Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands

“Please get out of the house now!” I commanded.

“But, just…” Emily started and Ian pulled her toward the door.

“He’ll be alright,” Ian laughed at her.

“Levi is in good hands,” I assured them as I rocked him back and forth in my arms.

“I know he is. It’s just hard to leave him,” Emily had a pained look in her eyes.

“You deserve a night out, now go!” I laughed.

Ian pulled Emily out the door and shut it behind him. I was babysitting for them while they went to a work function for Ian. It’s really the first night they’ve been out since Levi was born five months ago. They needed it desperately.

I went into the kitchen and laid Levi in his bassinet and went to eat some pizza that Emily and Ian had ordered for me. I felt like I was 15 and babysitting again when the parents would let you order pizza or had it waiting for you. I laughed to myself just thinking about how they had really become parents.

I grabbed a slice and grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator all the while watching Levi play with his mobile. To be so little without a care in the world, I missed that. My cell phone started to ring, I was sure that it was Emily calling to check up on us. I went and grabbed it out of my purse in the other room, it was Gabe.

“I miss you, I love you and I’m proud of you,” I said before he could say “hello.”

“I was about to say the same thing, boo,” He teased.

“You can say it. Or you can come up with three other things,” I smiled.

“I love your ass, your tits and your--”

“Hey, I have a baby in the room,” I cut him off.

“I was just gonna say and your face,” Gabe laughed.

“Right,” I dragged out sarcastically. “Where are you again? I feel like these days are blurring into one. Are you in Colorado?”

“See you knew it! We’re in Denver. About to go on in like two hours.”

“Can you guys just skip the entire mid-west and just come here?” I asked as I went to pick up Levi who had begun to fuss.

“Let me talk to the little guy. I’ll settle him down,” Gabe almost pleaded. I went into the living room and sat on the couch and put my phone on speaker and on the coffee table.

“We’re waiting for you to calm him down,” I laughed.

“Hi Levi, it’s your cool uncle Gabe. We only met when you were first born, but trust me you loved me,” Gabe spoke and Levi settled down a bit and just kept looking with his eyes to see where the voice was coming from. “Be good for your aunt Sadler. She loves you very much. When I get home we’ll spend some time together, okay?” He was practically cooing.

“He's looking for you,” I told him as I adjusted Levi in my arms. I picked up the phone and showed it to him. He immediately wanted to stick it in his mouth. “Say something, he has my phone now.”

“Don’t eat the phone,” Gabe laughed and Levi lit up. It was so cute.

“He loves your voice. He literally lit up just now,” I kissed Levi on the head.

“Well, who doesn’t? My voice is pretty sexy,” He growled a bit and Levi laughed.

“You’ve got the touch. You’re going to be such a great uncle,” I pulled my phone out of his mouth again.

“Uncle and dad. When I get back I’m impregnating you,” He said matter-of-factly.

“I only have to wait a month and a half, but then you leave me again. We always have Europe!” I couldn’t wait to have Gabe back in the area, even if it was for two nights.

They had a New York date and a Jersey date that I’d go to, and then they were off to New Hampshire, Massachusetts and upstate New York. They had two dates in Canada and then were off to Europe. Two weeks after they left I’d join Gabe and the rest of them for ten days. I couldn’t wait.

“We’ll do it like rabbits.”

“It’ll happen when it’s supposed to,” I reminded him. They told me that I could get pregnant again, but they didn’t know how long it would take. It could be harder to get pregnant for me because of all the trauma, but so much time has passed maybe we’d get it on the first try? I didn’t want to think like that just to get my hopes smashed. I had to be realistic.

“Just hearing you with the baby, I’m sorry,” He said genuinely.

“It’s fine, you know I want to have a baby with you. It’ll just happen when it’s right and until then we can practice with Levi here,” I laughed.

“And if we mess up we can give him back and Em and Ian can deal with it,” He laughed.

“Definitely, ugh, today has been a long day!” I groaned taking back the phone from Levi and taking it off of speaker.

“What are you doing this weekend?”

“I am going with Emily and Meghan for a girl’s weekend and Rob, Levi and Ian are going to watch a basketball game,” I bounced the baby on my knee a bit after he started to fuss from me taking away the phone.

“Fun, when did you guys plan that?”

“Today. It’s been a crazy time for all three of us. We could use it. Are you still going to be a guest DJ in Chicago this weekend?”

“Yeah, still gonna do that. I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself. You deserve it especially after everything you’ve been dealing with. I wish I was there for you,” Gabe said sweetly.

