Dear Gravity You've Held Me Down

It was a grey early morning, and I sat at the kitchen table, a warm cup of tea in front of me; a pounding headache echoing through my skull, reminding me that last night did in fact happen.

“So how was your Thanksgiving?” Jenn asked sitting down beside me, her own cup of tea between her hands.

I rolled my head towards her, a dull glare set upon my face, “Horrid, absolutely horrid,” I mumbled.

“What happened?” She asked softly, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

“My parents loath Pete, they’re rather livid at me; for both dating him and failing out of school. And to top it all off, my brilliant idea of getting back at them, was loud messy sex in the washroom. It was horrid,” I muttered darkly. “What really makes it worse is that, that was the first time we had sex sober, and it was terrible,” I confessed.

Jenn blinked for a moment before nodding her head, “You’re right, that is horrible.”

I nodded weakly before turning my attention to my chamomile tea, “How was your dinner, with Patrick’s family?” I asked pulling the cup to my lips.

“Compared to yours uneventful, but I wouldn’t call it enjoyable either,” She shrugged.

“What happened?” I asked curiously.

“Patrick’s father is still a douche bag and Patrick spent the whole meal making googly eyes at Cora…” She trailed off.

“Cora?” I snorted, feeling the beginnings of a smile upon my lips.

“His childhood neighbour, he won’t admit it but he’s totally lusting after her.” She nodded.

“And her name is Cora?” I smirked. Jenn stared at me blankly as she nodded, “Like a cow…?” I trailed off.

Her mouth fell open wide as she realised what I was getting at, “Oh my gosh!” She laughed, “She’s really nice… and has no cow like attributes, but oh my gosh! Why didn’t I think of that?” She laughed loudly.

“Because you’re not as awesome as I am,” I shrugged. “So what happened after dinner?” I asked, recalling the site that greeted me at 4 in the morning.

“Nothing,” She shrugged.

“So Brendon and you cuddling on the couch is nothing? Good to know,” I smiled a devious smile.

“You saw that?” She asked.

“Yup,” I nodded.

“He called me last night, apologised and came over to watch Charlie Brown,” She shrugged.

“You watched Thanksgivings specials in Halloween costumes?” I raised my eye brow perplexed.

“It’s what all the cool kids are doing now a-days,” She shrugged nonchalantly.

“Ah that makes perfect sense,” I laughed. “He was avoiding his parents too wasn’t he?” I asked after a moment’s pause.

“How’d you figure that out?” She asked surprised by my guess.

“It’s Thanksgivings, it was an easy guess. Besides I have this theory,” I started, “That dinners with parental figures on Thanksgivings should be outlawed. Nothing good ever comes from them anyways.”

She gave me a tired smile as she nodded her head, “Can’t argue that logic,” She brought her cup to her lips, blowing softly to cool it down before taking a sip.

“Did you know my dad thinks Patrick’s fat?” I questioned several moments later.

“Doesn’t your father also think Kate Moss is fat?” Jenn quipped back.

“Touche,”

* * * *

I heard Christmas carols before anything else registered, they were playing at an absurd volume; and someone was singing along to them. Make that plural. Next I felt cold fingers dancing up my warm stomach, in attempts to tickle me. It wasn’t working; I wasn’t awake enough to know what was going on. Then I smelt the familiar pungent smell that clung to the air around him like a force field; and I opened my eyes. Pete was smiling down at me, wearing a red Santa hat.

“Merry Christmas!” He cheered happily before leaning down to press his face to my stomach.

I groaned lamely in response, “What time is it?”

“5:30,” He chirped.

“What the hell Pete? It’s too early,” I muttered. “How’d you even get in?”

“Jenn let me in. Unlike you, she is actually enjoying the season, and was awake at 5!” He stated proudly.

“Fuck life…” I grumbled before rolling over and onto my front, burying my face into my pillows.

“Awe cheer up buttercup, I brought you some happy grass,” He purred into my ears.

“I don’t want any,” I mumbled into my pillow.

“Come on, it’ll brighten your day,” He persisted, lounging on top of me.

“No, gerroff,” I whined.

“Babe, I brought it especially for you,” He said, his voice holding the hit of hurt emotions.

“Well that was stupid… or is this your way of telling me you didn’t get me a real Christmas present?” I mumbled darkly raising up and twisting around to look at him.

He looked guilty for a moment, but then regained his cool, “You love getting high with me though!”

“Not today, just go,” I huffed before falling back into my bed.

“Why are you so moody today? Is it your time of the month?” He questioned softly.

“No it isn’t my time of the month,” I snarled. Somehow managing to flip myself around and stare up at him.

“Then what’s wrong?” He asked sadly.

“Oh I don’t know. My idiot boyfriend decided to wake me up at 5:30 in the morning maybe?” I questioned dryly.

He flinched, “I thought it’d be sweet,” He mumbled.

