Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands

“Hello, Doctor McGrew,” I said solemnly as he opened the door.

“Call me Kelly. Come in Sadler,” He ushered me inside. “Is Gabe coming?” He asked shutting the door behind me.

“I think so. We agreed to come today, but…he actually kicked me out last night,” The tears were instant. I had held it in all day at work.

The first thing this morning at work I walked into Lucas’ office closed the door and point blank asked him what was up.

“Lucas, I need to get something out in the open and I need you to be completely honest and listen to me,” I said calmly as I stood with my back practically against the back of his door, afraid to go any further.

“Good morning, Sadler,” He laughed leaning forward on his forearms on his desk.

“Have you been flirting with me?” I almost shout as I forced out the question.

Lucas chuckled and leaned back in his chair. “Do you want me to be flirting with you Sadler?” He asked cockily.

“No and frankly your advances are really making me uncomfortable,” I found my confidence and stepped back from the door to stand behind one of the chairs in front of his huge desk.

“You haven’t seemed uncomfortable,” He had a smug grin on his face from ear to ear.

“Maybe you’ve been too oblivious to notice that I’m not interested. I’ve been trying to be professional and keep things off the radar, but enough is enough. Last night was…was inappropriate.”

“Do you mean the way your husband ignored you all night or are you talking about me?” He leaned forward on his desk and gave me a look as if I were emotionally confused.

“My husband was not ignoring me, first. Secondly, my marriage is none of your business. I’m talking about you keeping your hand on me.”

“And here I was thinking you wanted me to keep my hands off of you,” He winked.

“You know what I meant,” I almost growled at him. “Be professional. I’m married and not interested in you,” I yelled and turned toward the door.

“We’ll see about both of those things in a few months. We’re still getting to know each other,” He laughed.

“What the fuck is this act? Who are you? How did you get this job?” I turned around and questioned him. I was so disgusted with his behavior. I was appalled and surprised to be honest. His smugness and cocky demeanor where new and so out of character from what I had seen from him, but I guess his actions had matched this new personality.

“Not an act. I’m good at what I do…professionally that is,” Lucas stood up from his desk and leaned on his hands. “I hope we can continue to work so closely,” He smiled.

“We’ll just see what HR has to say about that,” I opened the door and marched across the building to the HR office.

“Is Mary in?” I asked as I huffed into the office.

“She’s in there,” Their secretary said pointing to her office.

“Mary,” I asked knocking lightly on her door.

“Sadler, come in,” She smiled. She was a cute older lady, probably in her late 50’s.

“Can I close the door?”

“Of course,” She looked concerned.

“I need to talk to you about Lucas Wells,” I said sitting in the chair next to her desk.

“What happened?” Mary asked.

“He’s been coming onto me and last night he kept putting his hand on my back in front of the museum director and everyone else there. I just went and politely asked him to stop and to keep everything professional, but he basically said he was going to try and ruin my marriage,” I was speed talking. I took a breath. “I just don’t feel comfortable with him working with me anymore.”

“Well, how we must proceed is I’ll document this and put it in his file and we’ll review it and keep an eye on him. Unfortunately, unless we get other complaints that’s all we can do, unless you take another position within the college or elsewhere that’s the only way you’ll be able to avoid him,” She was very calm and understanding, but it still wasn’t what I wanted.

“Okay, if that’s what must be done. Let’s document this incident and we’ll go from there,” I shook my head in disappointment.

I went through everything that had happened the night before with Kelly. I made sure to mention how great things had been going too. I told him that we had somewhat of a sex life back and then he just didn’t trust me. I knew it wasn’t right, but I felt like my back was against the wall. I could have caused a scene, taken him aside—which would not have looked good either, or what I did; avoid him subtly, but apparently it was too subtle for Gabe to notice.

“I just don’t know what to do,” I sighed after telling Kelly every detail of the past week.

“Should I even fight anymore?”

“That’s something you have to decide on your own,” He sounded really empathetic to what I was going through. “I’m not here to steer you in any direction. I’m just here to help mediate what’s been happening and try and help you both find middle ground, but only if it’s what you want.”

“I know, I know…I guess it’s clear what he wants,” I took another tissue and wiped my eyes.

“We’re over our hour and he still hasn’t shown up,” I sucked it all back and collected my purse off of the couch. “Thank you for listening to me,” I laughed because I was surely a mess.

“That’s what I’m here for,” He followed me toward the door.

“I guess I’ll call you to set up another appointment…depending on how things go,” I wanted to vomit saying those words. I didn’t want to even think that everything was over.

I walked out of Kelly’s office and out to the street. I walked down the street and just kept wiping my eyes. I hated crying in public, I hated crying over this – I hated this. I adjusted my purse on my shoulder and tried to walk with my head up. I just couldn’t think about everything that was going on just yet. I didn’t want to be in denial, but I just couldn’t completely process everything that was going on because my head was too full.

“Sadie!” I heard as feet came up behind me fast. I turned around to see Gabe running toward me. I just stood still and waited for him. “I’m sorry,” He was out of breath.

“Are you sorry for missing the session or because you don’t want me anymore?” My bottom lip started to tremble as I felt the tears well up in my eyes.

“I’m sorry for missing the session,” Gabe was really out of breath. I don’t know how far he had run, but it must have been at least down the block. “I was in the studio with Pete and Patrick and I lost track of time,” Gabe put his hands on the sides of my arms. “I want you,” He smiled widely. “I could never want you. I wrote a song about how I wanted you before I met you. I wasn’t thinking last night. I was just too jealous and uncool,” He moved his hands up to cradle my face and wipe away my tears that had started to fall with his thumbs.

