Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands

“We’ll be right here when you wake up,” I assured Meg as I kissed her forehead. Rob was on the bed with her. He hadn’t left her side or stopped telling her everything was going to be fine and he loved her; it made me feel good to see they were okay again.

“I know and I love you for that…” She squeezed my hand as I stood next to her.

“I’ll let you two be alone,” I smiled at both of them and made my way to the waiting area. I wanted to let Rob and Meg have a moment alone before she went in for surgery.

I sat down in the small family waiting area and texted Gabe an update and a good luck on the last show of this little tour. He was going to come back tonight after the show in Detroit. I was going to have to spoil the surprise and we’d have to talk about what we wanted to do. I really wanted him to at least take part in the surprise even if I couldn’t; He deserved it.

“Thanks for being here…staying…” Rob said wearily as he sat next to me. He sounded as if he was going to cry.

“Of course, I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” I reached over and grabbed his hand, it was shaking and then his knee started to bounce. “She’s going to be okay,” I smiled at him and put our hands down on his bouncing knee to stop it. He gave me a half smirk and just nodded.

“Her parents know…I told them and they’re going to come and stay with us when we get back to New York…You know I met everything I said…” Rob trailed.

“I know. You two are disgustingly in love,” I laughed to try and lighten the mood.

“But, what I didn’t say was…that if I lost her it’d kill me. Like I don’t know if I’d recover,” Rob was crying now.

“What did the doctor say?” I asked seriously now.

“He said if it was cancerous, the mass looks to be far along. It looked similar to a stage four ovarian cancer patient…which is not at all promising,” He cried and I just held him tighter.

“They don’t know anything until they do a biopsy. We just have to think positively, okay?” I tried to tell myself to think positively too, but it was hard. I let a few tears escape. Meg was my sister, we grew up together. She was my rock.

“I’m trying, Sadler. I’m really trying, but…” Rob inhaled deeply and sat up breaking away from me. He wiped his eyes. “She’s always good at doing this…” He laughed. “From the moment I met her she was this girl with the tough exterior that could still make you fall in love with her and then would cripple you by making you realize how inadequate you are,” He laughed. “Which made me want her more and try and be a better person for her...fuck that sounded so cheesy and lame.”

“Grow some balls or something,” I teased. “She’s sly about the making you feel inadequate. It’s like she makes you see how you are being a douche without actually telling you that or being a bitch. She’s subtle, but deadly. But, at the end of the day, don’t we all want to strive to be better? She just makes us do that. And she can be a bitch too and will destroy you verbally. Her vocabulary and wit are unparalleled.” I laughed and sat back against the back of my chair.

“God, she’s so amazing…” He trailed. “I need someone to tell me I’m an asshole. And she’s so good to me. She leaves me little notes on the mirror every morning to tell me how much she loves me…I…she chose me to show that side to. And when we first started dating she met Rick Allen the drummer from Def Leppard and had him sign a random piece of paper and she made him put ‘Rob, I only have one arm and I’m still playing the drums,’ and it got me to start playing for fun again…” We both laughed, it sounded like something she would do.

“How come you never let on to me that you were seeing Meg? What happened to change it for you to pursue her? I know her side,” I nodded with a smile. I needed a story and something that would keep us both distracted.

“Well…we were in touch before she brought you back into my life you know. We bumped into each other at a pre-VMA party that her company had put together and she was in party planner mode. I think…no, I know she tried to avoid me, but tried to pass it off as the avoidance was because she was so busy,” Rob laughed shaking his head thinking about it.

“It had been a bit since we had seen each other and the last time we saw each other we were both naked and it got a little awkward. We didn’t know what to do because you and Gabe broke up that same night and a few days passed and Meg came to me and said that we should probably not do anything because then it’d just make things more strained and awkward because our best friends were not on good terms. I agreed and I didn’t want to, her loyalty to you was hot too,” He gave me a wink.

“I always liked her though. When we all first met…it’s possible, like Gabe, I knew then…” Rob was almost daydreaming as he reminisced about the night we all met and how he fell in love with Meg; it was cute.

“I never thought I had a chance. Not in a million years. Look at me,” He panned his hands up and down his body and then pointed to his face. I just rolled my eyes at him. “She’s way out of my league…Anyway, you saw us flirt and by flirt I mean I put my heart on my sleeve and she told me the heart on my sleeve was from ten seasons ago and not yet on the upswing of being fashionable,” He eyed me to agree with him.

“I think I was preoccupied to notice that you were actually flirting with her. I thought you were being nice to her because she was my best friend and your best friend wanted me,” I tried to remember his flirting. “I do remember her putting you in your place a lot.”

“Exactly, she was quick to verbally assault me and wave me off. Then that one night I saw her out. She was with Mike and Sean and I went and talked to them and they left to go to another party and she stayed with me. We talked for a long time and drank and then stumbled back to my house. We talked more and drank more and one thing lead to another,” He sounded almost like he was telling his mom and was quick at the end like I hope you didn’t just hear I slept with your friend.

