Hope Begins to Fade

Brian’s anger didn’t shock me one bit. He’d seen the aftershock of what Drake had done to me. If anyone should be angry, I believe it should be Matt. After all, Matt was the one who helped me through every nightmare before Brian; he helped me attempt to get over my cutting faze and he sure as hell helped me push past everything I feared.

We were home now. Brian and I were in our room while Val watched Serenity.

The honeymoon was upon us but all Brian could seem to focus on was yesterday’s events.

I finally broke the silence, “Brian, I realize you’re mad…”

“Mad? No, Scar. I’m fucking furious!”

“Why?”

“Why?” he turned to me, the packing forgotten shortly, “I wonder why you want to even associate yourself with this guy! The guy who raped you multiple times. Who hurt you to the breaking point. Have you forgotten that night?”

“No.”

“It seems like you have. The night that he came backstage and raped you, sending you into labor. He caused us to have a premature child who may not have made it. He brought all the stress and you practically lost your life. Do you remember? We were put through hell from one action.”

“I know, Brian.” I tried staying calm. I knew he was just venting but it was really difficult to cool down while Brian was yelling at me.

He sighed, seeing my hurt expression before I turned away and continued packing. “Look, Scar, I’m so sorry.” I felt his arms around my waist as he kissed my shoulder. “I know I’m freaking out. I’m just…scared I guess.”

“I get that, Bri. Just please understand that I know what I’m doing. I’m sure it scares you but it was therapy for me. I changed him, Brian. Didn’t you see? He was grateful and a completely different person. He was exactly how I was when I first started dating him; sweet and caring.”

“Meaning you want him back.”

I instantly turned to him, shaking my head, “Don’t you get what this means?” I held up my hand, revealing my wedding ring, “after all of this, why would I give any of it up? Our family, our friends, our daughter? No, Brian; I’m feeling perfect right now. And to leave you for anyone else would be insane.”

“Damn straight,” he joked, laughing and kissing my lips.

“So, can we keep packing or are you still gonna be mad at me?”

He smiled, “Hmmm…eh, I’ll stay mad.” He snaked out of my arms, skipping over to his suitcase.

“Bitch.” I laughed.

“Jerk.” He stuck out his tongue.

Gazing at my bag, I found everything I’d packed so far. I had some cute outfits; shorts, tank tops and shirts. I only packed my favorite panties which of course were sexy. I packed my bikini because how could you go to Hawaii without a bikini? I had the other necessities as well. Lastly, I was working on packing my lingerie. I had a few sexy little things in mind and now that we would have time alone, I was ready for anything.

“What ‘cha packing?” he crept over.

“You’ll have to see later.” I closed my bag; done.

“Awww, damn, that’s not even fair.”

“Uh, it will be once we get there. I’m sure you won’t have one thing to complain about.”

I forgot something and slipped it in my bag. Ever since I’d given birth, I began taking birth control pills. I know, I know; stupid but I feel comfortable with them. They make me feel like I’m taking things in my own hands.

“Sounds like a plan.” Brian winked at me.

Before I could reply, he’d thrown me on the bed and kissed my neck playfully. I giggled lightly, horniness overwhelming me. I hadn’t had a nice night with Brian in a while. With Serenity, we were always busy. If we did have time, the cries of Serenity went through the baby monitor and we’d have to go take care of her.

We both love our daughter, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that…well, if you had just had Synyster Gates enter you; something that sent such pleasure through you-and he began pumping in you, but then you had to stop because of a child’s cry. Yeah, you’d be upset too. And when you get back to it, it’s not the same.

Brian rubbed his hardness against me, sending a moan from my lips. He smiled that sexy Synyster Gates smile and bit my neck roughly.

“Knock knock.” Val called from our door.

Brian groaned and got up, “Sup, Val?”

“You two need to leave in a few. We’ll have Jimmy drive you two down and when you two get back, he’ll pick you up.”

“Alright, thanks Val.” I stood, grabbing my bag just to have it taken from my grasp by Brian.

The three of us walked downstairs to find Jimmy by the door, Serenity playing with his keys and Matt standing there with a cute smile on his face, hands on his hips.

“Hey sweetie,” I hugged Serenity as she ran up to me, “We’re gonna be gone for a few days. Be good for Auntie Val and Uncle Matt. Can you do that for me?” she nodded, hiding her face in the crook of my neck. “Alright sweetie, “I kissed the top of her head, “why don’t you go say goodbye to daddy?”

I set her down and she walked over to Brian. He set down the bags and took her in his arms, “Aw, bye baby girl!”

He kissed her cheek, “bye daddy.”

The room was silent, “Serenity, did you just-”

“Can you talk again?” I smiled, so happy that she spoke for the first time.

“Tell your mommy how much you love her.” Jimmy piped in, “say ‘I love you’.”

“I wuv you.” She spoke with a cute smile.

Tears filled my eyes and I wiped them away, walking closer to the both of them and kissing each of their cheeks.

“I love you too, darling.” I laughed.

“Well, looks like we’ll be having conversations while you’re gone.” Matt laughed.

“Yeah, just be back soon.” Val grinned.

“Back soon! Back soon!” Serenity chanted when Brian put her down, picking up the bags.

We said tearful goodbyes and went with Jimmy to the airport.

“I love you Jimmy.” I whispered in his ear before we boarded the plane.

“I love you too, sweetie. Can’t wait to see you when you get back.” He turned to Brian, “hope the sex is great, dude.”

I blushed as Brian laughed, “Yeah, of course.”

“Judging by what you told us, there’s no worries.” He chuckled.

I now sat on the plane, holding Brian’s hand.

I was finally on my way to my honeymoon…and my daughter said her first words today…

Nothing could get better than this…