“Just like the sweet grass you brought me, thanks,” I rolled my eyes.

A determined look fell upon his face, “This is about the lack of a Christmas present isn’t it? Well don’t worry, tomorrow we can go out and I’ll buy you anything and everything you want,” He grinned proudly.

“This isn’t about presents,” I stated. “I don’t give a damn about a stupid Christmas present, because honestly I didn’t get you anything either,” I huffed sitting up.

He crawled back and looked at me with wide eyes, “You didn’t?”

“No, I have no money,” I rolled my eyes.

After a beat he grinned and leant in, his breath hitting my face, I crinkled my nose at the gross smell. “Well that’s alright, I know something I’d love for Christmas that’s completely free,” His voice, I believe, was supposed to sound husky and alluring; in reality though it was as alluring as a root canal.

He lent down to press his lips to mine and I reached up and shoved him as hard as I could, “What was that for?” He asked, surprised.

“I’m not some sex robot you know, you have to actually earn it,” I yelled.

“What the hell…” He looked confused and lost.

He reached out for me, and I just slapped his hand away, “No, get out.”

“Megz…” He trailed off reaching out for me again.

“No,” I pulled away from him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked his voice soft with concern.

“Just, get out,” I stated turning away from him.

“Not till you tell me what’s wrong?” He stated firmly.

His fingers grazed my bare shoulder, and I flinched, “Don’t touch me!” I snapped.

Soon he was trying to get me to look at him and tell him what was wrong, and I was hitting him, trying to get him to go. “You’re not pregnant are you?” The disgust in his voice made me terribly happy that that was the farthest thing from the truth.

“Just get the fuck out Pete!” I screamed shoving him hard enough that he fell to the floor.

He looked up at me, shock written upon his features, “Fine, merry Christmas to you too!” He yelled getting up and storming out of my room. With a deep groan I flopped back down onto my bed, and pulled the covers up around my head.

The Christmas carols had stopped, and I closed my eyes upset that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again. Stupid Pete fucking Wentz.

A soft knock rapped on my bedroom door, and it opened shortly after. “Megz, I brought you some chamomile tea, Jenn ran after Pete ready to kick his ass…” Brendon’s soft voice filled the room.

I sat up on my knees and looked at him with big sad eyes, “She really shouldn’t, I was the one being a bitch,” I mumbled, taking the tea from him as he sat down beside me.

“Yeah well she did tell him to wait an hour before waking you up…” Brendon forced out a chuckle.

“I wish that was all that was wrong…” I trailed off.

“What is wrong sweetie?” Brendon asked wrapping his arm around my shoulder, and pulling me close.

“I don’t know… life?” I suggested.

“What could possibly be wrong with life? It’s Christmas, you have a best friend who’s out kicking butt and taking numbers just for you; and here I am your loyal servant,” He made a grand gesture at himself, causing me to laugh. “There we go, we’re getting a positive response,” He beamed.

“Thank you Brendon,” I smiled at him. “Can you put this in the microwave? I think I’m going to go have a shower,” I asked handing him the cup.

“Oh thank God, I was afraid you’d mope all day and we’d have to endure the stink,” He teased standing up and making his way to the door.

I stood up too, “Brendon,” I called. He turned to look at me and I walked over to him, “I really am thankful for you,” I whispered as I pulled him into a tight hug.

“No worries little girl, sometimes we just need someone to look after us,” He shrugged before placing a kiss on top of my head.

“Hey, I’m older than you,” I pouted as I pulled away.

He just winked before walking out of my room.

* * * *

When I walked out into the living room with my reheated tea in hands Jenn and Brendon pulled away from their conversation of whispers and turned to look at me curiously. “Are you alright?” She asked attentively.

“I’m a bit better now,” I nodded sitting down beside her, pulling the hot liquid to my lips. “I heard you ran after him,”

“Yeah, I bitched him out for you,” She nodded. “And he wanted me to remind you of the Christmas party at Angels & Kings tonight,” She added as a second thought.

“Fuck that,” I snorted. “To hell with clubs, and drinking excessively and to fucking Pete Wentz,” I declared proudly before drowning my tea in one go. “Oh that’s hot,” I mumbled afterwards.

Brendon and Jenn both looked at me laughing, a familiar and fond smile adorn on Jenn’s lips. I smiled widely, like I had just caught up with a long lost friend. Which I suppose could be true for us; in a depressing way of looking at things.

“So what are we going to do instead then?” Jenn asked slowly.

“Let’s invite Patrick and whoever else wants to not attend Pete’s party and have a proper Christmas party,” I nodded my head.

“I’ll go call Ryan!” Brendon stated and ran to a quiet room, as he pulled his sidekick out of nowhere.

“I’ll call Patrick, but I think that’s it,” Jenn sighed, “You know our friends…” She trailed off.

“Yeah, crazy and rambunctious, the club can handle them,” I nodded. I stood up and made my way to the kitchen and started making myself another cup of tea.

