Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands

Lucas hadn’t been all week. I e-mailed him on Tuesday with the first part of my proposal and his response was again, polite and casual. I still had a weird feeling that I couldn’t shake about the situation. Was he really just taking everything in stride because he knew he was wrong? It was hard to believe that was the case. Why was he out of the office all week? Was his face that bad? Was he giving me space? I kept thinking about so many things. I just wanted an answer and end to whatever this was. I didn’t want any surprises, for me or for Gabe.

I was a bit more at ease after Wednesday when he responded to an e-mail of part of my proposal saying he’d be back on Friday. I didn’t have to worry about looking over my shoulder and waiting for him to sneak in. But, it was Friday and I’d have to face him or at least see him. I was sort of dreading it.

“Good morning Sadler,” I heard Lucas say and I looked up from my computer to notice him. His voice sent my heart racing with nerves. My palms were instantly clammy in anticipation of bad news.

“H-hi,” I stammered. His eye was still bruised. It looked like Gabe hit him more in the cheek and right below his eye and his nose. His bruises were yellowing and not so terrible.

“I read your final proposals last night,” He stood leaning a shoulder on the door jam. “Can I come in?” He asked nervously.

“Uh…yes…sit,” I gave him a weak smile. My mouth and head were not working in synch right now.

Lucas came in and sat down in one of the two chairs in front of my desk. He took a deep breath and settled in and crossed his legs. I just waited for him to say something, but he just sort of looked at me with a little smirk.

“So, my proposals,” I prodded.

“Yes, they’re amazing. You used the funds wisely and backed up every single penny with a reason. Very well done,” He smiled. I relaxed a bit that the proposals were off my shoulders, aside from potential revisions given by the board.

“Do you think I’ll have to do many revisions?” I chewed the inside of my bottom lip in nervousness.

“I don’t think so, but I meet with them on Monday to review this with them. I’m not surprised this came out so well, but it was really fine work,” Lucas uncrossed his legs and leaned forward. “It’s not secret I think you’re amazing,” He leaned back into his chair with a smug look. “At your job, of course,” He chuckled.

I had been thinking about apologizing for Gabe’s punching him. I wanted to tell him that he deserved it, but restraint on both ends should have been considered. I wanted to scream at him for kissing me and being such a haughty asshole, but my door was open. I didn’t want a scene with students milling in and out. I did want Margot or someone else to overhear me telling him off, but not the students; that would be unprofessional.

On Monday I had talked to Mary again and told her what had happened. I left out the punching part, but told her Gabe busted it up. She told me that they were watching him closely, but I was still the only one filing complaints. They were investigating it though and with such a serious accusation now, they’d be questioning him and others. I knew they were doing their job and trying to be fair, but part of me just wanted them to take my word and fire him on the spot. It wasn’t happening though.

“Well, someone has to be good at their job and professional,” I smirked.

“I won’t hold your husband’s trashy outburst effect how I perceive you and your professionalism,” He said in a low voice so it didn’t waft into the office.

“Well, he was reacting to something unprofessional. Lucas, cut the shit, please?” I pulled myself as close as I could to my desk and whispered angrily at him.

“Good proposals, Sadler,” He smiled and stood up. “I’ll let you know what the board says,” Lucas laughed to himself as he left my office and that just agitated me even more.

I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming my head off in frustration. He was so infuriating and if there were any other positions at other schools, believe me I’d be applying, but unfortunately there were only lower level positions and nothing in student affairs. I had built myself a little place here and turned it around, that meant a lot to me. I wasn’t about to be pushed out by Lucas.

I went back to work and then my cell phone rang. It was Ian, Emily’s boyfriend.

“Are we having a baby?” I asked excitedly.

“We are…well, I think so. Her water broke, but we’re nowhere near ready. I’m just giving you the heads up,” Ian sounded so ecstatic. He couldn’t wait to be a father.

“This is early,” I couldn’t help by smile like a goof. I was so excited for Emily and Ian and to have a little baby in the mix. “She wasn’t due for another two weeks, right?”

“Well, they’re never totally on target, but she was due this coming Wednesday, so only about a week early.”

“Wow, I was off. Let me know when you guys are on your way to the hospital! I’m so excited for you!” I could barely contain myself as I sat at my desk.

“Will do! I’m having a baby!” Ian shouted before he hung up. I just laughed and then called Gabe and e-mailed Meg.

Meghan was still on her honeymoon, she’d be back on Sunday night. They went to London, because that’s where you go in January, obviously. But, both Meghan and Rob loved London and they were only going for a week, so they wanted to go somewhere that wasn’t too far and that they loved. She had her Blackberry with her, but for some reason her plan was messed up and not working. I could e-mail her though and she’d eventually get it. I was sure as soon as she got this she’d be on the next flight.

“Emily’s water broke!” I said excitedly as Gabe answered.

