were huge. I just want to forget them all, Nick, I love you endlessly. Please."
I try to interrupt multiple times but then I give up and hear you out. Over my shoulder, Jackson is smiling and nodding at me. I put my head down, then look up at you.
"One condition."
"Anything!!"
"You go to rehab."