“I wish we were together right now, but very soon,” Levi was continuing to fuss, so I put the phone back on speaker and put it on the coffee table to try and bounce and play with him.

“Can’t wait.”

“Your voice calms him down,” I said astonished. As soon as Gabe’s voice came through the speaker he settled down.

“Like I’ve been telling you since we met – I have the voice of an angel.”

“Well angel, you should go and get ready. I’m going to try and put this one down. I love you.”

“Love you Levi. Love you Sadler. I’ll talk to you soon,” He made kissing noises through the phone and I just laughed.

“Bye,” I hung up and went upstairs to put the baby down to bed. He was probably fussy because he was tired.

I sat in the rocking chair in the room and wanted to rock him to sleep. He was asleep in about ten minutes. His little eyelids grew so heavy and he fought it as best he could. It was funny to watch him. So innocent and little in my arms, I just wanted to steal him. His little mouth hung open and he was sound asleep, so I put him in his crib and just waited in the door watching him. I then went down stairs, taking the baby monitor in with me and I jumped back on the couch. I was so exhausted from this week.

I sprawled out and flipped on the TV. I pulled the blanket from the back of the couch down onto me and just waited for Emily and Ian to come home.

***

“I hope your want pancakes!” Emily asked in almost a whisper as she stroked my hair. I opened my eyes and it was sunny out.

“Oh no! What time is it?” I sprung up.

“It’s Saturday and it’s 8 in the morning,” She smiled. I could smell the pancakes cooking.

“I’m a terrible babysitter!” I groaned. I had fallen asleep and they didn’t wake me up.

“No, no, no. We had to pry the baby monitor out of your hands and the baby was fast asleep,” She assured me.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I asked in a bit of a panic. I felt terrible.

“Well we have our girl’s day today and you’ve had a long week, so we wanted you to sleep,” She smiled.

“I love you!” I said hugging her tight.

“I love you too. Meg and Rob are coming for breakfast too and then we can head out for our spa day,” Emily said pulling me up off the couch.

“Sweet!” I readjusted my ponytail on my head and followed Emily into the kitchen.

“Morning sunshine!” Ian smiled as he flipped a pancake.

“Morning. Those look so good,” I sniffed as I leaned over him.

“You take over my couch, go cut up fruit for fruit salad,” Ian said as he bumped me with his hip away from him.

I stuck my tongue out at Ian, like I was thirteen and made my way over to their island in the middle of the kitchen that had a huge bowl and a ton of fruit ready to be cut up. I picked up the knife and started cutting. I watched Emily play peek-a-boo for a bit with Levi and then she hugged Ian from behind and they were all so loving with each other. It really made me miss Gabe and also it was tugging on my baby strings. I wanted everything that they had.

“Honey?” I heard Meg yell from the front of the house.

“In the kitchen!” Ian yelled.

“We brought the party kids!” Rob announced and put a bunch of bags down on the counter.

“Hey, baby,” Emily said giving Meg a kiss.

“We brought some beers and chips and cookies. We picked up some burgers and stuff for the boys,” She smiled and started unpacking the bags with Rob on the counter.

“Don’t get him fat, okay,” Emily scolded as she gave Rob a hug.

“You don’t want him to have a belly like me?” Rob said as he pulled up his shirt and pushed out his stomach.

“I think it’s sexy, Em,” Meg said rubbing Rob’s belly.

“Well, when I see it on Rob,” Emily laughed.

“Hey fantasy. Rough night?” Rob asked as he put the beer in the fridge.

“Ugh, I didn’t even check myself in the mirror. Do I have mascara all over my face?” I asked wiping under my eyes.

“No, you just have pillow wrinkles all over the side of your face,” I laughed.

“I fell asleep on the couch last night, fatty,” Rob ran around the island and plowed into me and hugging me tight.

“I am actually glad that Gabe has you escorting me home every once in a while now. I get to spend some time with you.” I hugged him tighter and he kissed the side of my head.

“Hi Sade!” Meg said coming and giving me a kiss.

“You ready for a girls day of relaxation?” I asked as I went back to cutting up fruit and putting it in the bowl.

“I can’t wait. I never realized how annoying Rob was until I married him,” She laughed and went and got another knife to help me cut up the fruit.

“I’m annoying?” Rob laughed and pretended to be hurt by her comments.

“Women are the annoying ones,” Ian defended.

“It’s a real battle of the sexes now!” I said sarcastically.

After breakfast, Meghan, Emily and I left for the spa, which wasn’t too far from Emily’s house. It was going to be a nice day and I couldn’t wait to spend it with my best girlfriends. It’s been forever since the three of us have had time just for us.

