Hope Begins to Fade

Hope Begins To Fade Ch. 7- Love That We Had

It took no time to get to their hours. He gave me the keys as we walked in. Instantly, we were bombarded with the guys. They all came in for hugs which cheered me up…for a bit. Then I saw Matt sitting there, drinking. I walked over to him.

“Matt” I said, making him look up.

“Oh! Hey! What’s up?” he faked a smile and I sat next to him.

“Don’t try to fool me. I know you still. You want her back.” I took his shades off him and he looked down. “Alright. I can see this is tearing you apart so…” I handed him his shades and stood. “Tomorrow, you guys will never see me again.”

I could feel every eye on me in the silence. I grabbed a beer and turned, walking towards the back door.

“NO!” Matt’s voice echoed through the house. I turned to him.

“Matt. It’s for your own good. I if don’t leave, you’ll never see her again and…”

“No. She’s torn enough away from me now. Not you too.” He sneered. The boys stared. “She’ll have to get over it. I…I missed you…”

“I missed you too but…I don’t know anymore…” I walked out to the back porch and sat down.

My thoughts clouded my mind. I wanted to stay. The guys were amazing, Jaz seemed to be having a great time! Everything was great! And Matt…the memories are amazing…but painful. I miss the way things used to be. Back when we were in love and nothing else mattered. But I should leave or he won’t get back with Val…and that’s what I want, right? Or was Syn right? Did I really still love him or was it just the memories I loved…

Just then, the door opened and out walked Syn.

“Hey.” He sat next to me. “You alright?”

“Confused. Should I leave?” I looked up at him.

“Nope.” He drank his beer.

“But, Val won’t come back then.” I said.

“She says a lot of shit but she’ll be back.”

Jasmine ran out and embraced me. “Hey girly!”

“Don’t die!!!” she said.

“Huh?”

“He told us about your anxiety attack.” She let go and sat next to me. I finished my beer, nodding.

“Here, I’ll get you another.” Brian grabbed it and stood, walking inside.

“So you seem to be hanging with him a lot. What’s up with that?”

“Oh, he’s just so great! Amazing guy!”

“Sure…there’s more to it!” She laughed. “well, I’ going back in, it’s cold out here…” she walked inside and I realized I was still wearing Brian’s coat.

“Ohh Scar!!” he called. “You wanna go sing some karaoke?” he handed me my beer and I drank some.

“Maybe later.” I said. Without another word, he slung me over his shoulder, spilling some of my beer might I add, and carried me inside. He throws me on the couch, his face mere inches from mine and whispered ‘You’re first, sweetie.’

I blush and Johnny hands me the mic. Brian sat down, holding my beer. “Hey, Scar! Random!” Johnny began pressing buttons continuously with his eyes closed until he pressed play. I glanced at the screen then Matt. He was staring at me, his eyes glazed over obviously he was drunk. I knew every word to this song and sang it with Jasmine all the time. ‘Used To’ by Daughtry…

