To Be Loved
chapter 4.
We arrive at the club, our arms intertwined and our laughs echoing through the parking lot. Your skin is soft and warm against mine, and I can’t help but steal glances at you as you talk animatedly about the band we’re going to see. We approach the long queue outside the venue. Your dark hair is tousled and flies about your face in the breeze. Your eyes glow as they meet mine, a smile resting on your face gently. I can’t help but smile back as we take our place at the back of the line.
“We haven’t been to a show in forever,” I say, looking at the brick wall you lean against. The bricks seem almost painted with nostalgia. Remember when we were back in high school, Oli? We would sneak in to see all of our favorite bands. We sang along to every word and came back to school the next day to show off our battle scars. Black eyes, broken ribs, aching feet. All worth it for you. You, and the music. The music pushed us into a trance, all of our bodies moving, adhering to the same pulsating beat beneath our shoes. We were drawn together by the music, Oli. Back then, I had never felt so close to you as I did then. Tonight feels like the past. I’ve missed us like this.
“I know, I’ve missed it. Remember when we saw The Bouncing Souls?” I laugh softly and nod. Of course I remember. We both got locked out of our houses that night and camped out in your backyard. We had both managed to scrub the X’s on our hands that marked us as minors and we had snuck a couple of whiskies. My first bad hangover didn’t seem so bad when I woke up with my head on your chest and your arm around my waist.
“Think you’ll have any whiskey tonight, Aud?” You say. I can hear the teasing in your voice even without looking at you.
“Ha ha ha,” I say, sticking my tongue out at you. You’re about to laugh and mess up my hair like you always do, when your phone goes off in your pocket. Your hand flies to it, answering quickly.
“Hello?” I can hear a demanding voice on the other end of the line, and you flinch slightly. “I’m outside the White Rabbit right now, Ells, I can’t exactly leave,” more chattering from the other end of the line. You look over at me nervously, your hand going to your pocket to pull out your cigarettes. You move to hold the phone between your head and your shoulder, putting one between your lips and holding your lighter out to me with a pleading look in your eyes. “You really wouldn’t want to come, Ellie, it’s not your kind of thing…” I click the lighter and the voice on the other end gets louder, angrier. “No! No, of course not, I’m not smoking, baby, I promised you I’d quit, remember?” You take the lighter back from me and put it back in your pocket, mouthing ‘Thank you’ to me. “Yes, Audrey’s here, Ellie,” you say, quieter this time. I act as if I can’t hear you, taking my mirror out of my purse and fiddling with it. “Look, I’ll come over later tonight, okay? Promise.” You pause and the voice on the end becomes softer, less rattling through the small speaker. “Okay. I’ll see you later, Ells. I love you.” You hang up and take a long drag on your previously neglected cigarette, exhaling heavily and turning to me.
“Sorry, Aud,” you mutter quietly. I smile at you and steal your cigarette, taking a small puff and blowing a smoke ring your way.
“Don’t worry about it, you can’t help that you’re whipped,” I tease.
“Ha ha, very funny,” you say, taking the cigarette back and taking a long drag, blowing the smoke towards the sky. You looked so beautiful in that moment, Oli. Your face was half-illuminated by the streetlamp overhead. Your profile contrasted with the night sky, the stars seeming to align around you, and the moon matches the curve of your chin. Even the sky recognizes your perfection, giving up its spot center stage and moving to frame you. You look over and smile your beaming smile, your eyes crinkling slightly at the corners.
“You’re pretty magic, you know that?” You say abruptly as we near the front of the line.
I smile at you, blushing and say “Yeah?”
You look at me with a look in your eyes as if you’re speaking the gospel truth and say
“Yeah.”
“We haven’t been to a show in forever,” I say, looking at the brick wall you lean against. The bricks seem almost painted with nostalgia. Remember when we were back in high school, Oli? We would sneak in to see all of our favorite bands. We sang along to every word and came back to school the next day to show off our battle scars. Black eyes, broken ribs, aching feet. All worth it for you. You, and the music. The music pushed us into a trance, all of our bodies moving, adhering to the same pulsating beat beneath our shoes. We were drawn together by the music, Oli. Back then, I had never felt so close to you as I did then. Tonight feels like the past. I’ve missed us like this.
“I know, I’ve missed it. Remember when we saw The Bouncing Souls?” I laugh softly and nod. Of course I remember. We both got locked out of our houses that night and camped out in your backyard. We had both managed to scrub the X’s on our hands that marked us as minors and we had snuck a couple of whiskies. My first bad hangover didn’t seem so bad when I woke up with my head on your chest and your arm around my waist.
“Think you’ll have any whiskey tonight, Aud?” You say. I can hear the teasing in your voice even without looking at you.
“Ha ha ha,” I say, sticking my tongue out at you. You’re about to laugh and mess up my hair like you always do, when your phone goes off in your pocket. Your hand flies to it, answering quickly.
“Hello?” I can hear a demanding voice on the other end of the line, and you flinch slightly. “I’m outside the White Rabbit right now, Ells, I can’t exactly leave,” more chattering from the other end of the line. You look over at me nervously, your hand going to your pocket to pull out your cigarettes. You move to hold the phone between your head and your shoulder, putting one between your lips and holding your lighter out to me with a pleading look in your eyes. “You really wouldn’t want to come, Ellie, it’s not your kind of thing…” I click the lighter and the voice on the other end gets louder, angrier. “No! No, of course not, I’m not smoking, baby, I promised you I’d quit, remember?” You take the lighter back from me and put it back in your pocket, mouthing ‘Thank you’ to me. “Yes, Audrey’s here, Ellie,” you say, quieter this time. I act as if I can’t hear you, taking my mirror out of my purse and fiddling with it. “Look, I’ll come over later tonight, okay? Promise.” You pause and the voice on the end becomes softer, less rattling through the small speaker. “Okay. I’ll see you later, Ells. I love you.” You hang up and take a long drag on your previously neglected cigarette, exhaling heavily and turning to me.
“Sorry, Aud,” you mutter quietly. I smile at you and steal your cigarette, taking a small puff and blowing a smoke ring your way.
“Don’t worry about it, you can’t help that you’re whipped,” I tease.
“Ha ha, very funny,” you say, taking the cigarette back and taking a long drag, blowing the smoke towards the sky. You looked so beautiful in that moment, Oli. Your face was half-illuminated by the streetlamp overhead. Your profile contrasted with the night sky, the stars seeming to align around you, and the moon matches the curve of your chin. Even the sky recognizes your perfection, giving up its spot center stage and moving to frame you. You look over and smile your beaming smile, your eyes crinkling slightly at the corners.
“You’re pretty magic, you know that?” You say abruptly as we near the front of the line.
I smile at you, blushing and say “Yeah?”
You look at me with a look in your eyes as if you’re speaking the gospel truth and say
“Yeah.”
♠ ♠ ♠
this is basically just the lead-up for the next chapter, when all the good stuff happens!all my subscribers, i adore you.
all eight of you. (:
<3