Things Have Changed

Generally, I like airports. I like strolling around with my carry ons in hand; shopping in the duty free stores and of course, the evil glares everyone gives you when you walk into the international lounge while they sit in domestic. Yes, those sad things do put smiles on my sad face.

However, today the airport gates seemed more to me like the gates of hell.

“I hate airports” I pouted getting out of the car, officially deciding that airports were the worst places in the world.

“I actually don’t mind them” Ella said airily.

“Airports are okay, but planes are the worst” Brendon stated “You can’t move on them, it’s like dude! I need to go for a run!”

“You don’t run” I stated.

“Of course I do, how else do you think my endurance is so good.”

“Eww guys, no perverted talk, save that for the phone sex” Jon rolled his eyes.

We wondered aimlessly around the airport a permanent frown fixated on my lips. I knew I should be so selfish but I couldn’t help it. He was my Brendon and he should be staying with me. He was going to be gone for at least three months and as much as I had tried to convince him otherwise, he was going to Australia, New Zealand and wherever else he was going to go.
“You know, we could always just... well, there are the toilets over there.” Brendon whispered shyly.

“Brendon!” I gasped “I may have slept with you in a bus bunk but I will not fuck you in a public toilet.”

“Hey,” Brendon smiled “I’m just trying to compromise here.”

“You could always compromise by staying here” I smiled pecking him lightly.

“But that wouldn’t be much of a compromise now would it?” he smiled into my kiss.

I sat curled up on the airport seats with Brendon’s arm wrapped warmly around me. Crap, I was going to miss him. I was beginning to feel it already; it was as if my body was bracing me for the loneliness that I would be feeling over the next few months.

Ella told me that it was normal, that feeling of unbearable coldness that I was feeling right now even though I was wrapped up in one of Brendon’s warm hoodies.
Brendon kissed my hair lightly “You could always come with us.” Brendon suggested quietly.
“Sorry, I’ve gotta try to get back into uni, Oxford, what do you think?”

“I think you should stop doing the ‘right’ thing or the ‘best’ thing and stop having such high standards of yourself and just do what makes you happy.”

“Well I’m dating you aren’t I?” I smiled tilting me head up to peck his cheek.

“I think that was the nicest backhanded compliment I’ve ever had.”

Eventually, the time that I had been dreading for the past two week came and the band’s and Ella’s flight number was called up.
The tears started to flow, not only for Brendon, but for everyone. I stumbled into Ella’s open arms, her mascara was streaming down her cheeks and she was crying so hard she could barely speak.

“You better fucking call me” she smiled through her tear.

“You know I will” I told her.

“And don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on Brendon for you.”

I smiled hugging her tightly “Thanks, and don’t forget to take way to many photos and send them to me so I feel even more depressed than I already do.”

She laughed tearfully and pulled away and Spencer came up to me, giving me a warm hug and whispering humorous words in my ear.

“Jon!” I smiled when he approached me.

“Liz, how is my favourite English American who is currently dating Brendon.”

“Aww, I love you Jon, you’re my favourite member.” I smiled hugging him.

“Hey!” Brendon and Spencer cried loudly.

“Don’t worry guys, you’re all my favourite” I smiled

Jon grinned “Don’t worry Liz, I know the truth.” I winked mischievously at him. I would miss Jon; he was way too much fun.

I glanced around to see Ryan staring in our direction until he noticed me and flashed his boarding pass at the air hostess and boarded the plane. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt me in the slightest.

Everyone left me and Brendon alone to say our goodbyes. Immediately I wrapped my arms tightly around his body and recommenced with my crying. He tried to calm me by stroking my hair, kissing my forehead and whispering sweet nothing in my ears but it was all in vain.
“I’m sorry for be, being a bitch all tour” I sobbed.

“Shh Liz, it doesn’t matter, everything’s fine now.”

“Do you promise to call me every day?” I asked pleadingly.

“He smiled warmly at me, yes Liz, everyday.”

“A-and you won’t forget?”

“No” he sighed, “I won’t”

“Brendon, I-I’m going to miss you so fucking much.”

Brendon laughed lightly “I’m sure I’ll miss you more.”

“No you won’t, every day there will be thousands of prett-

“None as pretty as you.”

Fuck, he just knows how to make me melt

I smiled and let him kiss me again “I love you Brendon.”

He smiled into the kiss “I love you too, I better hurry up” Brendon sighed as he pulled away.

I whined “One more kiss please.”

He smiled giving in and kissing me passionately once more “have fun” I whispered as we pulled away.

Brendon waved once more at me just before he walked into the boarding gates flashing his amazing smile at me for the last time in three months. I tried to smile back but the tears got the better of me, causing me to tear up and choke on my own breath.

Once he was out of sight I curled up on the chair that he had been sitting on and pulled his hoodie even tighter around me, breathing in his scent.

These were the moments when just wanted someone to comfort you. However, I was still not talking to my parents and Lilly was in Belgium so I was left alone, with my thoughts which are never a good thing.

One of the flight’s men showed me the plane that everyone was on. I stood by the window, tears streaming down my cheeks and my breathing unsteady. I watched as the plane navigated its way perfectly around the runway. It began to pick up pace and before long was in the air and out of sight with Brendon in it.

This is just another chapter of the story, another photo for the albums, another memory for the collections. I was already counting down the days until Brendon came back and planning on filling in the months with way too much studying, thinking and trying to figure out what to do with my life. Brendon had already figured out his and I couldn’t be any more supportive of him. He was doing what he loved and that was the main thing, even if it did make me feel a little lonely. But that’s what life’s like, and if everything went perfectly to plan and exactly the way I wanted it to go then life would be a pretty boring journey, wouldn’t it?