Hope Begins to Fade

Matt and Brian instantly stood, their chairs screeching against the floor. Thankfully the music was loud enough that no one heard. My parents as well as Brian’s are now outside with Serenity.

“What the fuck are you doing back here, you piece of shit?” Matt yelled.

“You need to stay the fuck away from my wife.” Brian seethed, grinding his teeth.

Val, Daytona and Jaz scooted closer to me. Jimmy put his hand on my arm. I thought the others would be yelling just as Matt and Brian were. I realized they knew the two had it covered. Zacky and Johnny held a gaze with me, anger in their eyes and pain in mine.

I wanted to hold my daughter at this moment. I wanted to quite her cries and whisper that it would be okay; more reassurance to me than her. She was like therapy to me.

“What the fuck do you want?” Matt snapped.

Silence. Nothing. No reply.

My head snapped back to Drake. I saw something I hadn’t in a while…

“Why the fuck don’t you talk?” Brian screamed.

“I…” Drake practically whispered then got courage. “You’re the only one who can help me.”

“Help you?” Johnny, Zacky and Jimmy now took a turn at yelling. In unison, might I add.

“Yes. I-I woke up months ago. I was in a dumpster in an alleyway. I didn’t know anything.” He paused, “I crawled out of it and tried to remember anything. Anything at all. I searched my pockets, I had no ID. No wallet.” I watched as Matt somewhat smirked at that. What’d he do? “There was nothing but some spare change and a picture.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out a photo. Of me. It was taken a few years ago; Drake, when he was a wonderful guy, and I. There was a difference in his eyes than I remembered. The memories I had of him haunted me. “On the back was a note.” He handed it to me and I viewed my own handwriting. ‘I had a great time that day and I hope you did too sweetie. Call me, just got my new number. 555-8649. ~Scarlet Kilbane♥’ I remember that day. We’d been at the park; a picnic he’d made for me. The picture was taken on my new camera. “I didn’t know where else to go but I knew that was a start.”

“Fuck…” I heard Matt mumble, stepping a bit closer to me.

“I called the number to find out someone name Emily had the number now. She didn’t know a Scarlet Kilbane.” He sighed, scratching the back of his neck, “So I looked you up, did everything to find out who you were because you’d seem to be the only one who would know me. I didn’t even know me…”

“For fuck’s sake…” Brian sighed, walking backwards and leaning on the wall. I could feel his anger. He wanted to deck the guy, I could tell.

“I found out where you used to live and went to visit. It took me forever but when I got there, I found out that you’d moved. Your neighbor knew you and told me where I could find you. That’s when I came to your old house; next to an M. Shadows, whom I also didn’t know. No one was home and I found out from the neighbor that he was on tour. I decided to do some research at the library and found that he was the lead singer of a band called Avenged Sevenfold. They were touring all over. So I followed but never seemed to be where they were.”

“Stalker?” Jimmy muttered. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“So I finally got to a show; in Tampa. It was really fantastic and I had a great time. The band was really talented and I’d heard M. Shadows have the crowd cheer for Synyster Gates because he was getting married soon to a girl named Scarlet Kilbane. I instantly knew I had to find her. So I looked it up online and found out where you were.”

“Stalker.” Jimmy said, determined Drake was a stalker.

“So, Scarlet, right?” he looked at me. I gasped slightly from his eyes. I remembered them the most. The anger that could be seen in them. “Can you tell me. Who am I?”

Every memory flashed back to me speedily. I saw it all; the nights I’d cried, Matt helping me, Drake beating and raping me. All of it brought tears of anger in my eyes and I replied to Drake, “You’re a complete fucking asshole.”

“What?” he was taken aback.

“You don’t remember, do you? You don’t remember any of it!? The pain and hell you put me through?” I sobbed.

He remained quiet, averting his gaze to the floor, “no.”

“Well you were an ass. You fucking hurt me.”

“Did I?” he looked up at me, tears in his eyes, “I was afraid of that.” I jumped back a bit, feeling Johnny’s hand on my shoulder. “I woke up blood, bruised and broken. I didn’t go to the hospital because I felt like I deserved it. I wanted to know who I was. I lost everything. All of my life, my memory, my friends and family; if I had any. All I had was that picture; a hope that in the past, I’d made someone happy.”

I cried harder. I don’t know why, but I did.

“Well, you didn’t.” Matt snapped.

Drake sighed, “That’s what I’d feared… Thank you for your time, everyone.” He hung his head low and began a slow departure to the door.

“Wait,” I called. He stopped and everyone faced me, shocked. “just…wait.” A part of me hoped that I could make him a good person again. That I could possibly change him; make sure I saved someone. I wanted to save him and the possible women he raped. I wanted to know that the other women he’d raped would find hope in this. Maybe, just maybe, if I could help him, I could help the women he’s raped. Maybe I could help myself… “your name was Drake. Drake Jenkins.” Tears filled my eyes from the happy memories I had with him, “and you were once a good man.” His head shot in my direction, hope filled his eyes.