I’ll admit, my voice is great. One of my few talents. The song began…

~~~

“You used to talk to me like I was the only one around. You used to lean on me like the only other choice was falling down. You used to walk with me like we had nowhere we needed to go, nice and slow, to no place in particular.” I grew louder, looking at Matt who stared back at me; his expression sad. Memories flooded though my mind as I continued.

“We used to have this figured out; we used to breathe without a doubt. When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see. We used to have this under control. We never thought .We used to know. At least there's you, and at least there's me. Can we get this back? Can we get this back to how it used to be?” Before I could continue, a cell phone rang. Johnny paused the music. I guess it was Matt’s cell cause the guys told him to pick it up. He was in a daze but after the guys yelling, he snapped out of it and grabbed his cell, answering it unemotionally.

“Hello…” he sat up, his eyes wide. “Val?” my heart broke a little. “Really? I don’t think she has to get over anything. And she has a name so I’d like it if you called her by it…that’s better. But…really? You’re gonna come? Alright. Bye.” He hung up, smiling at us. “She’s coming here. She doesn’t care about what happened.”

I glanced over at Brian, Johnny, Zacky and Jimmy who gave me sympathetic looks. I threw the mic to Johnny and went to sit but there was nowhere. I sighed and began walking away when someone grabbed my hand. Before I knew it, I was on someone’s lap. I glanced up to see Brian.

“Don’t leave. Not yet.” He winked, handing me my beer which he drank half of. I nodded and drank some.

“Hey sweetie!” I said to Jaz. “Do you have to be back anytime soon?” She shook her head. “Alright. Good.”

Suddenly the door opened. And of course, in walked Val. I looked away, putting my head on Brian’s chest.

“It’s ok.” He whispered. I took his fedora and placed it on my head, making him chuckle. I stood and walked out the back door as Val and Matt hugged. The wind blew lightly in my hair as I sat on the swing. My thoughts were all over the place; I was so confused… I sighed; closing my eyes then opening them and staring at the moon.

I used to reach for you when
I got lost along the way.
I used to listen.

You always had just the right thing to say.
I used to follow you.
Never really cared where we would go,
Fast or slow, to anywhere at all.

I heard her annoying voice as she talked to all the guys and heard Jaz talking to Zacky. I pictured Matt then Brian…

“I look around me,
And I want you to be there
'Cause I miss the things that we shared.
Look around you.
It's empty, and you're sad
'Cause you miss the love that we had.

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around,
The only one around.” I sang but stopped when I heard footsteps. Brian sat down with me.

“Hey.” He paused. “You have a beautiful voice.” I blushed.

“Thanks.” I grabbed his beer, drinking some.

It grew silent inside. I stared at Brian, both of us wondering what was going on. We suddenly heard Val’s shrill voice.

“Yes, Matt, alright! So I do want her gone but I’m never gonna get that so I might as well deal with it, huh?”

“She’s a great person and obviously isn’t gonna steal Matt from you or she already would have.” Zacky shouted.

“And how are you so sure?” she snapped.

“You were gone and she could’ve gotten with him.” Johnny said. I smiled to myself; the guys were defending me! “Besides, I doubt she’d do that. And don’t you have any faith in Matt?”

She was obviously offended. “This has nothing to do with you, Johnny Christ! So don’t even get involved!”

It grew silent. Finally, Matt was heard. “Yeah, really. You actually believe I’d cheat on you!?”

“Well…” she began harsh but her voice got soft and sad. “Honestly, yes. I mean, look at her…she’s pretty, you guys say she’s nice… she’s everything a man could want and you know her really well…”

“She IS hot, dude!” Johnny commented and again, someone whistled. I glanced at Brian, blushing as he stared at me.

“Not helping.” Val sighed.

“Come on, I say we go inside.” Brian stood and I did as well. He suddenly grabbed my hand and led me to the house. Every eye was on us.

“Hey guys!” Jimmy yelled, lightening the mood as Brian sat, pulling me on his lap yet again.

“You know, Mr. Gates, I can sit somewhere else. There’s more seats.” I whispered. He grinned.

“No, if Val gets too pissed, there might be some nut-kicking so I’d prefer a shield.” He chuckled as I gave him an upset expression. “And call me Brian.”

I realized that Jaz was next to us so I leaned back, laying on her and Brian. She looked down at me. “Hey sexy!” I laughed.

She began laughed as well. “Only you.”

I glanced over at Zacky who sat next to her and poked him. He looked down at me, completely confused at first of who poked him. He laughed.

“Jaz, your best friend is crazy!” he commented.

“I know.” She laughed. Finally I sat up, slowly stealing more beer from Brian. He shook his head with a grin.

“Matt…” Val said, trying to be quiet. We all heard her and looked over. “Is she a whore?”

“That’s it!” I sighed. Everyone looked at me. “Matt, I’m leaving tomorrow cause she’s never gonna change.” I fumed. She smirked.

“Alright, I’m going to bed! Goodnight!” she ran upstairs happily.

“No, Scar, please…think it through I-…” Matt began.

“I thought it through and your girlfriend’s a bitch! I don’t like her. So, no. I’m leaving tomorrow.”

Everyone stayed silent.