We had a group massage and then we all got manicures and pedicures, it was blissful. The girls and I chatted and drank mimosas and had quality time together. I really missed just spending time with my girlfriends. When our time was up I didn’t want to leave them.

“I love you,” I said as I gave Emily a hug and a kiss.

“Love you too. Drive safe!” Emily said and got into her car.

“Love you,” I said and gave Meg a hug and a kiss.

“Let’s do dinner this week. Call me,” Meg said as she opened the door to Emily’s car, they had carpooled since Rob and Ian were spending the day together.

“Yes, let’s do dinner,”

“Drive safe,” Meg got into the car. I smiled and waved as they pulled out.

I got into my car and started toward my house. About fifteen minutes into my drive my phone started to ring and I answered it without looking.

“Hello,” I answered and it was just crying on the other end. I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the caller, it was Courtney. “Courtney, what’s wrong?” I ask her as I continue to drive down the highway. I just prayed I didn’t get pulled over for talking on my phone.

“Can I come over?” She heaved.

“I’m not home right now. What’s wrong?”

“Lucas…Lucas kicked me out,” She sniffled.

“I’m so sorry,” I tried to sound sympathetic. I did feel bad for Courtney, but I needed to separate myself from this whole mess I had gotten into.

“Will you be home soon? Can I meet you?” Her voice was muffled with tears.

“I’ll be home in like forty minutes. I’ll meet you somewhere,” Thankfully I was mellow from a day of pampering to deal with this.

“I have nowhere to go. Can I come over?”

“Sure you can meet me at my apartment,” I gave her my address and talked her off the phone.

When I got home Courtney was pacing outside my building. I drove into our parking garage and then walked back out to meet Courtney.

“Hi,” She automatically burst into tears when she saw me.

“Hey, come on, let’s get inside,” I put my arm around her and pulled her inside.

“Okay, sit down. Let me get you some water,” I said sitting Courtney down on my couch and I went into the kitchen.

“Thank you,” She said taking the water.

“Now what happened?” I sat in the chair across from her.

“He..he,” She hiccupped and then drank some water before continuing. “He got mad at me because I went out with you. And I…I told him that I told you about Matthew, not about the story, but that he wasn’t mine. He got so mad at me. He thought I was trying to ruin him,” She folded herself onto her knees, covered her face and sobbed.

“I don’t want to upset you more,” I started and put my hand on her back to try and comfort her. “But, you know the relationship Lucas and I have and now he’s pissed at me, I’m sure…why come here?” I tried to phrase it as tactful as possible, but I was really thinking “why would you come here and put me in this position when you know that Lucas and I do not like each other. If he shows up my husband will be pissed.”

“I don’t have anyone else…I’m sorry,” She sat up and tried to get up.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry…” I sat her back down.

“He told me to never speak to him again. He wanted to know what kind of a sister I was that would do that to him,” She sobbed harder. “What kind of sister was I?” She asked indignantly. “I did move across the country for you. I moved in to help you with your son. I was there for you the entire time,” She screamed angrily.

“I know you were. Lucas knows that too. I’m sure he’s just very stressed because he’s being monitored, etcetera and this is something that could hurt him,” I assured her.

“But, you’re not saying anything, right?” Courtney looked me right in the eyes with the tears streaming down her face and I felt like the worst human being ever.

“No,” I said and I couldn’t bring myself to say more without rambling like a lying idiot. Courtney just nodded. “Let me get you some more tissues,” I said and went to my bathroom to retrieve her some fresh tissues.

“Thank you,” She said taking the new ones I gave her.

“Of course.”

“Where’s your husband? I thought he was home now?”

“He’ll be back here in about a month and a half. I wish time had flown by quicker and he’d be home now though,” I smiled.

“I bet, it seems like he’s been gone forever and then your vacation was cut short. I’m sorry about that, I really am,” She put her hand on mine that rested on the arm of the couch.

“It wasn’t your fault. No worries,” I told her, even though I was still annoyed by that whole situation. There were valid reasons and I was getting over it.

“Do you mind if I stay here tonight?” She asked after a long silence.

“Well…uh…do you mind sleeping on the couch? I can clean up the guest room, but it may be a bit,” I felt cornered. I didn’t want her to stay. I did feel bad, but the last thing I needed was Lucas showing up on my doorstep in the middle of the night.

“I just have nowhere to go,” She sniffed.

“Well, relax here and watch some TV and I’ll clean up the guest room, okay?”

“Don’t go to any trouble, please.”

