Status: Permanent Hiatus
Mistakes in the Dark Turn to Blessings in the Light
Chapter 8
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That was probably the best day of my life, well except for my last birthday, but we'll get to that later.
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I rode home with Adrienne, not talking much.
"Are you scared?"Adie asked, breaking the silence.
"About what?"I asked. I know it was probably a stupid question, but I was tired and so much has happened today.
"About being pregnant."She said.
"Wait, Adie we don't even know for sure if I am."I said.
"Yes you do."She said, never taking her eyes off the road. "You know you do, Shana, it's hard to fake."
"Why the hell are you talking like such a crazy person?"
"I don't mean to sound like a crazy person, but you know what I mean. This is happening for a reason Shane, everything does. Stop denying and just say it, you're pregnant."
"You don't know that." I said slamming my fists on the dashboard.
"See you are scared, you can't even admit what you know is right."She said.
"No I'm not scared for me, I'm scared for Joey and this baby. What if he doesn't want to do this and he leaves me. I don't know if I can handle that. And I'm scared for this baby. I'm scared that he or she is going to have to grow up without their daddy there to take care of them."I said, finally breaking down.
"He will, he might not be fully prepared, but he'll do this for you. And even if everything does go wrong you still have me and Billie."She said, grabbing my hand.
"What do you mean he'll do this for me?"I asked looking at her.
"He loves you so much Shana. You probably have no idea how much actually. And I know it's to the point he'll do anything for you."She said.
"I know, I love him a lot too."Then as I looked at her she looked back I told her this:"Actually Adie, I love your son more than you or Billie know. I love him more than anything.I need you to realize that."
"I know."She said.
"And because of that I don't want to put him in a position he's not ready to be in."I told her.
She didn't answer. I actually think deep down she's scared herself.
That was probably the best day of my life, well except for my last birthday, but we'll get to that later.
**********
I rode home with Adrienne, not talking much.
"Are you scared?"Adie asked, breaking the silence.
"About what?"I asked. I know it was probably a stupid question, but I was tired and so much has happened today.
"About being pregnant."She said.
"Wait, Adie we don't even know for sure if I am."I said.
"Yes you do."She said, never taking her eyes off the road. "You know you do, Shana, it's hard to fake."
"Why the hell are you talking like such a crazy person?"
"I don't mean to sound like a crazy person, but you know what I mean. This is happening for a reason Shane, everything does. Stop denying and just say it, you're pregnant."
"You don't know that." I said slamming my fists on the dashboard.
"See you are scared, you can't even admit what you know is right."She said.
"No I'm not scared for me, I'm scared for Joey and this baby. What if he doesn't want to do this and he leaves me. I don't know if I can handle that. And I'm scared for this baby. I'm scared that he or she is going to have to grow up without their daddy there to take care of them."I said, finally breaking down.
"He will, he might not be fully prepared, but he'll do this for you. And even if everything does go wrong you still have me and Billie."She said, grabbing my hand.
"What do you mean he'll do this for me?"I asked looking at her.
"He loves you so much Shana. You probably have no idea how much actually. And I know it's to the point he'll do anything for you."She said.
"I know, I love him a lot too."Then as I looked at her she looked back I told her this:"Actually Adie, I love your son more than you or Billie know. I love him more than anything.I need you to realize that."
"I know."She said.
"And because of that I don't want to put him in a position he's not ready to be in."I told her.
She didn't answer. I actually think deep down she's scared herself.