“Details are not necessary,” I smiled. He was so in love with her it was sick. I knew this, but never truly realized it until now and the way he was talking about her like she was a goddess.

“I rocked, but whatever,” He said matter-of-factly. “Anyway, back to bumping into her at the party. I was gonna let it go and let her avoid me, but she came over and it was a bit awkward, but not too bad. She was actually busy and pulled away about four times before excusing herself. It was just nice to see her. The night was almost over and she found me and gave me one of the artist gift bags, they had extra, and she told me the bag was an offering to make up for the awkward run-in at the beginning of the night and because it was good to see me. I got home and drunkenly went through the bag and it must have been worth five or six grand. She put a note in there…what’d she write…” He trailed trying to think of what the note said.

“She wrote…’Rob, so great to see you. When you call me to hang out I hope you wear the watch that’s in here because it’ll look nice on you,’ and she left her number.”

“Meg operates like a slick dude sometimes. She’s so funny. Confidence has never been an issue with her.”

“She has enough confidence for a third world country,” We chuckled. “So, I called her the next day and asked her out, to which she told me she was busy, but would let me know. I could have killed her at the moment. Then twenty-minutes later she called me back and said yes.”

“I would have thought she was crazy and not wanted anything to do with her,” I could see her doing this in my head. She liked to play games, they were funny to her.

“Where’d you guys go on your first date?” This was such a great distraction. I liked hearing Rob talk about it and hear him gush about Meg. I remember hearing the story from Meg and she sounded just the same – a love sick puppy.

“I took her to Brooklyn Bowl and she fucking smoked me. Her form, if you can call it that, was so cute though. She’d take her strides and then it didn’t get her close enough to the line. She’s a midget and her steps were not enough, so she like tippy-toed until she skid to stop herself from crossing the line and threw the ball down. And then she’d almost moonwalk back to watch the ball nervously and she would glance back at me to see my reaction,” Rob was beaming as he reminisced. “I just watched her every move. She had me enamored all over again. It was like the years we hadn’t seen each other were erased. We, well, I know for me, I felt completely comfortable and I’m pretty sure Meghan did too…we just clicked.”

“You two were better than I would have pegged you for with keeping everything a secret. I mean, when she told me she had run into you and done a few events with you, I didn’t think anything of it. And then when she brought me to you, to bring us back into each other's lives, you two didn’t even flirt or touch. Meg’s always had more guy friends than girlfriends too and you guys were always the ones chatting when Gabe and I were together,” I was going over everything in my head and they really were good at keeping it a secret, but then again it was sort of obvious now.

“Well, we knew thing were not done with Gabe, but at the time you two were apart and we didn’t want to make things awkward. You want best friends to like the ones you’re with and that happened to be you and Gabe, you know. If we hadn’t stopped for gum and booze that one night…” He trailed.

“It was totally fate. Fate brought two couples together,” I nudged him.

“May-be,” He exaggerated.

“Meg leaves you love notes?” I asked to keep the distraction going.

“Just little things that are between us or about how she loves me or things to just make me smile. Like this morning she let me a note on the mirror when I went to shower in the hotel that said ‘Your smile gets me every time,’” Rob smiled.

“She’s so thoughtful and creative. She makes me look like a terrible wife,” I sighed.

“You’re the one taking your husband away and he doesn’t even know where he’s going. You bought him those Nike’s he wanted and got on the list way in advance and signed Meg up too. You send care packages and notes to him all the time. You’re having his baby…sorry, babies.”

“She’s still more thoughtful,” I huffed, pretending I wasn’t good enough and just smirked at him.

“She is really thoughtful. God, it makes me mad that I was such a dick to her. I was scared, Sade, you know?” I was getting worked up and he moved from his seat to swivel and look at me. I nodded to show him I was listening and understood. “She rented me a space in Chicago. She asked me for my blessing to apply for the job and only if I would be up to it. She considered me before I considered her…She would have stayed for me. I thought I was thinking of her first and I was, just her and not us, which was my mistake. I just didn’t want her to miss out and didn’t want to hold her back because I wasn’t ready.”

“Stop beating yourself up, Rob. She forgave you. She understood. You need to forgive yourself and I know you’re just rehashing it because of the situation we’re in right now, but don’t. It’s not worth it. She loves you and you love her and the past is the past, okay?” I was stern with him.

“The other day, we got into this fight. It started out small, just me joking with her, but sort of serious. You know how she loves her purses and shoes and all of that, well she came home with yet another new one and I asked her how much it was. I knew then it was done,” He laughed. “It’s like asking a woman her age to her. The purse was $1,200! I mean, it’s her money and she treats herself when she gets a little bonus, but we’re really trying to save for a bigger place, but hopefully a brownstone in Brooklyn. So, we fought and then we made up, we try not to go to sleep mad or let it fester. Anyway, the next day I was at the bar and she brought me and Erica Taco Bell and had my burrito branded with a heart and this is why I love her, she goes ‘And that heart cost fifteen hundred to do,’ she’s such a bitch,” He laughed.

