Hope Begins to Fade

Hope Begins To Fade Ch. 19- Scream To The Silence

We stepped in the house, giggling. We threw the bags on the floor. “Beat it without a stick!” I laughed.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Jaz joined in.

“Uh! It sounded SO wrong!” Val sighed.

“Well aren’t you girls hyper?” Jimmy hugged me.

“Bonding moments…” Johnny sighed, clasping his hands together. “Gotta love ‘em!” everyone laughed.

I glanced at Brian who sat staring at me with a drink in his hands. His eyes were glazed over and I had a strange feeling he was buzzed. I walked upstairs, not looking back. I knew he was coming after me…

“Scar! Hey!” he called. I didn’t stop till we were in our room. “So… did you figure out what you’re doing?”

“No.” I stated. “But why didn’t you ask me to go? Why was it my ex?”

“I was nervous! I don’t wanna leave you.”

“Brian, if I didn’t go, I doubt our relationship will last. I mean, long-distance ones are hard and especially when you’re with a rock star who goes around fucking all the time!” I said harshly. He glared at me and I instantly knew I shouldn’t have said that…

“I told you I’m not going to cheat on you!” he growled, setting his beer down. He came closer to me. “Why won’t you listen?”

“Believe me, I want to.” I held back the tears that threatened to fall. “But I’ve been promised things before.”

“By Matt? That’s a different story! You can’t keep comparing me to him!” he screamed, grabbing my arm.

“That’s kinda hard to do when you’ve been hurt so bad by the man you used to love and the man you love now.” My words struck a nerve. He pressed his nails into my skin, grinding his teeth, and I continued. “Brian, you hurt me so bad. You promised me things and I never doubted you. Obviously that was a wrong decision on my part…” he raised his hand and slapped me across the face. It stung and I felt my arm bleeding from his nails. He stepped back, still angry.

“If you wanna say shit like that, maybe I don’t want you with us!” he yelled, about to throw his beer bottle. He glanced up at me and saw me holding my cheek as tears fell from my eyes… “Scar…” he fell to his knees. “I’m so sorry…sweetie, I-I didn’t mean to…” he grabbed my hand.

“Don’t touch me.” I tried to scream but it came out as a whisper…

“Scar! Please! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! I didn’t want to hurt you! I want you to come…I-” tears fell from his eyes. The Great Synyster Gates was crying. Kinda comical.

“Whatever…” my voice broke and I pulled out of his grasp and walked to the bathroom. I needed to wash off this feeling…

Brian’s POV

I hurt her… I actually hurt her. She wouldn’t be able to trust me again. There I go, chasing away the ones I love…she wont come for sure now…

I heard the water start for a shower. I slammed my hand to the floor and sobbed…

I finally lost her…

Scar’s POV

My heart ached as I stepped into the shower. The hot beads of water ran down my body, stinging the scars and nixing with my tears.

Brian’s POV

I leaned against the wall, falling to the floor and resting my head on my knees. Tears fell down my cheeks and I heard a noise…

Scar began singing…

Say your sorry
That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to
As I pace back and forth all this time
'Cause I honestly believed in you
Holdin' on
The days drag on
Stupid girl, I should've known
I should've known
That I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse
To come around…

Scar’s POV

My voice rang and I didn’t care who heard…

Maybe I was naive
Got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance
My mistake I didn't know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings,
Now I know…

I belted it out…this was how I felt…

And there you are on your knees
Beggin' for forgiveness. Beggin' for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm soo sorry.....
That I'm not your princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world
That was a small town
There in my rear view mirror dissapearin' now
Now it's too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now.....

~~~

I stepped out of the shower and got dressed, brushed my hair, and put a little eyeliner on. As I reached to open the door, I sighed. Brian sat leaned against the wall. He instantly stood and wiped his tears.

“Sweetie, I’m sorry.” He said. I honestly didn’t know what to do, so I nodded and walked to the living room.

“Scar! Come sit!” Johnny called, patting the empty seat next to him on the couch. I walked over to them and Jimmy stood.

“You look like you could use a hug full of Jimmy!” he laughed then embraced me.

“Thanks!” I hugged back and soon sat down next to Johnny and him.

“Everything ok, sexyshorts?” Johnny patted my head. I smiled at my nickname.

“You and Gates fighting?” Matt questioned. I nodded. “About what?”

“And why’s your cheek so red?” Johnny put his hand to my cheek. “And hot!?” He put his cold beer against my face.

“Nothing. Never mind.” When I spoke, Matt gave me a sorrowful look. I put my head on Johnny’s shoulder and closed my eyes.

Matt’s POV

I hate seeing her like this…what the fuck did Gates do to her!?

I watched her sit with her head on Johnny’s shoulder and his arm around her. She practically replaced me with him. Probably ‘cause he’s single. I used to be that close with her; helping her when she was down, patching her wounds, watching her sleep, letting her rest her head on my shoulder… back then, everything was spiraling down…but at least we had each other…

She looked so peaceful with her eyes closed… I found myself staring…

“Matt, what ‘cha thinking bout?” Val broke through my thoughts.

I glanced from Scar to Val…

This was SO wrong…

Brian’s POV

She hates me. I doubt she’ll ever feel the same. I keep fucking up!

My thoughts continued to pain me and usually I’d push them away. This time, I deserved it…

She’s never gonna talk to me again…

I lay on my bed…our bed, staring at the ceiling…

Scar’s POV

My thoughts drug on to what would happen if he left…did I really want to stay here? But…he hit me…

I stood, grabbing Johnny’s hand and pulling him off the couch.

“Oohh! Where we goin, sexy shorts?” he asked, making me smile.

We got in the kitchen and I leaned against the counter. “Johnny, can you get Matt?”

He leaned in the doorframe of the kitchen, looking into the living room. “Shadows, come here!” Matt soon entered the room.

“Scar? What’s wrong?” he embraced me as tears flowed down my cheeks.

“Syn…he…” I whispered and he pulled back. “Hit me.”

“WHAT!?” Matt and Johnny screamed.

“Hell no! You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!!!” Matt yelled.

“Gates! Get the fuck down here!” Johnny called.

“Guys! No…I-” I said.

“NO! He can’t fucking treat you like this!” Matt screamed.

He took my hand and stormed up the stairs. Johnny followed, holding my other hand. Matt pounded on the door. When no one answered, he pushed it open. Syn sat up slowly on the bed. He stayed silent.

“Gates! What the fuck!?” Matt let go of my hand and stormed up to Syn. “I heard what you did, motherfucker! Why the fuck did you hit her!? What the hell’s wrong with you!?” he paused. “Get the fuck up!” Syn obeyed, wearily getting to his feet. Johnny held me close. “Why the fuck did you hit her!?” Matt’s face was red in anger. “First you cheat on her then abuse her!?” he yet again paused. “What the fuck’s your problem? Can’t even fucking talk now!?” Syn stayed silent. “What the fuck, dude, she just wanted you guys to be happy! She thought she even fucking loved you! And you gotta go fuck up again; I mean as if cheating on her weren’t enough!”

Matt laid a crisp right-hook onto Syn’s jaw.