“It’s not bad. I just need to put some things away, it’s fine,” I assured her and walked off toward the guest room.

I hadn’t been here in a while. The last time was to pack up stuff to give to Emily for the baby. I still had a ton of stuff in here for a little girl. I had been meaning to give it away to a homeless shelter or someone I knew with a little girl, but I just hadn’t found the time. Maybe this was it. Most of it had been boxed up, but there were a few things still lying around.
I walked over to the dresser and picked up a bunch of pink and purple onesies that I had gotten at the baby shower. They had matching hats, pants and socks, a gift from Margot. I folded them up and put them into one of the open boxes. There was a pink blanket on the back of the rocking chair in the room and I folded that up too and stowed it away. I then began to put the closed boxes into the closet, just to get them out of the way.

“Where’s your bathroom,” Courtney asked from the doorway and she startled me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” She noticed me all flustered.

“It’s okay, there is one right behind you,” I said feeling the adrenaline leaving my body and I was back to normal.

Courtney went to the bathroom and I went back to moving the boxes into the closet.

“Do you need help?” Courtney asked me, I had heard her come into the room this time.

“Oh, no…I’m fine,” I stuttered.

“What’s with all the baby clothes?” She asked poking into an open box.

“I…It’s personal,” I said. I felt a twinge bad about not sharing personal stuff with her after I got her drunk and made her spill everything.

“Did you and Gabe have a baby?” She asked not letting it go.

“Yes,” I said and closed up the box she was in and took it from her.

“See, I knew you were meant to be a mother,” She smiled.

“I’m not a mother,” I sighed trying to be nice and not be mean to her.

“Do you mind me asking what happened?” Courtney threw herself onto the bed and watched me.

“There was a tear in my placenta and blood got in. I had concealed bleeding, so it was probably happening for a day or so and it killed my baby,” I steadied myself on the boxes in front of me. Was it ever going to get easier? I wasn’t breaking down, but every time I told the story my heart broke into a million pieces again.

“I’m so sorry. You’ll be a great mom though, I know it. I can feel it,” She smiled sympathetically.

“Thank you. It’s just hard. It was so close and then it was over,” I sighed.

“I know that you’ll have it again.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled and put the last two boxes in the closet. “Gabe will be proud that I cleaned it up,” I smiled.

“Honey! I’m home!” I heard someone yell and then the front door close. I ran out of the room and into his arms.

“What are you doing here?” I cried. I had been so good, but seeing Gabe was just overwhelming for me.

“I have two days off and with everything going on…I had to see you,” Gabe squeezed me tight and kissed me.

“Speaking of…Courtney is here,” I whispered.

“What?” He dropped me down and looked totally confused.

“Lucas kicked her out and she came here,” I sighed and I could hear Courtney walking out of the room. I turned to look at her as she made her way down the hall. “Courtney, this is Gabe,” I said awkwardly. I was trying to sound upbeat and like this wasn’t totally weird.

“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you,” Courtney said and shook his hand.

“You too,” Gabe smiled. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” Gabe asked me sweetly.

“Will you excuse us for two minutes?” I asked Courtney and she just nodded and set herself down on the couch in the living room. I followed Gabe back to our bedroom.

“What are you doing?” He asked angrily in a whisper.

“She had nowhere to go and she was already here. What did you want me to do?” I asked.

“How did she know where we lived?”

“I told her,” I sighed and laced my fingers behind my neck.

“What if Lucas showed up? What if he came in and hurt you?” Gabe paced in a circle in the bedroom. He had stopped whispering now and I went and closed the door a bit.

“I asked the same thing. He doesn’t know where she is and he wouldn’t be able to get in any way with the security downstairs,” I defended.

“This is so stupid. What if I hadn’t come home?” He yelled.

“Gabe it’s fine. She had nowhere to go. What was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know, set her up in a hotel?”

“I’m sorry, but I felt bad,” I sighed. I knew things could have gotten out of hand, but I couldn’t just turn her away. I hated being mean.

“Let’s put her up in a hotel for the next few days, okay?” Gabe offered.

“How do I tell her that?”

“I’ll tell her. It’ll be fine and I’m sure she’ll understand with everything going on,” He crossed the room and pulled me into his arms. “I just want you to be safe,” He kissed my head.

“I know, I know,” I whispered into his chest and then he dragged me out into the living room.

“Courtney?” I asked. She wasn’t in the living room any more. I walked back into the bedroom and she wasn’t there and then checked the bathroom. “She’s gone,” I panicked.

“Let’s go look for her,” Gabe sighed and I grabbed my coat. If Courtney got hurt now It would be my fault.