Things Have Changed

I couldn’t believe I had let myself be violated in such a way. Every inch of me felt dirty.

When I got home the next morning I had a hot shower and spent over an hour scrubbing my skin, trying to rid myself from him, scrubbing to the point where my skin began to bleed.

I let the tears fall freely while Lilly wasn’t around but promptly stopped when she got home. She may be one of my closest friends, but there are some things she doesn’t need to know. Ryan called to ask how everything was going. I lied to him of course, because he would be disgusted in me if he knew the truth.

Monday rolled around all to quickly and I was back at work again.

I arrived to stares and whispers, gossip and condescending laughs followed me as I got to my work station.

I looked over at Mitch, who had a smug smile on his face.

It was then I publicly broke into tears. He had told, everyone. From the cleaners to the board members, from receptionists to editors, everyone knew what was meant to be a secret.

I ran to the bathroom, throwing up the little contents of my stomach. Devastated wouldn’t even sum up the way I was feeling right now, perhaps shattered and broken would suit better. After ten minutes of dry wrenching over the toilet, I finally mustered up the courage to face him.

I stormed at full speed towards Mitch’s desk with every intention of making sure he would never be able to have children. He smiled when he saw me approaching “Liz, how's the weekend been going?”

My hand came in contact with the side of his face “How dare you” I hissed “You weren’t meant to tell anyone.”
“I didn’t”

I raised my eyebrows.

“Fine so it might have come out over drinks” he grinned smugly.

I hit him again “I could have you up for blackmail you know, workplace harassment and... rape.”

He laughed dryly “You agreed to it love, it takes two to tango, well in this case fuck and besides, you’re the NME whore. Who do you think people are going to believe slutty Liz or me?”

I wound up to kick him hard when I heard Mark’s voice come from outside his office “Liz, inside, now.”

I walked inside the office. It had a completely glass wall which showed a gloomy London skyline.
He sighed, gesturing me to sit down on the plush couch aka the sacked couch.
Everyone who ever sits on that couch knows that they’re going to be sacked once they sit there. I sat down, struggling to hold back my tears.

“Liz” he sighed, pacing the room “I really, really don’t know what to do with you.”

“I’m so so sorr-” I started.

“Save it Liz, I don’t want to hear it. Not even a day after I warn you, you fuck up again, this is pathetic.”

“I’m sorry” I cried.

“I don’t care; do you realise how badly this reflects on the magazine, having colleagues shagging each other as friends with benefits?”

“It’s not like tha-”

“Save it Liz, I don’t want to hear it! I think it’s best if you went home today.”

“Please Mark, please don’t fire me, please, just give me another chance please.”

“Liz, go home” he sighed opening the door for me.

The next three days were spent lying on the couch eating ice cream and watching Breakfast At Tiffany’s. Lilly was in Germany for a festival so I didn’t have to worry about her, and Ryan hadn’t called since last week.

The next two days I cleaned the penthouse from head to toe, making sure every tile and every bench top was sparkling clean, all out of pure boredom of course.

NME called the next day, Mark was on the phone.

I had spent the last week bracing myself to lose my job, that I was shocked when the ever reliable “You’re fired” didn’t come from his mouth.

“Listen Liz” he sighed “You’re on your last chance, we’ve got a job for you, fuck it up and you’re out.” He said looking at me seriously.

I almost cried from joy, I wasn’t gone, I still had my dream job, I wasn’t going to be cleaning out my desk tomorrow.

I smiled sitting down on the couch, the world now looking like a much brighter, happier place.

“Okay okay, I’ll do anything, I promise just hurry up and tell me” I squealed almost jumping out of my skin.