Hope Begins to Fade

Hope Begins to Fade Ch. 73- She Will Always Be

“Sweetie, wake up.” Someone shook me. It was too early…

“Never…” I moaned, turning over.

“We’re leaving now. Matt told me to let you sleep as long as possible so I packed for you. Everything’s on the bus. You ready?” Brian asked as I sat up.

“I’m staying in my pj’s though.” I crossed my arms across my chest.

“Sure.” He laughed as I got up. He took my hand and we began down the stairs. “Your dad’s been blasting country music all morning.” Brian complained.

“Yeah. That’s a flaw of his. I hate country. But, there’s only a few good artists and songs.” I explained.

Everyone stood in the living room, talking to my parents. They grew quiet as they noticed us, watching us.

As is stepped on the last stair, another song played from the radio…

I came to see her daddy for sit down man to man
It wasn't any secret I’d be asking for her hand
I guess that's why he left me waiting in the living room by myself
with at least a dozen pictures of her sitting on a shelf

Everyone in the room just seemed to stop. My eyes were glued on my parents, more of my dad. What amazed me was that this song played. My dad would always play it for me…

She was playing Cinderella
She was riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes I’m Prince Charming
But to him I’m just some fella
riding in and stealing Cinderella

My eyes filled with tears as I listened to the lyrics…

I leaned in towards those pictures to get a better look at one
When I heard a voice behind me say "Now, ain't she something, son?"
I said "Yes, she quite a woman" and he just stared at me
Then I realized that in his eyes she would always be

This song hit me even harder now… with Brian and all, it meant so much…

Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes I’m Prince Charming
But to him I’m just some fella riding in and stealing Cinderella

Brian let go of my hand, his eyes a bit watery as well as mine. Dad walked a bit closer to me, a smile across his face. His eyes were the strong blue ones I’d looked into when I was just a little girl. He’d always been the one to comfort me. Daddy and I never fought. He’d always help me after a blow-up with mom… In this moment, it was as if time stood still...
I embraced him tightly, not wanting to let go but knowing we had to get back on tour… I never thought I’d miss him this much already…

He slapped me on the shoulder
Then he called her in the room
When she threw her arms around him
That's when I could see it too

I was crying by now, the tears streamed down silently… Behind dad’s shoulder, I saw Brian was staring at the two of us. I’d imagine the lyrics hit him hard…

She was Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
If he gives me a hard time
I can't blame the fella
I'm the one who's stealing Cinderella

Daddy kissed me on the cheek and then mom hugged me too.

“We’re gonna miss you.” mom whispered through her tears.

“I’ll miss you too.” I said lightly, attempting to be strong.

“Everything that happened back then, it’s in the past now, right?” mom whispered, her eyes brimming with tears more. I noticed she regretted it. All the things she did to me. The nights we screamed at each to her. The stupid arguments. Then that night she went out…no, I can’t think of that now. Not when I’m leaving…

But she didn’t want us to have this the way it was when I was younger…

“Right.” I said, a bit of a lie. I couldn’t forget. I forgave. But I can’t forget it all…

She hugged me tighter and I noticed Daytona, Val, and Jaz wiping their tears. “Alright. We should go.” I said to her.

“Ok.” she let go of me and I wiped my tears.

We made our way to the door, everyone thanking them for letting us stay that long, and waving goodbye as they walked to the tour bus.

Tears streamed down my face as I hugged them again and left, holding tightly onto Brian’s hand.

I sat on the tour bus, staring out the window. Someone sat next to me. Brian and Matt.

“You alright?” Matt asked, looking me in the eyes. I nodded, watching Jimmy show Daytona around the bus. “Good. ‘Cause I don’t like you sad.”

“Scar.” Brian took my hand. “I know you by now. That look, there’s something wrong…” was I really that transparent to him? He knew me so well…

“I know…”

“What is it?” Matt asked. They both looked at me.

“If I tell you, will you promise not to say anything else? I don’t wanna ruin everyone else’s fun.” They nodded. I breathed in… “Ok, well… before I left home, after mom and I had gotten into a huge fight, she went driving. That day, we’d gotten a call about one of her coworkers. She died. Of lung cancer. She got cancer in her spinal cord and it went into the bones. We’d found out about it a day before she passed. We’d researched and found out she only had 3 months at the most to live. Once it’s in your bones… you know.” I felt the tears brimming up. “And she had a daughter who’d just graduated high school and a son who just graduated college. It was horrible… she died, was only 47. My mom was torn up and we thought she’d treat us better, you know? Help us out ‘cause her friend would never get any more time with her family. So we’d treated her great, feeling the same way. But she just was pissed… She got into a car accident that night.” Matt breathed in quickly, as well as Brian, shocked. “And she was in the hospital for 2 weeks. They thought something else was wrong with her… but it wasn’t. She came home, was fine for 3 months. And then, I had enough. That was when I left home. And I regret it… My mom had asked today if everything was ok between us, almost as if she regretted treating me like that all those years…” I shook my head. “I’ve just been thinking about that… No big deal…”

Matt embraced me tightly. “I know it’s hard. But, we’re all here for you now.”

“Yeah.” Brian kissed me.

“Thanks, boys. I’m feeling better already!”

“Come on! Guys! Party!” Daytona called.

I laughed as Brian held out his hand, taking my own, and kissing it. Giggling, I went over and spent the rest of the night with those I love, not forgetting my family…