Hope Begins to Fade

Hope Begins to Fade Ch. 30- If You Only Knew

Brian lie there; everyone was in bed, and I lie next to him. I sighed, closing my eyes…

If you only knew
I'm hanging by a thread
The web I spin for you
If you only knew

Brian’s POV

My eyes slowly opened, pain coursing through my body. My head throbbed through the silence. I looked down, Scar lying in my arms. I smiled a bit; she looked so cute. I noticed tears on her cheeks; was she crying in her sleep?

I'd sacrifice my beating
Heart before I lose you
I still hold onto the letters
You returned
I swear I've lived and learned…

Kissing her forehead, I wiped her tears and soon succumbed to sleep.

When I woke up again, Scar was gone. I sat up, getting out of the bed and noticing the door cracked open and I light on. I crept to the door, pushing it open. Scar sat at the table, a beer in her hand and a sorrowful look stricken on her face…

It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing that I still believe
In is you, if you only knew

“Sweetie…” I stumbled over to the seat next to her. She looked up. “You ok?”

She looked away, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault…”

“How? I had an anxiety attack. How is that your fault?”

“If I didn’t sit on Matt’s lap, he wouldn’t have been flirting.” I looked at her.

“Something else is wrong.” I stated, knowing by her look.

“No…I’m just…uh…tired.” She said, finishing her beer.

I knew something else was up but I decided to let it go. She needed sleep.

If you only knew
How many times I counted
All the words that went wrong
If you only knew
How I refuse to let you go,
Even when you're gone
I don't regret any days I
Spent, nights we shared,
Or letters that I sent

Scar’s POV

He stared down at me, his eyes dark and menacing. I bit my lip as he tore my pants off me. “No, please. I’ll do anything!” I sobbed. He grinned, tightening the cuffs on my hands. I fought, thrashing but it was futile. He pushed into me; pain escalating through my body. I felt blood rush out; the lips of my vagina aching as he tore my skin. Screams ravaged the silence of the dark room.

“No! Stop! Please!” I screamed.

Brian’s POV

I woke up as Scar thrashed around. She fought; sweat covering her body, tears falling from her eyes. “Scar, calm down. Wake up!” I said. By now, everyone was up, Jimmy turned on the lights; everyone staring at her as she screamed.

“No! Stop! Please!” her voice carried through the room. I held her close though she kicked and punched me, sobbing. Her eyes opened and she gasped.

“Scar you ok?” Johnny asked. She nodded, clinging to me.

“It was just a nightmare.” I hushed, rubbing her back. “What happened?”

“Drake…he…” she coughed. “He raped me…”

Silence befell the room again. What could we say? She was having nightmares about her past. I swear, one day I am going to beat the shit out of this guy… Soon, everyone gave her a pat on the back or a kiss on the head and turned the lights off, climbing back into bed.

If you only knew
I still hold onto the letters
You returned
You help me live and learn

“Baby, I wont let him hurt you again. I love you.” I whispered, wiping her tears once more.

It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me

“I love you too.” She soon fell asleep.

The only thing that I still believe in is you
If you only knew…