This Could All End In Tragedy

I let the tears develop.

In the corner of my eyes. The way my eyes would water in the blistering cold back home in New York.

I was far from home. Too far for my taste.

My dad coughed trying to control his tears to my right.

"Many tender memories soften our grief today as we come..." I heard the priest's soft voice fade off as I stared down at my plain black flats blocking out the world that was ending around me.

My long hair fell to the sides of my face as I continued to hang my head low.

I let the tears spill out of the corners of my eyes. I let them fall freely down my cheeks. Down the crook of my neck.

I wasn't alone in my state of sorrow. I could hear my dad silently sniffing away tears. I could also hear my uncle Brandon to my left coughing lightly, while wiping away wet tears that were threatening to spill at any second.

I turned my head back in the position it was earlier. Staring down at the green grass that layed below my feet. The disgusting grass. It was alive.

A cold gust of wind blew through the open space we were all standing in. Goosebumps ran up my bare arms as I felt my tears turn ice cold against my skin. I breathed in deeply and quickly wiped away my tears. I slowly brought my head up and blinked my eyes a few times to block away any future tears.

I straightened up my back and dared myself to look around. Everyone was either staring down in pity or staring straight ahead with no expression on their face.

I returned my stare down to my feet. I looked down at the bones sticking out of my pale feet. I rested my eyes upon the smooth material of my flats.

I blinked away more tears as I let myself listen in to the priests words that meant absolutely nothing to me.

"And sometimes an ending is the beginning of something very beautiful." the old man said in his soft, soothing voice.

My temper flared inside of me. My fingernails dug deep into the skin of my palm.

What did he know? Did he ever go through the same situation? Fuck. He was getting paid for fake talking. He was some old man who's never been laid.

I shut my eyes and hung my head low again. I felt ashamed for thinking such dark thoughts.

I wanted to desperately fall onto my knees and collapse onto the soft grass.

To just lay down and shut off the sorrow.

To simply tell the old man to fuck off.

To silently walk away and never remember this day again.

Before I knew it I was losing my breathe as floods of cold tears slipped down my cheeks.

I suddenly felt someones strong hand wrap around my arm.

I quickly tried to compose myself and breathed in deep before turning my head to my left.

I looked up to see my uncle Brandon looking at me concerned.

"Emily. Are you okay?" he whispered quietly.

I let a few tears slip down my face as I stared back.

"Yeah." I whispered back quietly before I stepped further away from Brandon while his hand let go off my arm.

I continued to silently cry while the priest groaned on and on.

Before I knew it, the casket was being lowered into the ground. Where it was never going to see the light of day again.

A feeling rushed over me. It consumed me. I needed someone to hold me.

I didn't know where I was going. I was standing right next to my dad. But something inside of me didn't want to disturb my dad.

I rushed into Brandon's arms and buried my face into his chest. I sobbed as I felt his arms wrap around me. I prayed to whatever God there was that I wasn't making a scene.

"It's okay Emily. It's okay." he whispered softly as his fingertips grazed the top of my head.

I tried to stop the tears as best as I could.

Than the dreadful priest went on.

"And now may Karen Marie Saller and baby Ryan rest in peace."

I felt Brandon hold me tighter as I heard him silently wipe away tears.

After what felt like an eternity, which in reality was only a few minutes I felt Brandon's arm grow weak around me as I lifted my head off his chest.

I looked back at my dad who was looking back at me weakly smiling through his tears.

I lifted my body weight off Brandon and stood up straight while wiping away my tears.

I looked back at him.

"Let's go over by your dad." he said while walking towards my dad.

I watched as Brandon's legs traveled towards my father, who was now surrounded by the very few people who had come today.

I was all alone once again.

I turned my back to the group and looked over where Brandon had been standing before and stared at the group of trees that were swaying with the wind.

I looked up at the sky. It had been overcast since the early morning.

The wind picked up and I felt my long hair get caught in the cool breeze.

My eyes moved back from the cloudy sky to the patch of trees. I stood there for a few seconds admiring the way the branches swayed with the strong gust. Than my eyes moved to the ground where the trees stood.

And then I noticed a single white rose laying next to the root of one of the tree trunks.

I blinked my eyes a few times to make sure I wasn't seeing things. But the flower layed there with it's petals moving lightly with the wind.

I was deep in thought while I slowly walked over to where the white rose layed in the green grass under the shadow of the large trees.

I bent down and picked it up between my finger tips. I stared at it's beauty while standing back up.

I was still deep in thought when I heard a noise over me. I looked up at the sky which surprisingly hurt my eyes. I blinked a few times to see through the new rays of sun and saw a group of white doves fly over me.

I stared into the horizon at the birds departure.

I than turned around and stared at the priest who look back at me with a smile.

For the first time in days I smiled back at him.

Maybe sometimes an ending is the beginning of something very beautiful.