In Another World

I stood on the balcony watching the red and orange evening sky intently as the sun began to set. Today had turned out to be different. It brought something new altogether. Everything was going to be completely different from now on, I could tell. My breathing accelerated to the next level as I began to remember the events that had taken place a few hours ago. A new life had been created today. My baby brother had been born.

September 16th 1992

A specific date in my opinion that needed to go down in history. I was a big brother now, even though at the current age of three I felt as if though I had many responsibilities to fulfill and I was determined to make everything right. I was not going to let anyone ruin this perfect moment for me and my family. I jumped at the touch of someone’s hand on my shoulder. Turning around I noticed it was my father holding my delicate and fragile new born baby brother in his arms.

“Joseph,” he breathed my name, “look who has come to say hi,” he smiled gesturing towards the baby that he held protectively, “Say hello to the newest addition to the family, Joseph.”

“Hello baby,” I grinned up at my father and my baby brother, “can I hold him Daddy?” I asked politely and sat down on the chair.

Dad placed my brother in my arms but never let go of him; I guess he was scared I might accidentally drop him as I wasn’t strong enough to cradle a baby on my own just yet. “What’s his name Daddy?” I questioned.

He made a thinking face and smiled widely, “I don’t know, you tell me,” he ordered and I began to lose myself in my thoughts.

“Nicholas?” I came up with a name.

“Alright then Joseph, Nicholas it is…”

Summer 2000

I sat patiently on the sofa watching Nicholas with full on concentration as he told me about the boy who had been mean to him at school, “And then! He said that I shouldn’t have my hair like this at all!” he screamed, “Can you believe it Joseph?! He objected to my hair! I love my hair though! Is it really that bad?” he questioned me.

I couldn’t help myself but grin, “Your hair is amazing the way it is Nicholas, you shouldn’t pay any attention to people like that boy. He’s probably just insecure,” I tried to convince him.

“Really?”

I smiled at my baby brother yet again, “Yeah and if he is ever mean to you again, stick up for yourself, don’t let his words get to you. Put him right,” I advised, “and if that doesn’t seem to work either, ignore him and just walk away…”

Nicholas grinned then, “Be the bigger person…” he whispered and hugged me tightly, “you are amazing big brother!” he squealed.

At the doctors a couple of years later

Nicholas could not stop crying, he had just received a bad news. I placed my arm around him, “Hush fro bro, everything is going to be alright, believe me.” I tired yet again to convince him but miserably failed.

He looked up at my face with red eyes, “How is everything going to be alright Joseph? I am diabetic nothing is going to be alright anymore…what did I do? Why is God punishing me?” he started to fire questions at me again.

I took a deep breath and began to reassure him once again, “You haven’t done anything wrong Nicky and God is not punishing you He is in fact testing you…to see how brave you can really be…to see if you will give up or not. To see if you have faith in Him. He loves you Nicky, He loves all of us, and this is just a test that you have to ace. And I and everybody else are going to be here with you and help you all the way…” I finished.

It seemed to work, calming Nicholas down a bit, I mean.

The night of the first concert

Nick began pacing around backstage impatiently, he was nervous, I could tell. We all were. This was our first concert as The Jonas Brothers and Nick was afraid that something was going to go wrong, but I kept on reassuring him just like always that he was worrying for no reason at all. “Nick calm down, will you?” Kevin, our older brother sighed, “Joe has told you many times not to worry about anything…so please just calm yourself down?”

Nick looked at me, the concern in his eyes disappearing slightly, “You guys think so?” he asked, “I mean what if they don’t like us? What if out of the blue, one of us gets stage fright? What if it is me? How can I not worry about all of these things?”

Kevin and I exchanged looks, “Dude, this is going to be the best night of our lives. Nothing is going to change that okay? Even if something does happen to go the wrong way, which let me say…it won’t…but if it does just in case…we’ll still have each other by our sides. We’ll be here for one another…and that is the most important thing right now.”

I sighed.

Kevin stood up.

Nick breathed, “Okay,” he said, “It’s show time!”

Present Day

My lips began to quiver as the cold air that came in through the wide open window hit my face. Looking down upon my hands I let the teardrops from my eyes fall. What happened a couple of hours ago…I blamed myself. It was my fault that we had landed in this fearful position in the first place. If only I could turn back the time, I wouldn’t have said the things I shouldn’t have. I wouldn’t have done the stupid things, I really shouldn’t have.

I had ruined…screwed up everything.

Nothing was going to be the same again. Ever.

I was a murderer.

I had blood on my hands that wouldn’t wash away, no matter how much I tried too.

Closing my eyes I got up from my seat and made my way to the hospital bed in front of me. The body was covered with white sheets, my hands shaking tremendously touched the tip of the sheet. I took the covers off and came face to face with the dead body of my baby brother Nick.