In Another World

Looking up at the morning sky, I let out a deep sigh. Normally, whenever I woke up in the morning I’d go to Nick’s bedroom and just sit there staring at my baby brother’s face whilst he slept. I couldn’t do that anymore. I couldn’t even think about entering his bedroom now. If it were up to me, I’d leave this town to never come back. So much of it screamed Nick’s name, it hurt.

To have lost your brother right before your very eyes; it kills, even if it had got to do with me. There was no point in life anymore; I had lost my lifeline, my very own special drug that kept me alive for so long. The only person who bothered to listen to what I had to say. The only person who took me seriously when others didn’t was now gone.

“I don’t know why you’re complaining Joe. You wanted this the most,” there Nick’s angelic, voice again.

I shook my head vigorously trying my very best to git rid of it, but like always, miserably failed. “I’m not going to be a nuisance to you anymore. I wont be able to get in your way. Isn’t that what you always wanted? Just to have all the attention to yourself?” his voice questioned.

I tried to ignore it.

“Answer me Joe. Did you ever think about me? Think about what I wanted?” the voice kept on questioning. “You can’t runaway from the truth Joe. You got what you desired. Congratulations.”

I let out a loud scream holding onto my hair and pulling it with full force, “Yes! You’re right Nick! I wanted you to leave!” I cried, “I wanted you to get out of my way! I wanted everything to go the way I wanted it too…but I never wanted this.” I whispered letting the tears fall. “I never wanted to lose my brother forever. Yes, I told you I hated you. Yes, I didn’t treat you right…the way I should have. But that didn’t mean that I actually didn’t love you…because the truth is. I adored you. I always have and I always will, Nick. I’m sorry.” I apologised, wiping the tears that had rolled down my cheeks with my wrist.

That dreadful silence again.

Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and looked around. Biting my lip I checked the time. Kodhai was due to arrive any moment soon. I sighed. I was going crazy every minute that ticked by. I couldn’t handle this weight, this enormous pressure on my shoulders. The very harsh fact of losing my brother forever and knowing that I would never be able to see that face of his again was killing me softly inside.

“Joe.” I turned around and noticed Katie standing before me, “she’s here…I’ll send her right up,” Katie said trying to smile but of course failed, “good luck.” She said squeezing my left hand tightly and making her way out of the door again.

I waited and waited for Kodhai to come in. It felt as if though an hour had quickly passed by just waiting for her. But in reality only ten minutes had passed. “Hello Joe.” My eyes shot open as soon as I heard her voice, “you wanted to see me?” she asked through gritted teeth that it sent pain shooting through my body.

Sighing, I got up from my seat and fixed my eyes upon her. The memories came flooding back all at once. The memories I had once shared with her.

I was sat on the sofa watching Saturday Night Live on my own when the doorbell rang. Moaning, I made my way to the door and opened it. There stood right before me was a young girl in her early teens, I had never seen her around before. She was beautiful. “Yes?” I asked smiling.

She smiled back, “Hi, I’m Kodhai,” she said sticking her hand out confidentially, “I’m here for Nick?” I took her hand into my own and squeezed it. It was soft and felt as if though it was very fragile.

I grinned, “Sure, come right in,” I beckoned her in and took her into the front room, “have a seat. I’ll go get Nick,” I smiled at her yet again and made my way up the stairs to find Nick. “Hey dude!” I screamed whilst entering his bedroom, “Some hot chick is here for you.” I told him and noticed that he had started to blush. “Is there something you are not telling me little bro?” I asked raising my eyebrow at him.

Nick placed his guitar on his bed and sighed, “I’m going to ask her out tonight.” He informed me straightaway. My heart leaped at the very thought, “I met her about two months ago and boy you have no idea what that girl does to me,” he said grinning widely.

My mouth dropped open, “Dude, don’t you think…that you’re rushing into a relationship? You’ve only just sorted things out with Miley, and you only met this girl two months ago, you don’t even know each other properly yet.” I tried to convince him out of the idea.

Nick looked at me and laughed, “Are you on drugs or something?” he asked me, “You’re the guy who asks out a girl the same day you first meet her and I’ve known Kodhai long enough to get to know her properly. You’re asking me to give that up?” he asked grinning, “I think you ate something unusual today Joe. You don’t sound like yourself at all,” he said laughing again, “she makes me happy Joe and that’s the most important thing right?”

I bit my lip hard, “R-Right,” I answered stuttering slightly.

“So…wish me luck!” Nick said winking in my direction he made his way down the stairs.

Problem was I didn’t want Nick to ask Kodhai out at all. Yes, I wanted my brother to be happy. But seriously? Kodhai? Couldn’t he have picked some other girl instead of her and left her all alone so I could get to know her better? Nick got everything he wanted. Yeah, so did I. But this happened to be a completely different case. I wanted the same thing as Nick.

“Listen Kodhai, I” I tried to figure out a place to begin, I really didn’t want to be the one to tell her, but I wasn’t given any choice at all. “Whatever I am about to tell you…I know you will not be able to take it easy…I apologise beforehand…”

“Just get over and done with Joe. I have to see Nick.” She said impatiently.

Closing my eyes tightly, I took a deep breath in, “About Nick…” I finally began, “He’s not here anymore,” I finally said the words and let the tears rolled down my cheeks yet again.

Kodhai laughed, “What do you mean he’s not here anymore? What? Has he gone back to Jersey for awhile or something?”

If only she understood what I was trying to tell her first hand. “No…there was an accident and Nick was involved…”

Her eyes widened, “Oh my God! Is Nick okay?! Where is he?” she started to panic.

I couldn’t handle it anymore, “he is in a better place now Kodhai.” I finally managed to inform her.

Silence.

A scream.

“Shut up!” Kodhai screamed at the top of her voice, “You know perfectly well Joe I do not find these kind of jokes funny…” her breathing accelerated as she stared at my face, I heard her gulp. “Y-You’re not joking?” she asked me in a whisper moving closer towards me. I shook my head. “No!” Kodhai cried shaking her head left and right, “this is a dream! I’ll wake up any second now! I just know it! My Nick cannot leave me…he promised he was going to be with me forever, he doesn’t break his promises!” she sobbed really hard and slumped down onto the floor and began to cry all over again.

I sat down on the floor right beside her and held onto her tight, “Nick’s gone now Kodhai. Control yourself…” I whispered in her ear. “I’m right here for you…”

Kodhai stared into my eyes coldly and pushed me away from her. “You!” she screamed pointing her finger towards me, “You wanted this didn’t you?” I shook my head, “Don’t lie to me Joe. I know. You wanted Nick out of your life; I remember your exact words. What kind of a brother are you huh?” she questioned. “I hate you!” she screamed punching my chest with her weak fists.

It killed me to see her like this. I wanted to put a stop to it, but I felt so helpless.

“You took my Nick away from me…” she whispered yet again and stared back into my eyes. “You’re going to pay for this Joe…I’ll make sure of it!” she yelled and slapped me hard across the face.