“Oh really?” He laughed.

“Ian’s gonna call me when they go to the hospital, but that’s exciting!”

“Very, we’ll go as soon as Ian calls,” Gabe said a little less enthused than me.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah, totally fine. Just working on tour logistics with the band,” He was still off.

“Okay, well good luck with that. If I get the call you better be ready!” I tried to still keep the mood light.

“Thanks, call me and I’m out the door,” I could hear in his voice that he was smiling a bit, which was nice.

Around two in the afternoon a woman came into our office looking for Lucas. She wasn’t a student or at least I didn’t recognize her to even be one of our continuing education students. She was probably in her mid to late twenties, slender with long straight brown hair. She had leggings, Uggs, a huge sweater and scarf on as she asked for Lucas at Margot’s desk.

“I’ll take you to Lucas,” I shouted from my office without even thinking. It literally spilled out and it shocked me. I think I just wanted to know what she was here for.

“Thank you,” She smiled and I walked her down the hall to Lucas’ office.

“Here you are,” I smiled at her and waited for a bit to hear a little bit.

“Hey, Courtney,” I heard Lucas greet her and I headed back to my office.

As I headed back I could hear Lucas and the girl start walking behind me. I tried to listen and slow my pace, but not be too obvious.

“Luke you know what happened last time,” She sounded as if she were scolding him.

“Court, enough right now,” He said sternly and I turned into my office as they passed and went down the stairs.

I was too interested in who that girl, Courtney was and what they were talking about than I should have been. I should just mind my business, but I was on the defense. I was on the warpath and trying to build up my artillery.

After work, I headed home and made dinner and changed. Gabe was still out. I was just waiting for Ian to call that they were closer to the baby being born. They had been admitted to the hospital, but they were slowly progressing. I was so excited for them!
I got an e-mail on my blackberry from Meghan.

I’m midair. I hope she did not have that baby yet. Please tell her to cross her legs and keep him in until I get there!

xoxo
Meghan

She was ridiculous. I knew as soon as I e-mailed her she’d be booking a flight back. She had tried her hardest to plan out her trip and have enough time to get home before the baby was due. Meghan was just as excited for Emily as she was with me when I was pregnant. It was so nice to have Meghan and see her excitement. She could always make you feel better.

I e-mailed her back to let her know that she hadn’t missed anything and that she’d probably arrive right on time to welcome the baby. I would also send her pictures if she wasn’t there by the time the little man was born. As I finished typing my e-mail my phone started to ring.

“Ian! Are we having a baby?” I jumped off of the couch in excitement.

“Well, we’re like almost 6 centimeters dilated, but she’s progressing. I think I could use some help occupying my parents and her parents. I’ll pay you,” Ian laughed.

“Oh man, I bet Emily’s mom has given you an earful today,” I laughed. Emily’s mom never stopped talking and had an opinion on everything.

“You have no idea. She got on me for not buying Emily her own hospital gown because the hospital ones are so rough on the skin,” He groaned with frustration.

“I’ll be over to keep them occupied! I know how to feed Joan’s ego,” I went back to my room and grabbed my coat and purse and started out the door.

“I owe you big. I’ll let you cut the cord!”

“I’m holding you to that,” I smiled to myself as I locked up the apartment. “I’m on my way,” I hung up with Ian and dialed Gabe.

His phone rang until I got voicemail. So, I left him a message.

“Hey, I’m on my way to save Ian. Emily’s mom is crazy. Meet me at the hospital. We’re having a baby,” I laughed.

I made my way to the hospital and captured Emily and Ian’s parents and took them to the cafeteria. They were standoffish at first they didn’t want to leave Emily’s side, but I convinced them that she needed her space and they needed to eat.

“Sadler, your hair has gotten so long,” Joan, Emily’s mother said as she sat next to me and tousled my hair a bit with her hands.

“Yeah, letting it grow out a bit. How was everyone’s ride down?” I smiled at everyone.

“Oh you know, we couldn’t get here fast enough,” Ian’s father laughed.

“I’ve been waiting in anticipation all day!” I sipped on my coffee.

“Where’s Gabe?” Emily’s father, Ed asked.

“He’s in the studio. I left him a message, so hopefully he’s on his way over here.”

“How are you doing with all of this baby stuff? Has it been hard on you?” Joan turned into me and said in a hushed tone.

She caught me a bit off guard. It was a bittersweet moment when Emily told me that she was pregnant. I thought her hesitance in telling me she was pregnant was silly. I had come so far and I didn’t think anything of it when she told me. I was so excited for her. I was. I couldn’t wait for her to have a baby and I always thought she’d be the first of the three of us to have one.

But, after a day or so it sort of set in. I was feeling jealous and a bit empty. I wanted to also have my baby. To have my baby girl grow up with Emily’s little boy. I wanted all of that, but I eventually got over and put it to the back burner. I just kept telling myself that everything happens for a reason. Maybe Gabe and I needed to get over that hurdle to be where we were now; more solid than ever.

