Dear Gravity You've Held Me Down

The four last weeks have been hell. All I could think about was Patrick telling me that he loved me. I felt like an idiot for not being able to say anything to him. But there was really nothing I could say. He knew how messed up I was, especially after the whole Brendon thing, I mean what was he expecting from me? Did he think I was just going to forget about everything that had happened and tell him that I loved him too?

I sigh and look at the clock it was almost closing time, I debated closing Clandestine early but Pete always complained when I did that so I decided against it, which was good because just then somebody walked through the front door.

“Hi, can I help you with anything?” I ask from behind my counter.

“Is Pete here? I had an interview with him.” The brunette asks as she smiles.

“Interview?” I question, Pete hadn't mention an interview.

“Yeah, I guess he's looking for a full-time employee.”

“I'll try and get in contact with him, and what was your name?”

“It's Marieanne.”

“Just wait here, I'll be back” I tell her as I give her my best customer friendly smile.

I take out my cellphone and call Pete, it rings twice before somebody answers it.

“Hello?”

I freeze as I hear Patrick on the other line. I hadn't really talked to him these past four weeks.

“Where's Pete?” I ask slowly.

The other line becomes silent.

“He's busy,” Patrick says a couple of minutes later.

“Can you tell him that I really need to talk to him, please.”

“Hold on.”

I look back at Marianne and give her a smile, she smiles back patiently.

“Are you going to lecture me too?” Pete asks angrily.

“Um, I don't know what you're talking about but you have somebody named Marianne waiting to be interviewed at Clandestine.”

“Fuck, totally forgot about that.”

“Yeah I can tell, what do you want me to do?”

“Just take her information and tell her that I will have to reschedule.”

“As you please boss.” I hang up and walk back behind the counter.

“I just got off the phone with Pete, unfortunately and emergency came up and he will have to reschedule.”

“Oh, not problem.”

I take out a notepad from underneath the counter and hand it to her with a pen, “just go ahead and write your information with the days and times you are available and he'll give you a call.”

She does as I tell her and says goodbye after she's done.

I look at my watch and decide closing ten minutes early wouldn't hurt.

Thirty minutes later I walk to my car and sit in silence. Hearing Patrick on the phone made me miss him. I missed talking to him and spending time with him, I can't remember a time when we went weeks without having contact with one another, he was one of my best friends and I didn't want to lose him.

I take out my phone from my purse and dial his number, I take in a deep breath and exhale before pressing talk.

It rang four times, maybe he didn't want to talk to me.

“Hey,” he says quietly.

“Hey,” I echo him.

“Are you okay?” He asks sounding a bit concerned.

“I miss you,” I whisper feeling a knot in my chest.

“I miss you too.”

“I know things are a bit complicated but you're still my friend and I don't want to lose you.”

“You haven't, trust me.”

“I wish I could say something to make things better but I have no words Patrick.”

“You don't need to say anything.”

“So what did Pete do?” I ask trying to start a different conversation.

“Lets just say he serenaded Meghan in a very unromantic way.”

He's comment on the phone made so much sense now.

“Oh god, is she okay?”

“Yeah, we took care it.”

“We?”

“Andy and William.”

“I should probably head home and see how she's doing.” I pause before adding “you can stop by if you want to.”

“Maybe another time.”

“I'll talk to you later then.”

“Bye.”

I sigh feeling happy about making the phone call.

I drive home and decide to stop for some Chinese takeout, I didn't feel like making dinner tonight. An hour later I make it home. I walk into the apartment and the smell of fresh tea greets me.

“I'm home,” I call out.

“How was work?” Megz asks as she walks out of her room.

“Usual,” I say with a smile.

“That smells good, what did you bring?”

“Chinese takeout of course.”

“Yum.”

We make our way to the living room and decide to eat as we watch some TV.

“How are feeling?” I ask her a couple of minutes later

“About?”

“I heard about the whole Pete thing.”

“Oh, that.” She mumbles.

“It was terrifying Jenn, you should have seen him outside our door.”

“I'm sorry that happened, if only I had been here to kick him out of the building.”

“I called Patrick and told him about it.” She looks at me as she mentions Patrick's name.

“He's the one who told me.”

“You guys are talking again?”

“You noticed?”

“How could I not, you went from talking all the time to completely ignoring each other.”

“Well, we're talking again.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” I sigh. I really wanted to tell her but I didn't want to bother her with my problems, she had her own and I wanted her to focus on herself.

“How are things with William?” I ask trying to change to focus

“We're friends, so that's good.”

I nod happily.

“He asked me to dinner next week, for his birthday.” She says unable to hide a smile.

“What did you say?”

“I said I would.”

“I hope you two have fun and enjoy it.”

“Thanks.” She says just as my phone beeps.

I look at my phone and notice a text from Pete. Call me when you can. Was all that he wrote.

“I'm going to go do some homework,” I tell Megz as I take the dirty dishes to the kitchen.

I walk to my room and call him.

“Hey,” Pete says after the second ring

“So why did you need me to call you?”

“I need you to do me a favor.”

“If it has anything to do with Meghan, the answer is no.”

I hear him mumble something I can't quite make out.

“This is about work.”

“What is it?”

“I need you to manage it while I'm on tour.”

“No can't do.” I reply firmly.

“What do you mean no?”

“I'm going on tour with you guys.”

“Are you fucking serious? There is no way you're coming on tour with us.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Um maybe because Patrick confessed his love for you and you just decided to toss him away like nothing.”

“It's more complicated than that, and I didn't toss him away.”

“Oh really so why haven't you tried talking to him these few past weeks?”

“I talked to him today, for your information and this is none of your business.”

“Do you and Meghan get off on being cold hearted bitches.”

“Are you serious Pete?”

“Yeah you broke my best friend's heart and you don't even care that he loves you.”

“I do care! He's my best friend too and I never intended to hurt him like that.”

“Here's the deal Jenn, you either manage Clandestine or you're fired.”

I gasp.

“You know what Pete, Fuck you. I quit. I guess you'll have to manage your own fucking store now.” I say and hang up angrily.

What a fucking asshole.

Seconds later my phone begins to ring again.

“Fuck you.” I say angrily without bothering to look at the caller ID.

“I'm sorry?” I hear Patrick on the other line.

“Fuck, I'm sorry Patrick, I thought you were somebody else.”

“Are you okay? You sound really tense.”

“No I'm fucking pissed, I know Pete is your best friend but he's an asshole.”

“What happened?”

“I have to go I'm sorry. ” I tell him and hang up on him.

“Is everything okay?” I hear Meghan ask as she knocks on my door.

I open the door and wipe the angry tears that were starting to fall down my cheeks.

“Yeah, Pete is just being an asshole like usual, and now I don't have a job because I quit.”

“I'm sorry.”

I shake my head, “Don't this is all on him, he'll see tomorrow when he has to open the store.”

I sigh, what a nightmare today had become I just wanted to forget about it.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now, I should just focus on homework.”

Megz nods and walks back to her bedroom. I sigh once more and walk over to my desk. I open my laptop and stare at the screen, I didn't feel like doing homework, what I really wanted was to see Patrick.