Your Hands In Mine

“Riley.”

Riley, wake up!”

Come on, Riley please wake up!”

“Whoa! What? Why… the hell did you wake me up at… 3 o’clock for Pete’s sake?!” I asked my brother while rubbing my eyes furiously.

“I’m sorry about that but-,” he replied before I cut him off.

“And why are your dressed?”

“Geez Riley can you just let me talk!” he said loud enough for me to shut up but low enough to not wake our parents up.

“Listen Riley do you remember when I told you about me and the guys about going to L.A. to find a manager that could help us set up a gig?”

I nodded; we were all at the beach that day. The guys and him where sat down in a circle beers in hand talking about how they could find someone up in L.A. to help them. I had been sitting on Jimmy’s lap hearing their discussion.

“Well… we, the guys and I, decided to go to L.A.,” he said after sitting down on the bed next to me.

“Great! But you guys can’t find someone in 1 day,” I said enthusiastic and confused at the same time.

Something was wrong and I could tell by the way he kept staring at the wall the whole time.

“We’re not going for a day… we’re kinda moving there.”

It took a few seconds for me to register what my brother had just said, and when I did I was not happy.

“What the hell do you mean ‘you’re moving there’!? And when did you decide this? Couldn't’t you guys tell me?” I demanded.

I was furious at the fact that he didn't’t tell that they were moving! Wait, he said they’re moving. Why didn't’t he say we’re moving?

“About 2 weeks ago, I’m sorry, really really sorry Riley but I didn't’t tell you because you would want to come and I just can’t take you with me Ri.”

“Of course I would want to go with you guys, you are my family and I know there’s mum and dad but you know how they are right now, they’re not even sleeping in the same room anymore.”

“I know but you still can’t you’re not even 18 and what about school? You just can’t drop out. Don’t make things harder than they really are!”

“The hell I won’t! I don’t care about school and all the other stuff. I just want to go with you guys!”

I immediately got up from my bed and went to my window which looked the front yard. The guys were as I presumed in our front yard. They all looked bored; Jimmy and Zack were lying down on the grass watching the sky. Johnny was listening to his iPod while Brian was sitting on the hood of my brother’s car smoking.

“Riley you are not going to come, and that’s final!” My brother said frustrated which I didn't’t blame him since I had a tendency to frustrate people. A lot.

I ignored him and grabbed my black hoody from the chair and pulled it on. I quickly slipped on my flip-flops and went downstairs. As quiet as I could I opened the front door and made my way to my friends.

“Did you seriously think I would just let you go to L.A. without me?” I said loud enough for them to all look in my direction.

By now Jimmy and Zack had gotten up from the ground and Johnny had turned off his iPod while Brian had finished his cigarette.

“Did you guys really think that I would let you guys go without me?”

“No not really,” Jimmy said as I lunched myself into his arms.

A grin spread over my face which was smashed against his face when he squeezed me.

“Let her breath Jim,” Zack stated while opening his arms for me to hug him too, which I gladly accepted.

“Please Zack convince Matt to take me with you. I can’t stay here without you guys!” I pleaded him.

“We all tried Riley. It’s not that he doesn't’t want you but it’s the fact that you’re still young and you’re still going to school. You can’t just give all that up to come with us! You understand, don’t you babe?” He asked me while wiping the tears that were falling from my eyes.

“But I don’t give a damn about school! You guys are my family!” I replied while looking at the other guys.

“I know sweetheart, but you can’t just give that up. Riley, look at me,” told me Zack and I did what he told me.

“Listen to me you have to promise me that you will do great in school and that you will have fun here without us, go clubbing and stuff but don’t go get in trouble, OK?”

I nodded not trusting my voice anymore. I hugged him one last time and kissed his cheek before I let him go. Johnny was behind me when I turned around.

“I’m going to miss you so much Riley bear!” Johnny told me in my ear when he pulled me into his arms.

“I’m going to miss you more Johnny bear!” I replied making him chuckle.

“Be good and stay out of trouble,” he told me when he kissed my forehead.

I cried some more in his shirt and let go but not before I gave him a kiss on the cheek.
I went in front of Jimmy again and hugged him again and told him,” Take care of my brother will you, please, for me?” I asked him.