“Hey, can Ryan bring Jac?” Brendon asked walking into the kitchen to look at me.

“I don’t see why not,” I shrugged.

“Okay good,” He nodded.

“Hey Brendon…”

“Yeah?” He turned back to look at me.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” I asked softly.

“She doesn’t ‘do’ white Christmases and won’t come back till New Years Eve,” He rolled his eyes dramatically, “So I asked Jenn if I could celebrate the holidays with you girlies,” He grinned.

“I’m glad you are,” I laughed before walking back into the living room.

Jenn pulled her phone away from her mouth and looked at me “Patrick wants to bring Cora… but he’s unsure what with Brendon being here…” She mumbled.

“Tell him to go for it, that way Brendon will get the right message,” I winked playfully at her. She rolled her eyes at me before complying.

Everyone came over around 4pm, we ordered in Chinese food – like the cool Chicago residents we were – and then settled down listening to Christmas carols and being merry. Brendon and Jenn rushed off to get the door together, and Patrick leaned over to me, “What’s he doing here?” He asked darkly.

“He had nowhere else to spend the holidays Patrick, so be nice. Besides they’re friends again,” I stated pointedly. He shrugged before turning to Carol who all in all seemed like a lovely girl. Well traveled and learned. Everything Patrick could ever ask for all rolled up in a pretty package. I was very happy for him.

Jac and Ryan were both in their pyjamas, just like I was and Santa hats upon their heads. They were leaning over each other, lopsided grins on each of their faces, caught up in each other no doubt. Jenn and Brendon returned and distributed the food, before sitting down and sharing their food. It was then that I realised I was the 7th wheel but I didn’t mind not really, as of lately I’d rather be alone then surrounded by Pete at all times. But I couldn’t help the thoughts of someone else slipping in; then again I tried not to dwell on that.

It was while we were opening presents that Patrick’s phone began to ring, he pulled it out and looked down at his caller ID, his brow furrowed in confusion before he flipped it open and pressed it to his ear, “Hey man, what are you doing?” He asked. “What do you mean what am I doing? I’m at Megz and Jenn’s for Christmas dinner… Of course I found it odd that you’re not here, I thought you’d make it over here eventually.” He turned to look at me puzzled, and I frowned. “Why can’t you call her yourself and tell her that?” He asked dumbly.

Leaning over I plucked the phone from him and held it up to my mouth, “Go away!” I shouted before flipping it closed.

Everyone besides Jenn and Brendon looked at me strangely. “What was that about?” Jac asked her eyes wide with awe.

“Pete’s a douche, that’s all,” I shrugged before turning to Brendon. “Is there anything for me under the tree Santa?” I asked a bright smile on my lips.

“As a matter of fact, there is something here for you,” He said in a low deep voice playing along. “Ho ho ho,” He added as he handed it to me.

“To Megz from Jenn,” I read the tag sending her a quick smile before I opened the present. “Oh Jenn,” I gasped as I pulled out the small necklace with a camera pendant on it. “It’s beautiful!” I gushed.

“I’m glad you like it,” She grinned.

“I love it, I’m going to go put it on!” I stated rushing to my feet and to my bedroom.

I sat at my vanity trying to open the packaging when I heard a heartbreaking snap, I looked at the necklace, the chain was ripped in half, and I felt my throat tighten. “No, no please no!” I wailed trying to get the chain to loop back together.

“Is everything alright?” Jenn called, her voice moving towards me.

“Oh my God, I’m a horrible person!” I cried before diving onto my bed.

“Megz are you okay?” She asked rushing into my room.

“I broke the chain!” I sniffled burying my head back into my pillows. “It was perfect and I thought the tape would give out easily, but it didn’t and it broke the chain! I can’t believe my luck,” I mumbled.

I felt the bed sink under her weight, and her hand reached over to rub my back sympathetically. “Don’t worry, we can fix it,” She assured me.

“No we can’t, I already tried…” I muttered.

“Well then here, sit up and I’ll be right back,” Jenn said soothingly before getting up. I sat up confused, drying my eyes with the sleeve of my sweater. She came back and sat down, taking the necklace from me gently and revealed the object in her hand. It was a necklace she had bought forever ago, and seldom wore now. She took off the pendant and then placed the camera onto the chain. “There we go, all better now,” She smiled.

“But what about your necklace?” I asked.

“I can add this onto my charm bracelet, don’t worry about it,” She shrugged it off.

Gingerly I took the necklace from her and clasped it around my neck, “Thank you,” I mumbled.

“You’re more than welcome,” She smiled pulling me into a tight hug.

“I feel stupid for crying now,” I admitted.

“Don’t, you’re allowed to cry, it’s only human,” She assured me. I only nodded, and realised that I missed moments like this, our sisterly moments. And with that thought more tears welled up. Stupid Pete fucking Wentz.