Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands

“I would really like to actually feed my babies instead of trying to pump. I’m getting nothing and it hurts. I’d also like to see my babies,” I whined to the nurse.

“I know. The babies were early, but your milk will come in soon, but more so if we get you pumping. Visiting is at 7 and you can go see the babies then. We wanted you to feel better and up to seeing them. You should be able to actually hold your babies in a few days. Just want to make sure they’re strong enough,” She said as she tested some of my milk to make sure it was clean of all the drugs I was on to give the twins.

“I’m sorry…” I said as I finished pumping, which hurt.

“Don’t worry about it. I’d be the same way and you’re not the only mother to be this way.” She assured me.

“That’s reassuring,” I laughed.

“Let me clean you up and take care of you and then in an hour or so we’ll take you to look at your babies.” She said helping me clean up a little. “Have you thought of names?”

“We’ve got some bouncing around, but once my husband and I see our babies I think we’ll have the perfect ones.”

“I’m sure you will. Sometimes they just choose their names.”

“Knowing their parents…yes, to that.” I was in some mild pain and stopped myself from laughing.

“Your parents are dropped off at the hotel and we’re all alone,” Gabe said as he came into the room.

“Thank you for taking them over. I’m just getting cleaned up and then around 7 we can go look at the babies.”

“Thank you for taking such good care of her and putting up with our never ending brood,” Gabe said sweetly to our nurse.

“My pleasure. I’ll be back in an hour to get you set up to see the babies.” She said and left.

“Names…she asked about names and now I have like no clue.” I confessed to Gabe.

“So, I was thinking Atticus Jack Saporta, but no one is ever allowed to call him AJ. I know you hate that.” Gabe settled in on the bed with me. He sat at my feet so he didn’t knock out any wires or disrupt my healing.

“Oh god, I do hate that so much. I really like that name…Did he look like an Atticus?” Gabe rubbed my legs and feet and it was magical feeling after so much stress.

“He’s strong and yeah, I think so. You need to see him first too. What about our little lady?”

“How do you feel about Madeline Olive Saporta. Instead of using Olivia like we were going to for LOS, let’s make it Olive, which is cute, right?”

“LOS would definitely enjoy MOS and the nod to her older sister.”

“You realize we’d have like a toddler by now? Is that weird to even still think about?” I asked Gabe, getting a little emotional.

“No, definitely not. I can’t imagine with everything we’ve been through the last few years to have brought a toddler up in it.” Gabe laughed and laid his head on my legs.

“I’m sure it’ll be like having a toddler with two babies. Non stop action. Can you believe we have kids?”

“Um, no. It just seems so unreal…I’m so fucking nervous too,” Gabe hugged my legs and I just sighed. I was so tired, but I didn’t want to miss my visiting hour window.

“Atticus and Madeline?”

“Or Hudson, I really like Hudson too…” I yawned.

“I like Hudson a lot too. When we see him we can figure it out.”

“Gabe…” I said fading in and out of sleep.

“Yes?” He laughed and rustled my feet to get me to wake up.

“I love you,” I smiled, I’m sure dopily looking.

“I love you too, mama.” He smiled at me and got up and came around to give me a kiss.

“Why haven’t we heard from Em or Rob?: I asked before his lips were even off of mine. He just laughed.

“We will hear from them. Let us have our moment,” He caressed my face.

“Sorry…” I pulled him back down for a kiss. “Also, not that we’ll probably have time or even be wanting to because of exhaustion, but…we can’t have sex…well at least I can’t for like 6 weeks.”

“But handy’s and bj’s for me?”

“Totally. I can handle two babies and you at once,” I laughed and winced a bit at the same time.

“You’re too good to me,” He sighed and the nurse came into the room behind him.

“We’re gonna get you ready to go visit.”

Gabe and the nurse helped me swing around and then into the wheelchair. I was just stiff from sitting and being numb. It felt good and a little uncomfortable all at once to sit in the wheelchair. Gabe put a blanket over my legs and he wheeled me down the hall. I was getting nervous and excited all at the same time. I reached back and put my hand over Gabe’s hand on the handle to the wheelchair and he kissed the top of my head.

We were able to go to their little incubators and i just started crying. I couldn’t believe that I had carried these little babies in front of me and that they were actually mine. I also just wanted them to be super healthy and not in the incubators. I felt Gabe lean down to my level and he just held me and kissed my cheek.

“I know, love…I know…” He whispered with a crack in his voice. He did know.

“Okay, so I’ll come back in a bit. Congratulations again,” Our nurse said as she left us alone with our babies.

“Atticus Hudson Saporta…what do you think?” I asked after a long silence of us just staring at the both of them.

“What about the Jack?”

“Jack is there…he’s always there, but this is our baby…”

“He looks like an Atticus” Gabe kissed my head and sighed.

“My, baby girl…you’re so strong. Look at you…”I started. “I don’t know if she’s a Madeline…I think she’s a Sloane…you know that it means strong protector…” I was teary eyed.

“Sloane Olive Meghan Saporta,” Gabe put his hand on top of the incubator as he said the name.

“We’re going really latina with three names aren’t we?” I laughed a bit looking up at him.

“Atticus Hudson Jack Saporta. I’m sorry, but Jack is gonna be in the name.”

“I love our little family. Our strong, beautiful family,” I sighed putting my hand on Gabe’s hip as he stood next to me.

“They’re gonna hate how many names they have,” He laughed and then just started crying.