“I’m fine. I cannot wait to meet this little man,” I assured her and she pulled me into a hug.

“Sadie, you’re like a daughter to me, so if you need anything I’m here,” She said into my ear. I hugged her back and I really appreciated her looking out for me.

We sat and ate and talked for about an hour and a half with no news. We were getting antsy, so we went upstairs to sit in the waiting room near where Emily was.

“I’m going to go call Gabe, I’ll be back,” I said after about three hours of me being there. I hadn’t heard from him and I just wanted to see if he’d be coming over.

“Hey, do I have to come punch you in the face to get you out of what you’re doing?” I teased when he answered.

“I’m really busy, I’m sorry,” He said. He sounded way off and annoyed at me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” He sounded even more annoyed.

“Well, your tone would suggest otherwise,” I leaned my back against the brick of the hospital and tapped my fingers against them in annoyance.

“I’m just busy; will you get off my back?” Gabe raised his voice angrily.

“I realize you’re busy. I was just calling to give you a hard time and see if you were coming to the hospital. No big deal. Did you have a bad day?” I started to pace a bit in a circle. What was his deal?

“I’m not coming to the hospital. I have to practice, we leave in three weeks,” He growled. Cobra was going on tour with Fall Out Boy as their support act and then on their own tour to make up for the dates they canceled after I miscarried. Gabe cancelled the four month tour to be with me and now they were making them up for their fans.

“I know you leave in three weeks,” I raised my voice back in frustration at the whole situation. “I was just thinking you could be happy that our friends were having a baby. I also just wanted to see you too because you do leave in three week. What’s your deal? Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened. I just have a lot of practicing to do. We’re a little rusty. I’ll see you when I get home.”

“Why are you so mad at me?” I said lowly I lost my voice for a minute. I was at a loss for what was happening and why he was so on edge. I knew he was practicing, but I just wanted to see if he could make it over to the hospital, there was no pressure.

“I’m not, just…I’ll see you when I get home,” He was short with me.

“Fine, but can you keep your attitude in check and not take whatever happened to you today out on me? Is that too much to ask?” I snapped and hung up.

I walked back inside and Joan was rushing towards me. I perked up for her and because I knew it was time.

“She’s getting ready to push!” She could not contain her giddiness.

“Let’s get you back up there!” I laughed and pulled her as fast as I could back upstairs.

Another hour later we had a baby. Ian pulled me and we both cut the cord.

“I promised you and you made everything better,” He laughed as we held the scissors together. I started to cry. It was so overwhelming and beautiful.

“Sadie, you okay?” Ian asked as he put an arm around me.

“I’m okay, yeah, I’m good. I’m just so overwhelmed by it all. I’m so happy for you,” I pulled myself closer to Ian and he squeezed me.

I went back over to Emily and gave her a huge hug and kiss. She still looked beautiful for pushing out an almost nine pound baby. She held my hand and told me she loved me, it meant a lot to me. I was surprised at how the whole thing affected me. I thought I had processed all of my feelings and prepared myself for this moment, but I guess I hadn’t. I guess you can never fully prepare yourself for a birth or a death and I was dealing with both at the same time.

“Do you want to hold him?” Emily asked after she was given the baby.

“I would love to hold him,” I told her and she handed me her knew bundle of joy. “What did you name him?” I asked as I held him in my arms. He looked exactly like Ian.

“Well, we wanted to name him something special, but we weren’t sure how’d you feel about it,” She hesitated.

“Don’t name him Gabe,” I laughed.

“We were thinking of naming him Levi Oliver,” Ian said as he put his arm around my shoulders and stroked his sons face. I just started to cry. I didn’t sob, but the tears were streaming down my face. I was touched.

“We don’t have to, if it’s too much. We have a back up name, we were going to name him after our grandfathers. So, Thomas Xavier…” Emily was talking so fast because she thought I was upset.

“I’m not upset, I’m just overwhelmed. I’d be honored I guess,” I held Levi tighter in my arms and just stared down at him.

“He looks like a Levi,” Emily smiled at me and put her one hand over my hand. I wish Gabe was here with me and with us. I wanted to see him hold Levi and to watch him with a baby. He was going to be a great father.

“I love you both. I want you to know that. I really love all three of you,” I corrected myself. I kissed Emily and handed her back Levi. I gave him a huge kiss on the forehead. I gave Ian a hug and everything was just setting in. I ached for a baby. I had moved on from everything that had happened. I didn’t forget it, but moved on, but it didn’t mean I didn’t want to have a baby. I had agreed to wait with Gabe and it still was a smart idea, but in this moment I wanted one as soon as possible. I would give it time, I just had a renewed desire to have one with watching my friend have a baby.