Dancing At The Disco

English class, period 5, grade 12.

Last year of high school. I was so ready to get out of this dump, and hopefully progress as a band with my good friends. But something was still eating away inside of me. One of those good friends on mine.. Well.. I liked him. A lot. I had never told anyone about it, or the fact that I was gay. Even Spencer didn’t know. I was never really sure about it until now. I knew by the way I looked at him, acted around him, the way I lost my words in his presence that it more than friendship for me. Which friend might this be, you ask? Well, dear friends, it was no other than the infamous Brendon Urie. I just couldn’t help myself. Those eyes, that smile, that laugh, that ass.. I couldn’t help but smile a little. The thought that he would never like me back brought my mood crashing back down to the floor. I sighed, and looked up at the clock at the front of the class. 3 minutes ‘til the bell. Leaning back in my seat, I began to scan the room, something I do a lot. Soon, of course, I was staring over in his direction while he chewed on the eraser end of his pencil, completely ignoring today’s current lesson. He’d never catch me looking, though. He never did. But, as people have probably told you multiple times, never say never. For he just so happened to turn his head over in my direction. Our eyes locked, those chocolate swirls surprised to see me looking back. I couldn’t look away, as much as I wanted to. I was staring now.. Those eyes were just so captivating. He didn’t seem to mind, for he gave me a goofy smile and a small wave. I blinked and waved back. ‘Tell him, tell him, tell him.’ my mind screamed. Within those few moments we kept our gaze, I made the decision to pull him aside after class and spill the beans.

Drrriiiinng.

Everybody shot up out their seats at the exact same time and bolted for the door, chit-chattering along the way, planning things for the weekend. I boldly cut through the pack of people and he came into view, gathering his books. “Hey, Ryro.” he said, seeing me in front of him. I smiled inside at the little nickname. “I know I’m good looking, Ry, but to stare? You’re gonna make me blush.” he teased, grinning from ear to ear.

“Brendon.” I said, my tone even too serious for me. His head tilted a little to the side, questioning my seriousness. “I have to tell you something.” He looked taken aback, but followed me when I asked him to accompany me. I didn’t bother stopping at my locker right away, I just needed to get him outside and to my car so that we could be away from prying eyes and ears. He didn’t speak the whole time, just followed close behind me as I neared my car in the parking lot metres away from the school. I opened the driver’s door and slid inside, him doing the same thing on the other side. We sat there in silence for half a minute before I spoke again. Seeing as how I had the courage now, and that I had him alone, I didn’t want to beat around the bush. “I.. Brendon, I like you.” the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could really control myself. I wouldn’t look at him, though, so my eyes stayed glued to the carpeted floor. The car became dead silent after my little confession. ‘Oh shit, what have I done.’ I thought to myself. He was probably thinking how disgusting it was, for me to like -maybe love- him. A boy. I brought my head up and forced myself to look at him. “Brendon, what I meant was-” but I was cut off by his lips meeting mine ever so softly. Those sweet, plump lips were actually on mine. My mind was screaming, my stomach unleashing a million butterflies. I couldn’t think of anything to do except kiss back.

Soon -too soon, I thought- the kiss was over and he was sitting back again. I remained frozen to the spot, unable to think of anything to say. “I’ve been waiting years to here that, Ryan..” Brendon whispered, his face soft. I continued to stare at him, his words imprinting themselves in my brain. “I just… I never knew how to tell you. Thank god you had the balls to.” he chuckled light heartedly. Once again, no words seemed to make enough sense to say at this moment, so I merely smiled and leaned in to kiss him again. This seemed to satisfy him as this kiss became more comfortable than the last.

Like most good things that have ever happened in my life, I expected this relationship we had, to be nothing but a fling. I mean, love wasn’t going to get involved.. Was it? Those 3 little words had never been exchanged between us before. He was more like a ‘really close friend’ than a boyfriend.

But things change.