“I…I was?” he whispered softly.

I nodded, “Guys, I need to talk to him.” Brian glared at me as did Matt.

“What? Why help him?”

“I…just need to. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I do.” Jaz spoke up. We shared a look only best friends could. “She wants to make him a good person again. She wants to see if this will be therapy for her; a new beginning for him. She wants to calm the nightmares.”

“Thank you, Jaz.” I kissed her cheek and walked over to Drake.

“Someone needs to stay with her, to make sure he doesn’t try anything.” Jimmy muttered.

“I want to tare him a new asshole.” Brian snapped.

“I’ll fucking tare him two.” Matt piped in.

“Okay, you two are out.” Jimmy chuckled.

“I’ll do it.” Zacky stepped up, kissing Jaz and walking over to me.

The three of us found another room, a changing room. We sat down on the floor in the corner.

“Can I ask you some things?” Drake asked. I nodded, holding Zacky’s hand. “How old am I?”

“You’re…” I thought, trying to remember, “Twenty-seven. Your birthday is October 15th.”

“We dated?”

I held in tears, “Yes, we did. For a long time.” I sighed, “You were wonderful,” his face lit up, “until a few months into the relationship. I wasn’t giving you sex and you were getting angry. You…you raped me and beat me.” Zacky squeezed my hand.

“I…I did?” Drake lowered his head.

“Yes. Every day. For months straight. You told me not to leave. If I did, you’d kill me or Matt.” I shook, tears rolling down my face from the memories. “It was horrible. I felt so trapped…nothing got me out of the depressions you sent me into and I cried so many nights.”

“How’d you get away?” he asked.

“Matt. He took me away from there and you threatened us but we got away.” I nodded.

“He’s a good man.”

“That he is.” Zacky and I spoke in unison.

He asked me more questions and I told him. Whatever he wanted to know.

“I never thought I’d be talking to you about this. I never thought we’d ever have a civil conversation again.”

“I’m sorry.” He spoke. “I was a terrible person, I know it.”

I leaned against Zacky, his arm wrapped around me comfortingly, “Yes, you were. I was lucky enough to get away, as were your other victims.”

“Other victims?”

“Yeah, you raped other girls. You told me about it all the time, as if it were something to be proud of. You felt dominant when you did it.”

“I never want to feel dominant again, then.” He spoke.

“Oh, Matt told me about the ID cards. We beat the shit out of you because you raped Scar during our performance. You sent her into an early labor. Luckily she survived, though she was suspected not to.” Zacky held me tighter. “The ambulance got there and took Scar away while she had contractions. Matt and Jimmy beat the shit out of you and took your wallet. Matt threw it all out, I think.”

I was just informed of this and was shocked, “Really?” I laughed, “it was the right thing to do, at the time.”

Drake smiled lightly, it lifted his features and I realized he was an attractive guy. Well, when he wasn’t raping and hurting… “I deserved it and after this, I will thank him for that.” He laughed.

“Yeah, sorry dude, but you were a dick.” Zacky chuckled.

“I know. Well, that’s all going to change. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I want to be happy and loving. This is the new start I needed.” We stood up and entered the ballroom again, dancing people still continuing their prancing.

“Get back here!” I heard Jimmy call, laughing slightly.

“Well, look who it is.” Zacky was staring downward with a smile on his face. He picked Serenity up. “Did ya miss your mommy?”

Serenity clapped, holding her hands out to me. Zacky gave her to me and she giggled loudly. “Hey there sweetie, how are you? Having fun?”

Drake stood there, smiling, “is this your daughter with Synyster?”

“Yes, it is.” Brian came over defensively. His jaw was clenched and he held anger in his eyes.

“Hello, I’d like to thank you for helping me see who I was and who I don’t want to be anymore.” Drake held his hand out to shake.

Brian glanced at it then at him then at me. His big hand took Drake’s slightly smaller one and they shook.

“Thanks for changing.” He muttered.

“Where is Matt?” Drake asked, looking around.

“Here.” Matt stated, walking up.

“Thank you for beating the shit out of me and then taking my wallet.” He held out his hand again, this time to Matt. Matt looked at me with a look that read ‘is-he-serious?’ I smiled and he shook.

“Yeah, I’ll do it any other time. You really put one of my best friends through hell.”

“I know.” He turned to me and looked me in the eyes. “I am truly sorry for ever hurting you. I wish I never did. To see what has occurred and the tears that come when you think back on it, I wish you never held pain in your eyes. It’s good that you have such a great group of friends who helped you through this. You and your husband look stunning together and your child is quite adorable.” He paused, “I wish you the best in life and I hope you find comfort in knowing that I have completely turned around. I’m changed. For the better. Thank you and I am so sorry for ever hurting you.”

I smiled, “Thank you for that. It means a lot. After everything I never thought I’d be hearing this from you.” I switched Serenity to be in my other arm.

“Thank you for helping me.” He nodded at me and began walking out. “I wish you the best in everything, all of you.”

I smiled when he left. I could slowly feel the wounds from my nightmares disappearing…