“Of course sweetheart I’ll make sure that he gets dressed every day, heck I’ll even pick out his clothes, and I’ll make sure that he eats his vegetables.” I laughed at his responses.

“Hey! I heard that!” Matt yelled at Jimmy, which made me laugh even harder.

I was going to miss them, my men.

“But seriously of course I’ll take care of him. You just have to promise me that you’ll take care of yourself and be good,” asked me Jimmy in a serious tone this time.

“Aren't’t I always,” I replied with a smirk on my face.

“Yeah..Right,” Jimmy replied sarcasm dripping from his words.

“Hey!” I said as I hit his head playfully when he smirked back.

I smiled as I made my way to my brother’s car, where Brian stood, who had been watching me. At first I didn't’t know what to do; I mean we never actually got along. It seemed like every time we started talking we would end up arguing. Sometimes it’s about the smallest things and to tell you the truth I don’t know why we fight so much. I mean I get along great with the other guys but when it comes to him; it’s like if I say something is white he’s going to say it’s black. I guess we don’t have that much things in common even though the guys say that Brian and I would end up together some day, which I can’t even imagine.

Nonetheless, I went in front of him and pulled him into a hug. Brian was shocked by my action and to tell you the truth so was I. I saw Jimmy mouthing me; “Told you.” To which I just rolled my eyes. Nevertheless Brian hugged me back and despite the awkwardness it felt kind of nice to be in his arms. Oh who am I kidding? I felt fantastic and so cozy to be in his arms, he was so warm! Me in his arms made me feel so… I don’t know it’s quite a pleasant feeling.

“I’m going to miss our daily fights,” I told him making him chuckle.

“Me too,” he said his hot breath on my neck which made my heart melt.

I kissed his cheek and unfortunately let go. I sighed as I saw the guys get in the car. Brian had called shotgun and was now sitting in the front, while the others got in the back. Sorrow filled my heart as I watched them go.

“I’m sorry Riley, I really am.”

Honesty, guilt and sadness filled my brother's word to which I sighed again as tears threatened to fall once again.

“I know,” I whispered as a single tear made its way down my cheek.

I still couldn't’t believe it that my brother and I were going to be separated. I actually hoped that he would always stay by my side, but I had to face reality and now he has to go. I don’t blame him for wanting to leave to pursue his career not even a bit, but I still feel depressed at the fact that now I would be alone. Sure I still had my parents and some friends from school but I got so used to have the guys around me that I can’t even imagine what these first weeks are going to be like without them.

When I didn't’t move or say anything else, Matt released a heavy sigh which almost broke my heart and began his way to the car. I didn't’t move not because I wanted to be stubborn but I just wasn't’t prepared to say goodbye and I don’t think I would ever be. I know that I would go see him but still I lived with him all my life and I just…

“Matt! Wait!” I said as I jogged over to him.

“I’m not going to say goodbye.” I stated which confused him a bit.

“But I will say this; you better freakin' call me soon AND… I love you Mattie!!!!!” I yelled and hugged the life out of him not that he complained or anything, in fact he squeezed me more but not before rolling his eyes at my randomness.

“I fucking love you too Riley, and don’t worry I will,” he told me as he wiped the tears that were now running down my face.

“I’ll see you soon big brother,” I grinned and kissed his cheek while he kissed my forehead.

We let go of each other and smiled before he got into the car. I backed away from the car and laughed at the funny facing Jimmy was doing.

“Hey Brian turn on the radio,” said Johnny.

“No man I have a huge headache and I don’t want to hear you sing to really annoying songs again!” Retorted Zack.

“Yeah Midget we already heard you once and we certainly don’t wanna hear you again!” Jimmy stated, while Zack nodded in agreement.

“Oh come on! Matt, back me up on this man!”

“Everyone just shut your pie holes and let me drive in peace!” Matt shouted which made everyone of them to stay quite.

Well that is until Jimmy yelled; “I’ll call you!” which just ended up in making everyone say something about Jimmy and his girlish voice to which Jimmy had to defend himself.

“You’d better!” I yelled back, smiling at their childish behavior .

I waved at the others as I watched them slowly driving away. With my hand on my chest where my heart is and the other waving at the guys, I felt as if part of my heart was leaving with them as well.