Status: Permanent Hiatus
Mistakes in the Dark Turn to Blessings in the Light
Chapter 11
"Positive."The voice over the phone told me.
I couldn't breath. I felt like I was about to have a panic attack, which I haven't had one since a year after my mom died.
"Shana?"The voice asked.
"Okay thank you."I said before hanging up. I didn't want to break down on the phone, with some stranger on the other line.Then I fell to the floor and sat there, not even trying to control the tears forming in my eyes.
"Shana, are you okay?"A voice asked. It was Billie Joe."What's the matter?"
Shit! I thought. This was the last thing I needed. Joey didn't even know and now I was going to have to tell Billie. I know I could probably lie, but that's just not me. I haven't been able to lie since I was little. The words come out wrong and I choke. Everybody who knows me can tell when I'm lying.
"Nothing."I choked.
"You really expect me to believe that?"He asked, coming over and picking me up and placing me on the couch then sitting down next to me.
"No, not really."I told him.
"Then what is it?Now you've made it clear to me somethings wrong. You have to tell me now."He said.
I looked up at him."No I can't."I told him.
"Yes, you can. Haven't you figured out you can tell me anything? If it's something nobody is meant to know, I'll take it to my grave."He told me."Shana, please? This hurts seeing you like this. Just talk to me."
I looked into his pleading green eyes and knew what he was saying was true. He didn't look hurt."Fine, you would find out soon anyway. I guess this is something you can't really hide for very long."
"What does that mean?" Does this have anything to do with Joey? Please tell me you're not having problems."He said, looking half nervous.
"No, he doesn't even know this yet. I just found out from the person who called."I told him, getting ready to tell him, but I was feeling more of a challenge seeing if I could even bring myself to tell him.
"Oh, who was that anyway?"He asked, I think he was starting to catch on to what was going on.
"It was somebody I saw yesterday. Okay, enough screwing around. I want to just tell you this right now and get it over with. Billie, I'm pregnant."I said.
I watched him, all the color drain out of his face, I swear I don't even think he was breathing as he stared wide eyed at me.
"Are you serious?!"He asked.
"Yeah."I told him.
He didn't sit around to talk to me about it. I knew he was amazed, I was too. But sitting there by myself for a little bit thinking about what I had just told him, I started thinking about something else. He was gonna fucking kill Joey!
I couldn't breath. I felt like I was about to have a panic attack, which I haven't had one since a year after my mom died.
"Shana?"The voice asked.
"Okay thank you."I said before hanging up. I didn't want to break down on the phone, with some stranger on the other line.Then I fell to the floor and sat there, not even trying to control the tears forming in my eyes.
"Shana, are you okay?"A voice asked. It was Billie Joe."What's the matter?"
Shit! I thought. This was the last thing I needed. Joey didn't even know and now I was going to have to tell Billie. I know I could probably lie, but that's just not me. I haven't been able to lie since I was little. The words come out wrong and I choke. Everybody who knows me can tell when I'm lying.
"Nothing."I choked.
"You really expect me to believe that?"He asked, coming over and picking me up and placing me on the couch then sitting down next to me.
"No, not really."I told him.
"Then what is it?Now you've made it clear to me somethings wrong. You have to tell me now."He said.
I looked up at him."No I can't."I told him.
"Yes, you can. Haven't you figured out you can tell me anything? If it's something nobody is meant to know, I'll take it to my grave."He told me."Shana, please? This hurts seeing you like this. Just talk to me."
I looked into his pleading green eyes and knew what he was saying was true. He didn't look hurt."Fine, you would find out soon anyway. I guess this is something you can't really hide for very long."
"What does that mean?" Does this have anything to do with Joey? Please tell me you're not having problems."He said, looking half nervous.
"No, he doesn't even know this yet. I just found out from the person who called."I told him, getting ready to tell him, but I was feeling more of a challenge seeing if I could even bring myself to tell him.
"Oh, who was that anyway?"He asked, I think he was starting to catch on to what was going on.
"It was somebody I saw yesterday. Okay, enough screwing around. I want to just tell you this right now and get it over with. Billie, I'm pregnant."I said.
I watched him, all the color drain out of his face, I swear I don't even think he was breathing as he stared wide eyed at me.
"Are you serious?!"He asked.
"Yeah."I told him.
He didn't sit around to talk to me about it. I knew he was amazed, I was too. But sitting there by myself for a little bit thinking about what I had just told him, I started thinking about something else. He was gonna fucking kill Joey!