“Oh, Gabe…” I started to tear up too and tried to pull him down to me to just hold him. He knelt down and rested his head in my lap. I stroked his head and he just held me as if I were going to run away at any second.

“You’re my love…we did this…we’re gonna be great,” I said through tears. I wasn’t really making any sense or probably easing Gabe, but it was what I was feeling and what I could get out.

“I mean, we couldn’t go the traditional route…we had to go big and have two, right? Two at once and then everything we’ve been through and Meg. I’m just so overwhelmed. I’m sorry.”

“Do you think I’m not overwhelmed?” I laughed and ran my hands through his hair. “I think I’m still in shock really to process that we have two babies and we need a bigger apartment in a few years.”

“Okay, I don’t need one more thing,” Gabe laughed and stood up.

“Sorry. Let’s just gaze at our beautiful kids.”

“They are beautiful. We’re beautiful, so obviously we’d have gorgeous children.” I tried to lighten the mood. I held Gabe’s hand as he was still crying a bit. I was surprised with all I had been through and being so hormonal I wasn’t crying too, but I think I was dried up on tears.

“I’m sorry, but visiting time is up,” The nurse said as she came into the room.

“They have to be the most beautiful babies in here, am I right?” Gabe asked as he rubbed my shoulders.

“Well, of course and they're double the cute,’ She smiled and I was turned around and wheeled out.

“That wasn’t enough time. What time can we go back and see them?” I asked as we made our way back to my room.

“You can go back really whenever. Just the first night we want you to rest and the babies need to be stable. Tomorrow you should be up and around better and you can go down to see them as soon as you get up,” My nurse said as she walked with us.

“I’m setting an alarm for 6am,” I told Gabe as i leaned my head back to look up at him.

“Okay, love, okay,” He laughed.

“Aren’t you excited to see them again?”

“Yes, babe, but I want their mother to be healthy and recover from major surgery. Your insides were all outside of your body and put back in — that is a lot. I’m right, Nicole, aren’t I?” Gabe asked our nurse, sounding like he had already won this fight.

“He’s right,” She laughed not wanting to tell me he had won this battle.

“Okay, okay…I’m exhausted and will wait till I wake up around 9 before i’m at their incubators.” I said as I was wheeled into my room. Gabe helped me into bed. Gabe covered me with my blanket and Nicole took my vitals for the night.

“Can we call Rob? Please?” I asked as I situated myself in bed.

“Of course, but lets get you ready,” Gabe fluffed my pillows and crawled in next to me.

“Looks like he called a few times while we were in the other room,” Gabe showed me his phone and he had 4 missed calls from Rob. I got a pang of panic in my chest.

“Hey, man…didn’t even listen to the messages we were visiting our babies…”

“Put it on speaker,” I instructed Gabe.

“How are my tiny Saporta’s doing? Have we named them yet?” He was being polite and asking about us, but I was not in the mood for pleasantries.

“Rob, we’ll tell you after. I can’t be this worked up right now. How’s Meg? How are you?” I cut in.

“She woke up for a minute earlier…she woke up. Meg’s back in a sleep now and not a coma, but she’s looking better,” Rob sounded so optimistic.

“That’s awesome…we are so excited.” Gabe said in a wave of relief.

“What are the docs saying, boo?” I asked excitedly and groggily.

“Doctors seem optimistic. They say her brain activity is great. I’m optimistic. She’s a tough bitch, you know this!” Rob laughed. He sounded so much lighter and at ease. I was more at ease now.

“Duh, she’s definitely gonna claw through this,” I was so excited and relieved and tired all at once.

“We’re so happy, dude. I’m gonna come by tomorrow, I’ll bring baby pictures.”

“How are the babes?”

“The babes are great. We just got to see them for a tiny bit. Sadie needs her rest and to recover,” Gabe said and gave me a smile.

“Have we named them?” Rob was so happy and it made me happy.

“Yes, yes we have names. Right, Gabe? We just, well, I’m pretty sure we named them,” I laughed and looked to Gabe to confirm.

“Yes, Rob Hitt and Roberta Hitt Saporta,” Gabe teased.

“Gorgeous!”

“Sloane Olive Meghan and Atticus Hudson Jack,” I smiled as I said their full names. “We just couldn’t decided and we wanted to honor so many people,” I leaned into Gabe and he put his arm around me.

“Wow, they are going to hate you when they have to fill out forms and it asks for their middle name or initial,” Rob laughed.

“And hate us for such long names, but we wanted Meghan and Jack in their names,” I didn’t know what Meg’s situation would be, if she’d pull through or not, but I wanted her to be honored; she was my best friend and I couldn't imagine her not being in my children’s lives - in person or in spirit.

“Meg will definitely never let you forget you giving her so much power over your first born girl. I hope you’re ready for Sloane to be a mini Meg.”

“I can only hope she’s a small slice of Meg. She’d be so lucky,” I said teary eyed all of a sudden.

“We’d all be so lucky,” Rob sighed.

“Love you fantasy. I can’t wait for you to meet these kids and I can’t wait to see you and Meg. As soon as I’m discharged it’s where I’ll be,” I assured him.

“I cant wait. I’ll let you get some rest. Love you guys! Talk to you soon!”

Gabe hung up and pulled me closer and held me. I put my arms around him, I wanted to hold him tighter, but I was exhausted and I fell immediately asleep in the wash of relief and excitement that my best friend was on the mend.