Dear Gravity You've Held Me Down

I open my eyes to see a beam of light entering through my dark window curtains. I take a deep breath thinking about last night's conversation with Brendon, it had left me emotionally drained. I breathe out slowly.

“Couldn't sleep?” Patrick asks as he yawns.

I turn to my side and turn to look at Patrick just as he rubs his eyes.

“Something like that.” I mumble

“Well I slept like a baby.” He says and takes his glasses from the nightstand.

“You sure don't snore like one,” I let out a small laugh.

“Very funny.”

I smile as he gets out of bed.

“I'm going to get breakfast started,” he says walking towards my room door.

“You're going to cook?”

“I've cooked many times before.”

“Yeah but not spontaneously like this.”

“Consider yourself lucky,” he tells me and walks out of my room.

I take my phone from my nightstand and for the first time in days I didn't have a single missed call, and it felt weird.

A couple of minutes later the smell of fresh pancakes entered my room causing my stomach to growl. I get out of bed putting on my glasses in the process and head to the kitchen where Patrick is cooking.

“I can't wait to try those pancakes.” I tell him with a smile as I sit.

“Me either.” I hear Megz say behind me.

“Did he sleeping in your room?” Megz asks me as she starts getting her clothes ready, she was going to see a counselor.

“Yeah, he was too tired to drive home.”

Patrick had left a couple of hours ago to do some band stuff.

She looks at me with a questioning look, “are you two... you know...” she trails off

“Are we what?”

“If you guys were dating you would tell me, right?”

“Yeah of course, but we are not dating. How many times do I have to say that we are just friends, nothing is going on between us.”

“Maybe for you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“No, tell me.”

She shrugs, “he used to like you in high school, you know”

“He did not, he would have said something.”

Meghan shrugs again as she settles on an outfit. Blue skinny jeans with an ivory blouse and cardigan.

“He doesn't like me.” I say firmly.

He couldn't.

“Maybe I'm just making something out of nothing.” She says finally.

“I'll let you finish getting ready, I'll see you later.”

Megz nods. I walk out of her room and close her door. All I could think about was what Meghan had said. But there was no way Patrick liked me in that way.

As soon as I walk into my room my phone begins to ring, for a brief moment I thought it was Brendon calling me, I look at the caller ID and see Patrick's name.

“Hey, what's up?” I answer

“What are you doing at this moment?”

“Umm, talking to you?”

“Anything else?”

“Nope.”

“Perfect.”

“Why?” I ask curiously.

“I wanted to see if you could come over and help me with some outfits.”

“I will be there in twenty.” I exclaim happily.

“I will see you then. Bye.”

I grab my purse from my desk and head out making sure to say goodbye to Megz.

“Patrick?”

“I'm in my room.” He calls out.

“Wow,” I mumble as I see all the clothes on top of his bed.

“I know, that's why I called you.”

“Yeah I can see,” I say with a small laugh.

I walk up to his bed and start going through his clothes. Moment later I start to hum as I start putting everything I liked in one pile and anything I didn't on the floor.

A couple of minutes later I look up and see Patrick looking at me, he makes a small coughing sound and turns away.

I look at him curiously, I could see red creeping up his neck.

“Do I have something on my face?” I ask him

“What?”

“You were looking at me, do I have something on my face?”

He looks back at me and shakes his head. “I was just admiring you.” He says and then shakes his head again. “admiring the way you were working, that's what I meant.”

“Thanks,” I say and change my attention to his clothes, but all I could think about what the conversation I had earlier with Megz.

“I heard you went on a date with Cora,” I say, hoping this conversation would prove Megz wrong.
Patrick nods without saying anything.

“How did it go?” I ask curiously.

“It went.”

“Really? That's all you have to say about it?”

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to give you every detail?” He asks sounding a bit irritated.

“I'm just trying to make conversation.”

“And I'm done with this conversation.”

I look at him wide eyed, this was so unlike Patrick.

“Did something bad happen?”

“I told you I was done with the conversation.”

“But I'm not. Obviously something happened and that's why you don't want to talk about it.”

“It's my business and I don't want to talk about it so just drop it Jenn.”

“Are you being serious right now? I'm one of your best friends, you can tell me anything.”

“No I can't.” He snaps catching me off guard.

“I think I should go,” I mumble feeling very weird about the whole situation.

“Jenn-”

“I think you'd rather be alone, so I'm just gonna head out and catch up with you later.”

I walk out of his room and out of his place. I didn't understand why he couldn't confide in me, we've been friends for ten years. I didn't understand why he reacted like that, did something happen with Cora? Or was it about something else?

I get into my car and drive home in silence. What had just happened?

I walk into my empty apartment and sit on the couch trying to grasp everything that had happened today.

A couple of minutes later there's a knock on the door.

“What are you doing here?” I ask surprised to see Patrick on the other side of the door.

“I'm sorry about how I acted, I don't know what came over me.”

“You could have just called me or texted me.”

“I know but I wanted to tell you face to face.”

“So what's bothering you?” I ask him as he walks towards the living room.

I close the front door and follow him.

“Nothing.”

“Really? I feel like there's something that is bothering you.”

“All that's bothering me right now is you and your questions.”

“Are you kidding me? Why did you even bother coming over.”

Patrick sighs, “can we just forget about this.”

“No. I'm your friend but you can't even tell me what's going on in your life, I want to help.”

“There's nothing that you can do.”

“How do you know.”

“You know what, you're right I shouldn't have bothered to come.”

“I don't understand, what happened between this morning and this afternoon?”

“Nothing. I already told you.”

“Does it have to do with Cora? Every time I bring her up you just close down.”

“This had nothing to do with her!” He says raising his voice.

“I think it does, you wouldn't be acting like this if it wasn't”

“Are you really so clueless?”

“About what!?” Now I was raising my own voice

“This doesn't have to do with Cora, it has everything to do with you!”

“Me? What did I do?”

“Just forget about it.” He says heading towards the front door.

“No,” I grab his arm to stop him from walking out.

“Why does it have to do with me?” I ask him looking straight into his eyes.

“Jenn-”

“Tell me Patrick, what am I so clueless about!?”

And before I have any time to react his lips collide with mine and kisses me with such intensity I didn't know was possible.

“I love you.” He tells me as his lips part mine.

I didn't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that.

“But it doesn't matter, it never has.”

“Patrick,” I whisper not knowing what to say.

He shakes his head, “you don't have to say anything.”

“Patrick-”

“It's okay Jenn. I'll catch up with you later.” He says echoing what I had said earlier.

He walks out and shuts the door with force causing me to jump a bit.

I stare at the door unable to move. Had that really just happened. Had Patrick just confessed his love for me and I couldn't even manage a sentence for him.

The door knob begins to turn and my hear begins to race expecting Patrick to walk back in but it's not him.

“What's up with Patrick? I just ran into him downstairs, he looked off...” Megz trails off as she takes a look at me.

“What happened?”

“Uh, nothing he just has to take care of somethings, you know how he gets when he's stressed.” I ramble.

“Yeah.” Megz says with a nod.

“I'm kind of tired so I'm going to go lay down,” I say and walk to my room, glad that I could move again.

I lie down on my bed and stare at my ceiling unable to make the tingly feeling from my lips to go
away.