Hope Begins to Fade

Hope Begins to Fade Ch. 81- Stealing My Time

Brian’s POV

I stood at the door, listening. I’d planned on going in after Matt. But I felt bad; Matt would have to carry this on his shoulders. I know it’s not his fault but I can never seem to change his mind; especially when it’s something like this…

I listened in to every word he spoke. Of love and pain. Friendship; her being a fighter, having too much to live for… Then I smiled, what a true friend!

Glancing in the room, I’d hoped to find him crying. I’d found a different scene.

He leaned down and kissed her.

I backed up a bit, staring.

“I love you.” he spoke, my heart burst with pain and anger. And I stormed down the hall; anger exploding, raging through me. Now, I was pissed, scared, nervous, loved, blessed, and confused.

“You ok?” Val asked as I took a seat in the waiting room.

“Yeah. Fine.” I spat in a soft tone.

What do I do? Do I tell him I know?

Do I confront him about it now ‘cause he’s all pissed and it won’t be as bad?

Will it be worse if I do?

Do I shake it off and let go?

Can I let go?

Is Scar gonna be ok?

Does Matt really love her?

What will I do without her?

Do I act normal so he doesn’t know I was practically spying on him?

Do I tell her what happened if she wakes up?

She’s not gonna know he did; wouldn’t have felt anything; she’s passed out.

Do I tell Val?

All my thoughts stopped as Matt came in the waiting room with us.

I decided to go to Scar.

When I entered her room, all hope was gone. I’d hoped I’d walk in and she’d be awake…

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I sat and looked at her perfection. “Scar, Baby. You mean so much to me… Now we have a baby girl and I need you. Always have. You can’t leave me. I won’t be able to go on without you. You’re my everything.”

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning

“Please, just don’t give up. I need you with me and so does Serenity.” I continued, tears falling freely. I didn’t mind. For the first time all day, I didn’t wipe them away. Just let them silently roll down my cheeks as I glazed down, contemplating what could be done…

The answer was obvious.

Nothing.

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

As I was about to leave, I looked at the floor where my tears were now falling.

My hand rest on the cold, steel doorframe for what seemed like minutes, my chest rising and falling rapidly in a weak attempt to hold back the sobs. My quivering was bit harshly as I stared up at the ceiling, ‘Dear God, the only thing I ask of you…’

“Scarlet, I love you.” I whispered through my now evident sobs.

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating

“…I love you too.” I heard a whisper. My heart leapt, hopeful that I wasn’t imagining things. I turned quickly.

In the pain is the healing
In your name I find meaning…

“Scar!” I gasped.

“What’s wrong?” her voice was weak and broken. But still strong. She’s the strongest person I’ve ever known.

“I didn’t think you’d wake up, I-” I stopped, screaming down the hall. “We need someone in here!”

So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

In a second, the doctor ran back in. He pushed me out of the room and I stood in the doorframe, watching them work on her, checking if she was alright.

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hangin' on to the words you say
You said that I will, will be ok

I stared from the doorway once again. Tears of joy falling this time. ‘She’s ok’ I told myself, repeating those sacred words continuously in my head. ‘she’s ok!!!!’

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, having forgot my way home

My eyes filled with tears once again as my mind flashed to everything. Her laughing, jumping into my arms, the wind blowing through her long dark hair that night I asked her out, her love for me, seeing Drake strike fear into her.

The nights we just laid together in our bed on the tour bus; staring at the bunk above us, bodies pressed together, her head on my chest. I could remember the warmth, the love. The passion in her eyes when she looked into mine in our kiss that night.

The night she told me she was pregnant.

All our memories flooded through and I was thankful that she’s alright now. She’s awake! She’s ok! Thank you, God.

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on

“Is she ok?” Matt came up behind me, resting his hand on my shoulder.

“Mr. Haner. We’ve checked everything. Blood pressure’s normal, a little below actually; which is great!” I smiled at the doctor’s words.

“Thanks, doc!” I grinned. “So, we’ll be able to go home when everyone’s ready?” I was so thrilled.

“As long as the baby is ready, which she will be by tomorrow we know, then, yes. So expect to be ready by tomorrow. But, if you’d like to stay longer, you may.”

“No, we need to get back on tour.” I nodded, smiling at him as he walked away, nodding.

I turned my gaze back to Scarlet, seeing past the nurse who was putting something in her IV as I ignored the awkward feeling in my stomach from Matt standing there, his words to her replaying in my mind… ‘I love you…’