All an Illusion

Fear is such a fascinating thing, it can come from anything or out of nothing and at all - and completely control a person. People would do anything to escape their fears, to not be forced to face them, control them or overcome them. Everyone would rather avoid them, pretend it’s not there, hide under the covers from the shadows on the wall. People can get scared from the tiniest things, and remain frozen terrified for eternity afterward. Jade knew what it was like to be afraid, so scared out of your mind that you’d rather die than face the terror, and she also knew that she hadn’t been afraid, that night in the meadow. She hadn’t been afraid during every second of those long days and hours she lay there bleeding on the grass screaming through all the indescribable, agonizing pain that had taken over her body. But she was afraid now, and that made Jade worried.

It was six in the morning, which on any other day, would have been ridiculously early for Jade, but now there was no evenings now. No early mornings or long days. Time had ceased to exist, but instead spun in a never-ending loop of sun light and darkness. More than anything Jade wished she could crawl in a coffin in some stuffy cellar and hide, but the Cullen’s didn’t have any. No, they were all for living normally, no feeding on human flesh, they even went to school! And Jade knew they wanted her to be normal too, to stop acting like the stroppy teenager she was and decide. Carlisle had already made that very clear to her, that she didn’t have to stay with them, that as a independent human being she had the free will to do what she wanted. But while she was still adjusting to be a vampire, and her thirst was still uncontrollable, she would have to stay with them. Jade could understand that, it wasn’t them that was the problem. The past weeks she had spent with the Carlisle’s had probably been the best of her whole entire sixteen years. Their compassion and kindness was overwhelming, almost too much for Jade to take in.

The only person she had had in life was her mother. It was Melinda, who had bought her up single handedly, from the day she was born, when she had been crudely isolated from her strict catholic family. It had been Melinda from the start, during the days when her mother had been living so rough, that Melinda had been forced into labour on the first floor of an abandoned shopping mall, with only her teeth to rip apart the umbilical cord and her t-shirt to wrap the crying baby in. Jade could still remember the day when her mother had dragged her back to her grand parent’s house not sobbing for forgiveness, but angry and determined, demanding for money to bring up the grand daughter they could never love. From then on things had got better. Jade had gone to school and even got used to their titchy one bed roomed apartment. Jade had never spent one night without her. She was fourteen when her mother got sick, and the monthly cheques from their grand parents had not been enough to pay for any medical bills and it had been Jade’s turn to look after her. As soon as she turned sixteen last fall, Jade dropped out of school and took up two jobs just so they could get by. And although Edward had reassured her she was okay, Jade’s mind could not be put to rest.

Edward already knew too much. The way he and the rest of them looked at her, it made Jade’s stomach turn with worry. She knew there was something they weren’t telling her, something wasn’t right.

She sat by the window sill going over again and again the last time she had spoken with Melinda, that night when she had stupidly gone for a walk in the meadow, to get away from the sometimes too small apartment. Why had she left her? Why couldn’t she have just stayed at home and then gone for an evening walk the next day? Or would that have even mattered? Would she still have been attacked no matter what the day was, had it simply been destiny? That she was always supposed to have been turned into a vampire, and live a never ending life as a sixteen year old forever? The padding of feet upstairs, awakened Jade from her thoughts and she immediately cursed under her breath. She was becoming more and more anti social, resenting the presence of anyone who simply came to talk to her. She hated them for pitying her, for caring for her, but even hated herself even more, for hating them.

“Jade?” came a voice from behind the door. Jade stubbornly chose not to move, but mumbled very quietly under he breath instead. Still Bella heard and within seconds was behind her. Jade frowned at her reflection in the window. She was wearing a light blue summer dress, that was quite plain but still made Bella look abnormally beautiful.

“We’re all going on a hunt together, later today and then maybe for a quick round of baseball afterwards. Do you want to come?” Jade could detect the fear and anticipation in Bella’s voice. She knew what the answer would be, before the words even came from her mouth.

“No, I’m fine thanks.”

“Are you sure?” Bella tried again, making Jade winced. Sooner or later Jade would always cave anyway. Refusing to hunt was her way of still trying to deny what she had become. She hated her thirst, more than anything. It was a constant agonizing reminder in the back of her head, that what was happening to her was real. The need had made her weak. Time and time again she had tried to at least stay in control, to remain civilized and hold onto any last pieces of humanity that she had left. But the animal in front of her was screaming at her, smelling so sweet and tasty that it built a frenzy inside her, until she became too crazed to care. When she eventually drifted back to reality, it was too late and there was only a carcass lying in front of her, it’s life dripping red all over her, inside her…

When Jade looked at her reflection in the mirror, she didn’t see the stunning, attractive pale teenager with full lips and long hair. Instead she saw the fading red eyes, and the guilty demented stare, of a monster.

“Wait!” Jade called to Bella abruptly. “I might as well go, if you….” She began, but then Bella had suddenly grabbed her from the window sill, and pulled her arms tightly behind her back. “What?” Jade could only manage as within the next couple seconds Bella dragged her downstairs to the main room.

“What’s going?” Carlisle was the first to ask, turning away from the paper he was reading. Jade watched as Esme and Edward also looked up, and Jasper, Alice, Emmet and Rosalie emerged from their rooms to see what was going on.

“What!” Edward repeated Carlisle in surprise as Jade guessed he had already read Bella’s thoughts as to why she had her on such a hold. Bella was the only one who was strong enough to restrain Jade, but Jade didn’t even know why as she wasn’t struggling.

“I had to block myself against Jade,” Bella blurted out, her hold never loosening.

“Jade has a power…” Edward finished for her. Now it was Jade’s turn to ask, “What?” Although Jade didn’t really like to think about it, as it made her head spin, she knew about Alice being able to tell the future, Edward reading minds, Jasper controlling emotions and Bella being able to protect herself and others, but the thought that she had a power herself….

She heard Carlisle, let out a long deep breath, “Wow, that’s very interesting. Well, Jade have you known about this?”

Before she could speak, Edward answered for her, “No, she doesn’t even know what it is…”

Jade’s mind was drifting. In the background, she could hear them all talking, but she didn’t even care what they were saying. Edward’s words were playing over and over in her mind, ‘she had a power… she had a power…’. A slow mischievous smile crept onto her face. Now, Jade remembered what had happened. She had ordered Bella to ‘wait,’ and just like that she had. The block of fear inside her was beginning to evaporate; Jade Sharpe knew exactly what her power was.