“I was afraid that last night was it. That you didn’t want me anymore and when you didn’t show up today…I didn’t know what to think, but I felt like my heart didn’t exist anymore,” I cried.

“Please, come home. I love you. I trust you. I just…seeing the way he looked at you, the way he touched you…I didn’t interrupt because I kept thinking that you deserved that. You deserved to be adored and then I was jealous because I’m the one that should adore you and you didn’t want me to,” He pulled my closer to him. “I should have stepped in to show you that I adore you, I love you and that I wanted to get back to where we were. I’m sorry for that,” He pulled me into his chest fully and I wrapped my arms around him loosely.

“I…I just didn’t want to think that Lucas was coming on to me, I guess, but I reported him this morning,” Gabe leaned back in my hold to look at me.

“What happened?” He tried to fight a smile.

“Not much. I reported him and I confronted him and told him to stay away from me. He has a strike against him and he’ll be watched and they need other people to file reports to do anything.”

“Well, at least you did that. I’m sorry for not being there for you…that was wrong. I just let the jealousy get to me and I avoided a situation.”

“Will you promise me to cut the shit,” I laughed so I could stop crying.

“I will. I’ll make sure to step up, but can you just tell me to stop being an asshole.”

“You’ll surely want to get rid of me then, with the constant nagging and telling you you’re and asshole,” I wiped my eyes and Gabe kept his arms around me.

“You’re totally right, but we’ll deal. Things have been tough and I know that you took it harder and this shit I’ve been pulling lately is just more shit for you to deal with. I was being selfish and I thought about everything last night after you left…I didn’t sleep, I haven’t slept yet,” He grinned. “I was selfish and my actions were totally immature and disrespectful and I really am sorry. I love you.”

“I love you too. Apology accepted as long as you're committed to making this better. I’m sorry for everything…” I whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I don’t want to hear you’re sorry for being depressed or losing the baby or anything like that. It wasn’t your fault and look how far you’ve come? I’m the asshole, okay?” He stared at me with a raised eyebrow waiting for an answer. I just nodded. I couldn’t verbalize that I wasn’t at fault because part of me still felt terrible for everything that happened.

“Can we go home? Can we be civilized normal people?” He laughed and took my hand.

“Only if I can get a kiss,” I puckered up and lifted my head to the sky. Gabe gave me a kiss and I just smiled. “Can we stop by Meghan’s so I can get my suitcase?”

“Yes, let’s go,” I held his hand tight. “I heard Rob and Meg have been reconciling?”

“They have been. He was there last night when I went to Meg’s. They were really cute together, as usual,” I sighed.

“If those two kids can make it work maybe we have a fighting chance,” Gabe teased.

“Jerk,” I laughed.

We got to Meg’s apartment and her and Emily were hanging out. Gabe and I stayed for a bit to talk with them. Gabe apologized to Meghan for kicking me out and for me interrupting her time with Rob. Meg just laughed and they were both glad that we were serious about trying things now and Gabe had come around. Everything was a bit off though. Emily and Meg were both acting a little strange. They were both acting as if they were hiding something.

“You both okay?” I finally asked after another almost scripted response from Emily.

“Oh yeah, totally!” Emily was hiding something. She sounded scripted the way she answered me.

“What’s going on? You guys have been acting like you’re in a play since we got here,” I looked at Gabe for confirmation.

“What are you guys hiding? Are you and Rob back together?” Gabe said in a fatherly and overly sarcastic tone.

“No, we’re not. Sorry to disappoint you,” Meg laughed.

“Seriously guys, what’s the deal?” I looked between both of them.

“She’s gonna find out eventually,” Meg said softly to Emily. Emily looked really nervous.

“What’s happening?”

“Well, Sadie,” Emily said and moved next to me on the couch. “Please don’t hate me, okay.”

“I could never hate you,” I laughed. “What’s going on? You’re freaking me out a bit.”

“Um, well…” She was so nervous and just kept stalling and stuttering. “Ian and I are having a baby,” She finally spit out.

Now, I understood why she was acting so weird. She thought that I was going to hate her for being pregnant. I had to admit that I was jealous and I felt this weird pain wash over me, but I was excited for her. How could I not be excited for her?

“Sadie, please say something,” Emily gathered my hands in hers.

“I’m so excited for you two. Congratulations!” I smiled giving her a hug.

“Congratulations Emmy,” Gabe said nudging her legs with his foot from the chair across from us.

“I’m so relieved you two don’t hate me. I mean, it wasn’t planned, but I just didn’t know, you know?” She was rambling.

“I’m happy for you, genuinely happy,” I assured her.

“Good. I love you,” Emily cried and hugged me again.

“I love you too,” I laughed.

“Gabe and I are gonna head out and get some food, but totally happy for you,” I smiled at her.

I gave Meghan and Emily a hug and Gabe and I headed out.

“You okay?” He asked as soon as we got outside.

“Uh huh,” I nodded. “Just started to feel a bit overwhelmed, but I’m totally happy for her and Ian. It’s not like I can stop my friends from getting pregnant,” I laughed.

“You can let it out. I’m here,” He held my hand tightly and pulled my suitcase in his other hand.

“I can’t say I’m not jealous, but it’s not like we can’t get pregnant again, you know?”

“I want to get pregnant again,” Gabe teased and patted his stomach.

“I hope I can give you kids,” I said seriously.

“It’ll happen, but let’s work on us first, okay?”

“You are so smart,” I winked at him.

I needed to know I was wanted and hopefully we were on a better path. Gabe had admitted to his shortcomings and I had admitted mine to him and with any luck now we could meet in the middle. I really couldn’t imagine life without him and I didn’t want to ever imagine it without him in my future.