“See she loves you despite it all,” I rolled my eyes at him and faked like it was overkill.

“Who am I going to fight with? I need someone like her to fight with.”

“Can you stop acting like she’s gonna die, please,” I almost shouted in frustration. I liked reminiscing and all, but now it was taking a turn and it was making me anxious too. “She’s not gonna die and you two are going to fight each other to the grave, okay?” I was agitated now.

“You’re right…I’m sorry. I’m just scared. She’s gonna be fine. I know it. I wish they let us stay with her as they prepped her. It makes this process seem like forever. I mean she’s sitting for over an hour by herself. She hasn’t even gone in yet,” Rob said as he looked at the clock.

“I know. I hate this waiting knowing she’s doing the same.”

“Want a coffee? I need to walk and get some air,” Rob stretched as he stood up.

“Yeah, that’ll be nice and get me a magazine?” I smiled.

“Of course. Playgirl?”

“Duh and maybe Hustler to even out my raunchy for the day?”

“Done,” Rob clapped and left the waiting area and rounded the corner.

“Hey! What’s the status?” I heard someone say in my direction. I looked to my side, I had been staring out the window; it was Emily along with Rob’s coworker, Brooks and our college friend Sean. I leapt up and hugged Emily.

“What are you guys doing here?” I laughed.

“We were in the neighborhood. We were thinking about stealing flowers from patients rooms and then we saw you sitting here,” Brooks said flatly.

“Funny. She’s still just waiting. She goes in for surgery in about ten minutes. Shouldn’t take long, all laparoscopic hopefully,” I said as I released Emily and went and hugged Sean.

“What brings you in?” I asked.

“Well, Emily called me and told me what was going on and I had to be here and she’s a mom that needed a cheap place and as you know I am now a US resident again in Chi-Town,” Sean squeezed me tightly and then dropped me back down.

“It’s good to see you. I know Meg will shit with excitement,” I smiled.

“God, it’s like I’m not important or anything,” Brooks groaned sarcastically.

“Hi Brooks,” I laughed and gave him a hug.

“That was a pity hug, but I’ll take it,” He said and pushed my shoulder.

“I found this guy down the hall,” Ian said as he joined us with Levi in his arms and Rob next to him.

“You guys know she’s just in overnight, right?” Rob laughed to most likely push back the tears that were audible in his voice.

“Sarti hasn’t been pulling his weight, so I’m just here to see if he can do it without me,” Brooks teased. Sarti was another member of the ISurrender team.

“Thank you guys for coming. I know Meghan will be so happy to see you all,” Rob smiled. “I guess I need more coffee.”

“I’ll take Levi and go get some!” I offered and scooped Levi into my arms and gave Ian a quick kiss all in one swift move.

“I’ll go with you,” Emily offered.

“Hi my little man,” I cooed lowly to Levi. He was still a bit sleepy and clung to me, resting his tiny head on my shoulder.

“He’s not so little anymore,” Em laughed and stroked his head while we walked down the hospital hallway.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” I confessed. “I need advice and more support than I think I can give to Rob and myself,” I laughed nervously.

“I’m glad I’m here too. I couldn’t imagine not being here for her and Rob. What’s the advice you need?”

“I don’t know what to do about my trip…it’ll kill me to call after planning it all and they’re all excited,” I said nervously.

“Go on the trip. Gabe is going to be so excited and you two need to get away. It’s why we’re here too. Ian and I took the week off. I got a substitute and he is actually going to work out of his publisher’s office here for a bit, but lightly. We want to be here for Meg and partially because we wanted to make sure you went on your trip. You know she’d want you to go,” Emily hooked her arm with mine, right above Levi’s dangling leg; he was out once again.

“I was just feeling so guilty about going. A lot can happen in two weeks, you know?”

“She’s going to be fine. She’s one of the strongest people I know. And we’ll all be in touch if anything happens, relax,” She squeezed me and Levi stirred in my arms, waking up, but not really and laid his head back down. I melted.

“I’m so in love with this kid, it’s unreal. How adorable is he?” I rubbed his little back.

“He’s pretty cute,” She sighed looking at him.

Emily and I got some food and coffee and went back o the waiting area with everyone else. Levi woke up and started walking and crawling around and he kept us entertained while we waited. After an hour the doctor came to talk to Rob. We all went silent and I think collectively held our breaths.

The doctor took Rob down the hall, which made me tense up. I wanted to cry already and we didn’t have any news at all; I just felt this overwhelming sense that there was something wrong. I wanted to rush in and get the news with Rob too. Emily took my hand in hers; she obviously was thinking the worst too. We just had to wait and it was getting harder to do just that.